For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works.
Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy.
Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and
points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she
expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the
points system:
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed ...............................,,,,,,,,,,,....................+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows..,,,.. 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets.........................-1
You leave the toilet seat up....................................................-5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty..................... 0
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex........-1
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom............-2
You go out to buy her breakfast to be served in bed................+5
In the snow..........................................................................+8
But return with a six pack of beer...........................................-5
And forget the breakfast.......................................................-25
You check out a suspicious noise at night.............................. 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing.................. 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something.............+5
You whack it with a six iron.................................................+10
It's her cat...........................................................................-40
AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party....................................... 0
You leave her to chat with a college drinking buddy..................-2
Named Tiffany.......................................................................-4
Tiffany is a dancer................................................................-10
With breast implants...........................................................-18
HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday.....................................................0
You buy a card and flowers.....................................................0
You take her out to dinner...................................................... 0
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar..................+1
Okay, it is a sports bar..........................................................-2
And it's all-you-can-eat night..................................................-3
And your face is painted the colors of your best team.............-10
A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal.........................................................................0
The pal is happily married.....................................................+1
The pal is single....................................................................-7
He drives a Ferrari...............................................................-10
With a personalized license plate (GR8 NBED)......................-15
A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie.........................................................+2
You take her to a movie she likes...........................................+4
You take her to a movie you hate...........................................+6
You take her to a movie you like.............................................-2
It's called Death Cop 3...........................................................-3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans................................-9
You told her it was a foreign film about orphans......................-15
YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly.........................................-15
You exercise to get rid of it..................................................+10
You resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts...............-30
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too.".....................-800
THE BIG QUESTION
She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?"
You hesitate in responding....................................................-10
You reply, "Where?".............................................................-35
You reply, "No, I think it's your butt".....................................-100
Any other response..............................................................-20
COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem:
You listen, displaying a concerned expression...........................0
You listen, for over 30 minutes................................................+5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience........+50
You're mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear
her saying "well, what do you think I should do"......................-50
You listen for 30 minutes without looking at the TV................+100
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep................-200
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Monday, May 15, 2006
About MMS - II
However, the steps for MMS are different:
The sender sends a message to the MMSC
When the MMSC receives the message, the MMSC sends confirmation. The
sender then gets a 'message sent'.
MMSC sends the receiver a notification that a new message is waiting
The receiver can then download the message immediately or download
it later. Once the message is successfully downloaded, the receiver
gets a 'Message Received' indication.
Once the receiver has successfully downloaded the message, the
sender gets a 'Message Delivered' message.
SMS uses signalling links that have limited spare capacity. MMS uses
main data channels (initially GPRS) that enable multimedia messages
to be sent.
Both SMS and MMS are store and forward systems and are not real
time.
Unlike SMS, MMS can use user profiles to determine when content
should be delivered - for example a user may choose to receive
certain messages after working hours.
MMS can undertake format conversion based on terminal
characteristics and user profile. This does not apply to SMS.
In the SMS environment, storage of messages is not an issue since
the size of a message is small and the issue of storing a message
arises only when the recipient is not available (which is the
exception rather than the rule). In contrast, MMS messages can be
larger. Also, they may be stored in the recipient's MMSC for longer
(since they may not be downloaded immediately). This introduces a
cost. Further, users may like to 'store the message' more
permanently There is an opportunity for storage companies to provide
such services for example photo albums.
Unlike the SMSC, design of the MMSC is not monolithic. Hence, MMSC
design comprises multiple elements. An operator may mix and match
these elements from various vendors.
Access to MMS messages should be independent of access points - MMS
messages could be accessed through 3G, 2G networks, fixed line
networks etc.
SMS does not have a concept of a user profile whereas in MMS, the
user profile is central since it determines when a message will be
downloaded for example. This is because MMS messages are larger and
are not delivered immediately to the recipient.
Although MMS encompasses a wide range of content types, it is a
logical extension of SMS, making it easily adoptable for today's
generation of mobile users. Another advantage of MMS is that the
message is a multimedia presentation in a single entry, not a text
file with attachments, making it much simpler and user-friendly.
MMS Supports most Applications:
Text
• Unlimited text that can be formatted.
• Text can be accompanied by images, graphics, sound and in future
video.
Graphics
• Support for Graphs, tables, charts, diagrams and layouts.
• Support for animated GIFs.
Audio
• Support for music, speech.
• Support for streaming sound.
Images
• Sending images and snapshots from an attached or built in digital
camera.
• Ability to edit images and add text.
Video
• The ultimate goal of MMS is the ability to send video (over a full
3G network).
• The ability to send a simple 30-second clip has enticing
applications especially in the sports and media arena.
The MMS standard lists JPEG, GIF, text, AMR voice, and other formats
as supported media types, while unsupported formats are handled in a
controlled way. Like SMS, MMS is an open industry standard, and MMS
messages can be delivered using existing networks and protocols. MMS
is also bearer-independent, which means it is not limited to GSM or
WCDMA networks.
Drawbacks of MMS:
The speed of MMS transmission, although quick, is still dependent on
the message size and on the bearer used. However, since the receiver
is not aware of the ongoing transmission before the message has been
delivered, the delay is imperceptible, making MMS as convenient to
use as SMS.
The sender sends a message to the MMSC
When the MMSC receives the message, the MMSC sends confirmation. The
sender then gets a 'message sent'.
MMSC sends the receiver a notification that a new message is waiting
The receiver can then download the message immediately or download
it later. Once the message is successfully downloaded, the receiver
gets a 'Message Received' indication.
Once the receiver has successfully downloaded the message, the
sender gets a 'Message Delivered' message.
SMS uses signalling links that have limited spare capacity. MMS uses
main data channels (initially GPRS) that enable multimedia messages
to be sent.
Both SMS and MMS are store and forward systems and are not real
time.
Unlike SMS, MMS can use user profiles to determine when content
should be delivered - for example a user may choose to receive
certain messages after working hours.
MMS can undertake format conversion based on terminal
characteristics and user profile. This does not apply to SMS.
In the SMS environment, storage of messages is not an issue since
the size of a message is small and the issue of storing a message
arises only when the recipient is not available (which is the
exception rather than the rule). In contrast, MMS messages can be
larger. Also, they may be stored in the recipient's MMSC for longer
(since they may not be downloaded immediately). This introduces a
cost. Further, users may like to 'store the message' more
permanently There is an opportunity for storage companies to provide
such services for example photo albums.
Unlike the SMSC, design of the MMSC is not monolithic. Hence, MMSC
design comprises multiple elements. An operator may mix and match
these elements from various vendors.
Access to MMS messages should be independent of access points - MMS
messages could be accessed through 3G, 2G networks, fixed line
networks etc.
SMS does not have a concept of a user profile whereas in MMS, the
user profile is central since it determines when a message will be
downloaded for example. This is because MMS messages are larger and
are not delivered immediately to the recipient.
Although MMS encompasses a wide range of content types, it is a
logical extension of SMS, making it easily adoptable for today's
generation of mobile users. Another advantage of MMS is that the
message is a multimedia presentation in a single entry, not a text
file with attachments, making it much simpler and user-friendly.
MMS Supports most Applications:
Text
• Unlimited text that can be formatted.
• Text can be accompanied by images, graphics, sound and in future
video.
Graphics
• Support for Graphs, tables, charts, diagrams and layouts.
• Support for animated GIFs.
Audio
• Support for music, speech.
• Support for streaming sound.
Images
• Sending images and snapshots from an attached or built in digital
camera.
• Ability to edit images and add text.
Video
• The ultimate goal of MMS is the ability to send video (over a full
3G network).
• The ability to send a simple 30-second clip has enticing
applications especially in the sports and media arena.
The MMS standard lists JPEG, GIF, text, AMR voice, and other formats
as supported media types, while unsupported formats are handled in a
controlled way. Like SMS, MMS is an open industry standard, and MMS
messages can be delivered using existing networks and protocols. MMS
is also bearer-independent, which means it is not limited to GSM or
WCDMA networks.
Drawbacks of MMS:
The speed of MMS transmission, although quick, is still dependent on
the message size and on the bearer used. However, since the receiver
is not aware of the ongoing transmission before the message has been
delivered, the delay is imperceptible, making MMS as convenient to
use as SMS.
Mothers Day Special
The young mother set her foot on the path of life. "Is this the long way?" she asked.
The guide said: "Yes, but the way is hard, and you will be old before you reach the end of it.
But the end will be better than the beginning.
But the young mother was happy, and she would not believe that anything could be better than these years.
So she played with her children, and gathered flowers for them along the way, bathed them in the clear streams; and the sun shone on them. But the young Mother cried, "Nothing will ever be lovelier than this.
Then the night came, and the storm, the path was dark, and the children shook with fear and cold. The mother drew them close and covered them with her mantle, the children said, Mother, we are not afraid, for you are near, and no harm can come."
The morning came, there was a hill ahead, and the children climbed and grew weary, and the mother was weary. But at all times she said to the children," A little patience and we are there." So the children climbed. When they reached the top they said, "Mother, we would not have done it without you."
The mother, when she lay down at night looked up at the stars and said, "This is a better Day than the last, for my children have learned fortitude in the face of hardness. Yesterday I gave them courage, today, I have given them strength."
The next day came strange clouds which darkened the earth, clouds of war and hate and Evil. The children groped and stumbled. The mother said: "Look up. Lift your eyes to the light. The children looked and saw the clouds above in an everlasting glory, which guided them beyond the darkness. That night the Mother said, "This is the best day of all, for I have shown my children God."
The days went on, the weeks, the months and the years. The mother grew old and she was little and bent, but her children were tall and strong, and walked with courage.
When the way was rough, they lifted her, for she was as light as a feather. At last they came to a hill and beyond they could see a shining road and golden gates flung wide.
The mother said, "I have reached the end of my journey. Now I know the end is better than the beginning, for my children can walk alone, and their children after them."*
The children said, "You will always walk with us, Mother, even when you have gone through the gates." As they stood and watched her as she went on alone, the gates closed after her.
They said: "We cannot see her but she is with us still. A Mother like ours is more than a Memory, she is a living presence......."
Your Mother is always with you.... She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the Street. She's the smell of soap in your freshly laundered socks. She's the cool hand on your brow when you're not well. Your Mother lives inside your laughter. She's crystallized in every tear drop.
She's the place you came from, your first home.
She's the map you follow with every step you take. She's your first love and your first heartbreak, and nothing on earth can separate you.
Not time, not space... not even death!
The guide said: "Yes, but the way is hard, and you will be old before you reach the end of it.
But the end will be better than the beginning.
But the young mother was happy, and she would not believe that anything could be better than these years.
So she played with her children, and gathered flowers for them along the way, bathed them in the clear streams; and the sun shone on them. But the young Mother cried, "Nothing will ever be lovelier than this.
Then the night came, and the storm, the path was dark, and the children shook with fear and cold. The mother drew them close and covered them with her mantle, the children said, Mother, we are not afraid, for you are near, and no harm can come."
The morning came, there was a hill ahead, and the children climbed and grew weary, and the mother was weary. But at all times she said to the children," A little patience and we are there." So the children climbed. When they reached the top they said, "Mother, we would not have done it without you."
The mother, when she lay down at night looked up at the stars and said, "This is a better Day than the last, for my children have learned fortitude in the face of hardness. Yesterday I gave them courage, today, I have given them strength."
The next day came strange clouds which darkened the earth, clouds of war and hate and Evil. The children groped and stumbled. The mother said: "Look up. Lift your eyes to the light. The children looked and saw the clouds above in an everlasting glory, which guided them beyond the darkness. That night the Mother said, "This is the best day of all, for I have shown my children God."
The days went on, the weeks, the months and the years. The mother grew old and she was little and bent, but her children were tall and strong, and walked with courage.
When the way was rough, they lifted her, for she was as light as a feather. At last they came to a hill and beyond they could see a shining road and golden gates flung wide.
The mother said, "I have reached the end of my journey. Now I know the end is better than the beginning, for my children can walk alone, and their children after them."*
The children said, "You will always walk with us, Mother, even when you have gone through the gates." As they stood and watched her as she went on alone, the gates closed after her.
They said: "We cannot see her but she is with us still. A Mother like ours is more than a Memory, she is a living presence......."
Your Mother is always with you.... She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the Street. She's the smell of soap in your freshly laundered socks. She's the cool hand on your brow when you're not well. Your Mother lives inside your laughter. She's crystallized in every tear drop.
She's the place you came from, your first home.
She's the map you follow with every step you take. She's your first love and your first heartbreak, and nothing on earth can separate you.
Not time, not space... not even death!
Question of the Day
A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a National Organization for Women gathering, and his hostess broached the subject in which the doctor was most at ease.
"Would you mind telling me, Doctor," she asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?"
"Nothing is easier," he replied. "You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track."
"What sort of question?"
"Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?'
The woman thought a moment, then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't happen to have another example, would you? I must confess I don't know much about history."
"Would you mind telling me, Doctor," she asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?"
"Nothing is easier," he replied. "You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track."
"What sort of question?"
"Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?'
The woman thought a moment, then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't happen to have another example, would you? I must confess I don't know much about history."
Mother In Law
A couple was dressed and ready to go out for the evening. They turned on a night light, turned on the phone answering machine, covered their pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. They phoned the local cab company
and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and the couple opened the front door to leave their house. The cat they had put out into the yard scoots back into the house.
They don't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird. The wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, the man in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, the wife doesn't want the driver to know the house will be empty for the night. She explains to the driver that her husband will be out soon. "He's just going upstairs to say good-bye to my mother."
A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab." Sorry I took so long, " he says as they drive away. "Stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off
so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked. I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!"
The cabdriver hit a parked car
and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and the couple opened the front door to leave their house. The cat they had put out into the yard scoots back into the house.
They don't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird. The wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, the man in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, the wife doesn't want the driver to know the house will be empty for the night. She explains to the driver that her husband will be out soon. "He's just going upstairs to say good-bye to my mother."
A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab." Sorry I took so long, " he says as they drive away. "Stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off
so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked. I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!"
The cabdriver hit a parked car
Sunday, May 14, 2006
About MMS - I
The Multimedia Messaging Service (MMS) is a new messaging service that allows messages containing pictures, audio clips, text and in the future, video, to be sent and received between one customer and another.
Multimedia Messaging Service (MMS) is a store and forward messaging service which allows cell phone subscribers to exchange multimedia messages with other mobile subscribers. As such it can be seen as an evolution of SMS, with MMS supporting the transmission of additional media types:
• text
• picture
• audio
• video
Multimedia Messaging Service (MMS) is an important emerging service, which allows the sending of multiple media in a single message, and the ability to send a message to multiple recipients at one time.
Just as the traditional short message service (SMS), multimedia messaging service (MMS) provides automatic and immediate delivery of personal messages. Unlike the SMS however, MMS allows mobile phone users to enhance their messages by incorporating sound, images, and other rich content, transforming it into a personalized visual and
audio message.
But MMS technology offers more than just a broadening of message content. With MMS, it is not only possible to send your multimedia messages from one phone to another, but also from phone to email, and vice versa. This feature dramatically increases the possibilities of mobile communication, both for private and corporate use.
The originator of the message, can easily create a Multimedia Message, either using a built-in or accessory camera, or can use images and sounds stored previously in the cell phone ( or possibly downloaded from a site).
Several Multimedia Messages can be stored in the users handset and reviewed or forwarded at a later date.
How MMS works:
Depending upon the mobile operator, a typical example of how MMS messages are sent and received between two compatible MMS mobile phones is :
1: Using an MMS compatible phone, take a picture.
2: Use your mobile phone to personalize the message by adding text, voice or sound clip
3: Send the MMS message
On a compatible cell phone, the MMS message will appear with a new message alert. The picture message will open on the screen, the text will appear below the image and the sound, if any, plays automatically.
Comparison of MMS with SMS:
SMS messages are not delivered in real time because they follow the 'store and forward' model. All SMS messages first get sent to the SMSC (Short Message Service Centre) from where they are routed to the recipient. MMSC (Multi Media Service Centre) performs an analogous function to the SMSC for the purposes of this discussion.
Like SMS messages, MMS messages are also not delivered in real time. However the actual interaction in the delivery of MMS messages is different from that of SMS.
SMS messages delivery is quite simple - SMS messages get sent first to the SMSC and if the SMSC can deliver the message immediately to the recipient, the message is sent to them.
To be Continued..
Multimedia Messaging Service (MMS) is a store and forward messaging service which allows cell phone subscribers to exchange multimedia messages with other mobile subscribers. As such it can be seen as an evolution of SMS, with MMS supporting the transmission of additional media types:
• text
• picture
• audio
• video
Multimedia Messaging Service (MMS) is an important emerging service, which allows the sending of multiple media in a single message, and the ability to send a message to multiple recipients at one time.
Just as the traditional short message service (SMS), multimedia messaging service (MMS) provides automatic and immediate delivery of personal messages. Unlike the SMS however, MMS allows mobile phone users to enhance their messages by incorporating sound, images, and other rich content, transforming it into a personalized visual and
audio message.
But MMS technology offers more than just a broadening of message content. With MMS, it is not only possible to send your multimedia messages from one phone to another, but also from phone to email, and vice versa. This feature dramatically increases the possibilities of mobile communication, both for private and corporate use.
The originator of the message, can easily create a Multimedia Message, either using a built-in or accessory camera, or can use images and sounds stored previously in the cell phone ( or possibly downloaded from a site).
Several Multimedia Messages can be stored in the users handset and reviewed or forwarded at a later date.
How MMS works:
Depending upon the mobile operator, a typical example of how MMS messages are sent and received between two compatible MMS mobile phones is :
1: Using an MMS compatible phone, take a picture.
2: Use your mobile phone to personalize the message by adding text, voice or sound clip
3: Send the MMS message
On a compatible cell phone, the MMS message will appear with a new message alert. The picture message will open on the screen, the text will appear below the image and the sound, if any, plays automatically.
Comparison of MMS with SMS:
SMS messages are not delivered in real time because they follow the 'store and forward' model. All SMS messages first get sent to the SMSC (Short Message Service Centre) from where they are routed to the recipient. MMSC (Multi Media Service Centre) performs an analogous function to the SMSC for the purposes of this discussion.
Like SMS messages, MMS messages are also not delivered in real time. However the actual interaction in the delivery of MMS messages is different from that of SMS.
SMS messages delivery is quite simple - SMS messages get sent first to the SMSC and if the SMSC can deliver the message immediately to the recipient, the message is sent to them.
To be Continued..
Burdens and Sorrows
A HUSBAND COMES FROM CHURCH
HE GREETED HIS WIFE AND LIFTED HER UP. HE CARRIED HER AROUND THE HOUSE.
THE WIFE WAS SO SURPRISED AND SHE ASKED
"DID THE PASTOR PREACH ABOUT BEING ROMANTIC"?
THE HUSBAND SAID, "NO, HE SAID WE MUST CARRY OUR BURDENS AND SORROWS
HE GREETED HIS WIFE AND LIFTED HER UP. HE CARRIED HER AROUND THE HOUSE.
THE WIFE WAS SO SURPRISED AND SHE ASKED
"DID THE PASTOR PREACH ABOUT BEING ROMANTIC"?
THE HUSBAND SAID, "NO, HE SAID WE MUST CARRY OUR BURDENS AND SORROWS
Sharing
A little old couple walked slowly into a McDonald's one cold winter evening.
They looked out of place amid the young families and young couples eating there that night.
Some of the customers looked admiringly at them. You could tell what the admirers were thinking:
"Look, there is a couple who has been through a lot together, probably for 60 years or more!"
The little old man walked up to the cash register, placed his order with no hesitation and then paid for their meal.
The couple took a table near the back wall and started taking food off of the tray.
There was one hamburger, one order of french fries and one drink.
The little old man unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half.
He placed one half in front of his wife.
Then he carefully counted out the french fries, divided them in two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.
He took a sip of the drink, and then his wife took a sip as the man began to eat his few bites.
Again, you could tell what people around the old couple were saying. - "They were used to sharing everything."
Then the crowd noticed that the little old lady still hadn't eaten a thing. She just sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally sipped some of the drink.
A young man came over and begged them to let him buy them another meal. The lady explained that no, they were used to sharing.
As the little old man finished eating and was wiping his face neatly with a napkin, the young man could stand it no longer and asked again.
After being politely refused again, he finally asked the little old lady, "Ma'am, why aren't you eating. You said that you share everything.
What is it that you are waiting for?" She answered,
"THE TEETH"
They looked out of place amid the young families and young couples eating there that night.
Some of the customers looked admiringly at them. You could tell what the admirers were thinking:
"Look, there is a couple who has been through a lot together, probably for 60 years or more!"
The little old man walked up to the cash register, placed his order with no hesitation and then paid for their meal.
The couple took a table near the back wall and started taking food off of the tray.
There was one hamburger, one order of french fries and one drink.
The little old man unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half.
He placed one half in front of his wife.
Then he carefully counted out the french fries, divided them in two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.
He took a sip of the drink, and then his wife took a sip as the man began to eat his few bites.
Again, you could tell what people around the old couple were saying. - "They were used to sharing everything."
Then the crowd noticed that the little old lady still hadn't eaten a thing. She just sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally sipped some of the drink.
A young man came over and begged them to let him buy them another meal. The lady explained that no, they were used to sharing.
As the little old man finished eating and was wiping his face neatly with a napkin, the young man could stand it no longer and asked again.
After being politely refused again, he finally asked the little old lady, "Ma'am, why aren't you eating. You said that you share everything.
What is it that you are waiting for?" She answered,
"THE TEETH"
Why Dogs Don't Live As Long As People
Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog's owners, Ron, his wife Lisa, and their little boy, Shane, were all very much attached to Belker and they were hoping for a miracle. I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer.
I told the family there were no miracles left for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home. As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for the four-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience.
The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker's family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away. The little boy seemed to accept Belker's transition without any difficulty or confusion.
We sat together for a while after Belker's death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives. Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, "I know why." Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I'd never heard a more comforting explanation.
He said, *"People are born so that*
*they can learn how to live a good life -- like loving everybody all the*
*time and being nice, right?"*
The four-year-old continued,
*"Well, dogs*
*already know how to do that, so they don't have to stay as long."*
I told the family there were no miracles left for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home. As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for the four-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience.
The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker's family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away. The little boy seemed to accept Belker's transition without any difficulty or confusion.
We sat together for a while after Belker's death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives. Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, "I know why." Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I'd never heard a more comforting explanation.
He said, *"People are born so that*
*they can learn how to live a good life -- like loving everybody all the*
*time and being nice, right?"*
The four-year-old continued,
*"Well, dogs*
*already know how to do that, so they don't have to stay as long."*
Too Early Conclusions
A woman wanted to reach her husband on his mobile phone but discovered that she was out of credit, She instructed her son to use his own phone to pass across an urgent message to his daddy who was on site. After junior had called, he got back to mummy to inform her that there was a lady that picked up daddy's phone the three times he tried reaching dad on the mobile.
Women!!
She waited impatiently for her husband to return from work and upon seeing him in the driveway, she rushed out and gave him a tight slap, and she slapped him again, for good measure.
People from the neighborhood rushed around to find out what the cause of the commotion was. The woman asked junior to tell everybody what the lady said to him when he called.
Junior said "The subscriber you have dialed is not available at present. Please Try Again Later"...
Women!!
She waited impatiently for her husband to return from work and upon seeing him in the driveway, she rushed out and gave him a tight slap, and she slapped him again, for good measure.
People from the neighborhood rushed around to find out what the cause of the commotion was. The woman asked junior to tell everybody what the lady said to him when he called.
Junior said "The subscriber you have dialed is not available at present. Please Try Again Later"...
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
About DVD - VI
How should I clean and care for DVDs?
Since DVDs are read by a laser, they are resistant to fingerprints, dust, smudges, and scratches.
However, surface contaminants and scratches can cause data errors. On a video player, the effect of data errors ranges from minor video artifacts to frame skipping to complete unplayability. So it's a good idea to take care of your discs. In general treat them the same way as you would a CD.
Your player can't be harmed by a scratched or dirty disc unless globs of nasty substances on it actually hit the lens. Still, it's best to keep your discs clean, which will also keep the inside of your player clean. Don't attempt to play a cracked disc, as it could shatter and damage the player. It doesn't hurt to leave the disc in the player, even if it's paused and still spinning, but leaving it running unattended for days on end might not be a good idea.
In general, there's no need to clean the lens on your player, since the air moved by the rotating disc keeps it clean. However, if you use a lens cleaning disc in your CD player, you may want to do the same with your DVD player. It's advisable to use a cleaning disc specifically designed for DVD players, because there are minor differences in lens positioning between DVD and CD players.
Periodic alignment of the pickup head is not necessary. Sometimes the laser can drift out of alignment, especially after rough handling of the player, but this is not a regular maintenance item.
Care and feeding of DVDs
Handle only at the hub or outer edge. Don't touch the shiny surface with your popcorn-greasy fingers.
Store in a protective case when not in use. Don't bend the disc when taking it out of the case, and be careful not to scratch the disc when placing it in the case or in the player tray.
Make certain the disc is properly seated in the player tray before you close it.
Keep discs away from radiators, heaters, hot equipment surfaces, direct sunlight (near a window or in a car during hot weather), pets, small children, and other destructive forces. The DVD specification recommends that discs be stored at a temperature between -20 to 50 °C (-4 to 122 °F) with less than 15 °C (27 °F) variation per hour, at relative humidity of 5 to 90 percent. Artificial light and indirect sunlight have no effect on replicated DVDs since they are made of polycarbonate, polymer adhesives, and metal (usually aluminum or gold), none of which are significantly affected by exposure to light. Exposure to bright sunlight may affect recordable DVDs, specifically write-once DVDs (DVD-R and DVD+R) that use light-sensitive dyes. Magnetic fields have no effect on DVDs, so it's ok to leave them sitting on your speakers.
Coloring the outside edge of a DVD with a green marker (or any other color) makes no difference in video or audio quality. Data is read based on pit interference at 1/4 of the laser wavelength, a distance of less than 165 nanometers. A bit of dye that on average is more than 3 million times farther away is not going to affect anything.
Cleaning and repairing DVDs
If you notice problems when playing a disc, you may be able to correct them with a simple cleaning.
· Do not use strong cleaners, abrasives, solvents, or acids.
· With a soft, lint-free cloth, wipe gently in only a radial direction (a straight line between the hub and the rim). Since the data is arranged circularly on the disc, the micro scratches you create when cleaning the disc (or the nasty gouge you make with the dirt you didn't see on your cleaning cloth) will cross more error correction blocks and be less likely to cause unrecoverable errors.
· Don't use canned or compressed air, which can be very cold and may thermally stress the disc.
· For stubborn dirt or gummy adhesive, use water, water with mild soap, or isopropyl alcohol. As a last resort, try peanut oil. Let it sit for about a minute before wiping it off.
· There are commercial products that clean discs and provide some protection from dust, fingerprints, and scratches. CD cleaning products work as well as DVD cleaning products.
If you continue to have problems after cleaning the disc, you may need to attempt to repair one or more scratches. Sometimes even hairline scratches can cause errors if they just happen to cover an entire error correction (ECC) block. Examine the disc to find scratches, keeping in mind that the laser reads from the bottom. There are essentially two methods of repairing scratches: 1) fill or coat the scratch with an optical material; 2) polish down the scratch. There are many commercial products that do one or both of these, or you may wish to do it yourself with polishing compounds or toothpaste. The trick is to polish out the scratch without causing new ones. A mess of small polishing scratches may cause more damage than a big scratch. As with cleaning, polish only in the radial direction.
Libraries, rental shops, and other venues that need to clean a lot of discs may wish to invest in a commercial polishing machine that can restore a disc to pristine condition after an amazing amount of abuse. Keep in mind that the data layer on a DVD is only half as deep as on a CD, so a DVD can only be repolished about half as many times.
What's a MiniDVD?
The term "miniDVD" confusingly refers to 8-cm DVDs and to CDs with DVD-Video content on them, more appropriately called cDVDs. 8-cm DVDs are defined in the DVD specification and will play on almost all DVD players and drives, but they don't work in most slot-loading systems, such as in cars. cDVDs play on most DVD PCs, but only on very few DVD players
What are .IFO, .VOB, .AOB, and .VRO files? How can I play them?
The DVD-Video and DVD-Audio specifications define how audio and video data are stored in specialized files. The .IFO files contain menus and other information about the video and audio. The .BUP files are backup copies of the .IFO files. The .VOB files (for DVD-Video) and .AOB files (for DVD-Audio) are MPEG-2 program streams with additional packets containing navigation and search information.
Since a .VOB file is just a specialized MPEG-2 file, most MPEG-2 decoders and software DVD players can play them. You may need to change the extension from .VOB to .MPG. However, any special features such as angles or branching will cause strange effects. The best way to play a .VOB file is to use a DVD player application to play the entire volume (or to open the VIDEO_TS.IFO file), since this will make sure all the DVD-Video features are used properly.
Many DVDs are encrypted, which means the .VOB files won't play when copied to your hard drive.
If you try to copy the .IFO and .VOB files to a recordable DVD it may not play.
.VRO files are created by DVD video recorders using the DVD-VR format. In some cases you can treat the files just like .VOB files, but in many cases they are fragmented and unplayable. Newer version of Cyberlink PowerDVD, InterVideo WinDVD, and Sonic Cineplayer can play them. Otherwise you'll need a utility such as Heuris Extractor or Panasonic DVD-MovieAlbum to copy them to a hard disk in usable format. Alternatively you can use DVD disc creation software such as InterVideo WinDVD Creator, MedioStream neoDVD, or Sonic MyDVD can import from -VR discs and write out standard DVD-Video discs
Since DVDs are read by a laser, they are resistant to fingerprints, dust, smudges, and scratches.
However, surface contaminants and scratches can cause data errors. On a video player, the effect of data errors ranges from minor video artifacts to frame skipping to complete unplayability. So it's a good idea to take care of your discs. In general treat them the same way as you would a CD.
Your player can't be harmed by a scratched or dirty disc unless globs of nasty substances on it actually hit the lens. Still, it's best to keep your discs clean, which will also keep the inside of your player clean. Don't attempt to play a cracked disc, as it could shatter and damage the player. It doesn't hurt to leave the disc in the player, even if it's paused and still spinning, but leaving it running unattended for days on end might not be a good idea.
In general, there's no need to clean the lens on your player, since the air moved by the rotating disc keeps it clean. However, if you use a lens cleaning disc in your CD player, you may want to do the same with your DVD player. It's advisable to use a cleaning disc specifically designed for DVD players, because there are minor differences in lens positioning between DVD and CD players.
Periodic alignment of the pickup head is not necessary. Sometimes the laser can drift out of alignment, especially after rough handling of the player, but this is not a regular maintenance item.
Care and feeding of DVDs
Handle only at the hub or outer edge. Don't touch the shiny surface with your popcorn-greasy fingers.
Store in a protective case when not in use. Don't bend the disc when taking it out of the case, and be careful not to scratch the disc when placing it in the case or in the player tray.
Make certain the disc is properly seated in the player tray before you close it.
Keep discs away from radiators, heaters, hot equipment surfaces, direct sunlight (near a window or in a car during hot weather), pets, small children, and other destructive forces. The DVD specification recommends that discs be stored at a temperature between -20 to 50 °C (-4 to 122 °F) with less than 15 °C (27 °F) variation per hour, at relative humidity of 5 to 90 percent. Artificial light and indirect sunlight have no effect on replicated DVDs since they are made of polycarbonate, polymer adhesives, and metal (usually aluminum or gold), none of which are significantly affected by exposure to light. Exposure to bright sunlight may affect recordable DVDs, specifically write-once DVDs (DVD-R and DVD+R) that use light-sensitive dyes. Magnetic fields have no effect on DVDs, so it's ok to leave them sitting on your speakers.
Coloring the outside edge of a DVD with a green marker (or any other color) makes no difference in video or audio quality. Data is read based on pit interference at 1/4 of the laser wavelength, a distance of less than 165 nanometers. A bit of dye that on average is more than 3 million times farther away is not going to affect anything.
Cleaning and repairing DVDs
If you notice problems when playing a disc, you may be able to correct them with a simple cleaning.
· Do not use strong cleaners, abrasives, solvents, or acids.
· With a soft, lint-free cloth, wipe gently in only a radial direction (a straight line between the hub and the rim). Since the data is arranged circularly on the disc, the micro scratches you create when cleaning the disc (or the nasty gouge you make with the dirt you didn't see on your cleaning cloth) will cross more error correction blocks and be less likely to cause unrecoverable errors.
· Don't use canned or compressed air, which can be very cold and may thermally stress the disc.
· For stubborn dirt or gummy adhesive, use water, water with mild soap, or isopropyl alcohol. As a last resort, try peanut oil. Let it sit for about a minute before wiping it off.
· There are commercial products that clean discs and provide some protection from dust, fingerprints, and scratches. CD cleaning products work as well as DVD cleaning products.
If you continue to have problems after cleaning the disc, you may need to attempt to repair one or more scratches. Sometimes even hairline scratches can cause errors if they just happen to cover an entire error correction (ECC) block. Examine the disc to find scratches, keeping in mind that the laser reads from the bottom. There are essentially two methods of repairing scratches: 1) fill or coat the scratch with an optical material; 2) polish down the scratch. There are many commercial products that do one or both of these, or you may wish to do it yourself with polishing compounds or toothpaste. The trick is to polish out the scratch without causing new ones. A mess of small polishing scratches may cause more damage than a big scratch. As with cleaning, polish only in the radial direction.
Libraries, rental shops, and other venues that need to clean a lot of discs may wish to invest in a commercial polishing machine that can restore a disc to pristine condition after an amazing amount of abuse. Keep in mind that the data layer on a DVD is only half as deep as on a CD, so a DVD can only be repolished about half as many times.
What's a MiniDVD?
The term "miniDVD" confusingly refers to 8-cm DVDs and to CDs with DVD-Video content on them, more appropriately called cDVDs. 8-cm DVDs are defined in the DVD specification and will play on almost all DVD players and drives, but they don't work in most slot-loading systems, such as in cars. cDVDs play on most DVD PCs, but only on very few DVD players
What are .IFO, .VOB, .AOB, and .VRO files? How can I play them?
The DVD-Video and DVD-Audio specifications define how audio and video data are stored in specialized files. The .IFO files contain menus and other information about the video and audio. The .BUP files are backup copies of the .IFO files. The .VOB files (for DVD-Video) and .AOB files (for DVD-Audio) are MPEG-2 program streams with additional packets containing navigation and search information.
Since a .VOB file is just a specialized MPEG-2 file, most MPEG-2 decoders and software DVD players can play them. You may need to change the extension from .VOB to .MPG. However, any special features such as angles or branching will cause strange effects. The best way to play a .VOB file is to use a DVD player application to play the entire volume (or to open the VIDEO_TS.IFO file), since this will make sure all the DVD-Video features are used properly.
Many DVDs are encrypted, which means the .VOB files won't play when copied to your hard drive.
If you try to copy the .IFO and .VOB files to a recordable DVD it may not play.
.VRO files are created by DVD video recorders using the DVD-VR format. In some cases you can treat the files just like .VOB files, but in many cases they are fragmented and unplayable. Newer version of Cyberlink PowerDVD, InterVideo WinDVD, and Sonic Cineplayer can play them. Otherwise you'll need a utility such as Heuris Extractor or Panasonic DVD-MovieAlbum to copy them to a hard disk in usable format. Alternatively you can use DVD disc creation software such as InterVideo WinDVD Creator, MedioStream neoDVD, or Sonic MyDVD can import from -VR discs and write out standard DVD-Video discs
Audit
The Internal Revenue sends their auditor (*a nasty little man*) to audit a synagogue.
The auditor is doing all the checks, and then turns to the Rabbi and says, "I noticed that you buy a lot of candles."
"Yes," answered the Rabbi.
"Well, Rabbi, what do you do with the candle drippings?" he asked.
"A good question," noted the Rabbi. "We actually save them up. When we have enough, we send them back to the candle maker. And every now and then, they send us a free box of candles."
"Oh," replied the auditor somewhat disappointed that his question actually had a practical answer. So he thought he'd try another question, in his obnoxious way...
"Rabbi, what about all these matzo purchases? What do you do...with the crumbs from the matzo?"
"Ah, yes," replied the Rabbi calmly, "we actually collect up the crumbs, we send them in a box back to the manufacturer and every now and then, they send a box of matzo balls."
"Oh," replied the auditor, thinking hard how to fluster the Rabbi.
"Well, Rabbi," he went on, "what do you do with all the foreskins from the circumcisions? "
"Yes, here too, we do not waste," answered the Rabbi. "What we do is save up all the foreskins. And when we have enough we actually send them to the Internal Revenue Service."
"Internal Revenue Service?," questioned the auditor in disbelief.
"Ah, yes," replied the Rabbi, "Internal Revenue Service. And... about once a year, they send us a little prick like you."
The auditor is doing all the checks, and then turns to the Rabbi and says, "I noticed that you buy a lot of candles."
"Yes," answered the Rabbi.
"Well, Rabbi, what do you do with the candle drippings?" he asked.
"A good question," noted the Rabbi. "We actually save them up. When we have enough, we send them back to the candle maker. And every now and then, they send us a free box of candles."
"Oh," replied the auditor somewhat disappointed that his question actually had a practical answer. So he thought he'd try another question, in his obnoxious way...
"Rabbi, what about all these matzo purchases? What do you do...with the crumbs from the matzo?"
"Ah, yes," replied the Rabbi calmly, "we actually collect up the crumbs, we send them in a box back to the manufacturer and every now and then, they send a box of matzo balls."
"Oh," replied the auditor, thinking hard how to fluster the Rabbi.
"Well, Rabbi," he went on, "what do you do with all the foreskins from the circumcisions? "
"Yes, here too, we do not waste," answered the Rabbi. "What we do is save up all the foreskins. And when we have enough we actually send them to the Internal Revenue Service."
"Internal Revenue Service?," questioned the auditor in disbelief.
"Ah, yes," replied the Rabbi, "Internal Revenue Service. And... about once a year, they send us a little prick like you."
Diploma
An old lady is pushing a pram with her grandchild in it at the supermarket.
Every time she puts an item in the trolley she says: "Here's a little something for you Diploma".
The shopkeeper who was watching her all the while, finally asks her why she calls her grandchild "Diploma".
The old woman replies: "Because I sent my daughter to university and this is what she came with..."
Every time she puts an item in the trolley she says: "Here's a little something for you Diploma".
The shopkeeper who was watching her all the while, finally asks her why she calls her grandchild "Diploma".
The old woman replies: "Because I sent my daughter to university and this is what she came with..."
Migraine
A man goes to the doctor and complains that no medicine helps with his migraines.
"When I have a migraine," says the doctor, "I go home and soak in a hot bath. Then I have mywife sponge me off with the hottest water I can stand, especially around the forehead. Almost immediately,the headache is gone.
Try it and come back in six weeks."Six weeks later, the patient returns with a big grin.
"It worked!" he exclaims. "I've had migraines for years, and no ones ever helped me before!"
"Glad to help," says the doctor.
"By the way," the patient adds, "you have a really nice house."
"When I have a migraine," says the doctor, "I go home and soak in a hot bath. Then I have mywife sponge me off with the hottest water I can stand, especially around the forehead. Almost immediately,the headache is gone.
Try it and come back in six weeks."Six weeks later, the patient returns with a big grin.
"It worked!" he exclaims. "I've had migraines for years, and no ones ever helped me before!"
"Glad to help," says the doctor.
"By the way," the patient adds, "you have a really nice house."
About DVD - V
What's a dual-layer disc? Will it work in all players?
A dual-layer disc has two layers of data, one of them semi-transparent so that the laser can focus through it and read the second layer. Since both layers are read from the same side, a dual-layer disc can hold almost twice as much as a single-layer disc, typically 4 hours of video (see 3.3 for more details). Many discs use dual layers. Initially only a few replication plants could make dual-layer discs, but most plants now have the capability. The second layer can use either a PTP (parallel track path) layout where both tracks run in parallel (for independent data or special switching effects), or an OTP (opposite track path) layout where the second track runs in an opposite spiral; that is, the pickup head reads out from the center on the first track then in from the outside on the second track. The OTP layout, also called RSDL (reverse-spiral dual layer), is designed to provide continuous video across both layers. When the laser pickup head reaches the end of the first layer it changes focus to the second layer and starts moving back toward the center of the disc. The layer change can occur anywhere in the video; it doesn't have to be at a chapter point. There's no guarantee that the switch between layers will be seamless. The layer change is invisible on some players, but it can cause the video to freeze for a fraction of a second or as long as 4 seconds on other players. The "seamlessness" depends as much on the way the disc is prepared as on the design of the player. The advantage of two layers is that long movies can use higher data rates for better quality than with a single layer.
There are various ways to recognize dual-layer discs: 1) the gold color, 2) a menu on the disc for selecting the widescreen or fullscreen version, 3) two serial numbers on one side.
The DVD specification requires that players and drives read dual-layer discs. There are very few units that have problems with dual-layer discs--this is a design flaw and should be corrected for free by the manufacturer. Some discs are designed with a "seamless layer change" that technically goes beyond what the DVD spec allows. This causes problems on a few older players.
All players and drives also play double-sided discs if you flip them over. No manufacturer has announced a model that will play both sides, other than a few DVD jukeboxes. The added cost would be hard to justify since discs can hold over 4 hours of video on one side by using two layers. (Early discs used two sides because dual-layer production was not widely supported. This is no longer a problem.) Pioneer LD/DVD players can play both sides of a laserdisc, but not a DVD.
Is DVD-Video a worldwide standard? Does it work with NTSC, PAL, and SECAM?
Video on a DVD is stored in digital format, but it's formatted for one of two mutually incompatible television systems: 525/60 (NTSC) or 625/50 (PAL/SECAM). Therefore, there are two kinds of DVDs: "NTSC DVDs" and "PAL DVDs." Some players only play NTSC discs, others play PAL and NTSC discs. Discs are also coded for different regions of the world . NTSC is the TV format used in Canada, Japan, Mexico, Philippines, Taiwan, United States, and other countries. PAL is the TV format used in most of Europe, most of Africa, China, India, Australia, New Zealand, Israel, North Korea, and other countries. (See the chart at www.remoteviewing.com for a complete list.)
Almost all DVD players sold in PAL countries play both kinds of discs. These multi-standard players partially convert NTSC to a 60-Hz PAL (4.43 NTSC) signal. The player uses the PAL 4.43-MHz color subcarrier encoding format but keeps the 525/60 NTSC scanning rate. Most modern PAL TVs can handle this "pseudo-PAL" signal. A few multi-standard PAL players output true 3.58 NTSC from NTSC discs, which requires an NTSC TV or a multi-standard TV. Some players have a switch to choose 60-Hz PAL or true NTSC output when playing NTSC discs. There are a few standards-converting PAL players that convert from an NTSC disc to standard PAL output for older PAL TVs. Proper "on the fly" standards conversion requires expensive hardware to handle scaling, temporal conversion, and object motion analysis. Because the quality of conversion in DVD players is poor, using 60-Hz PAL output with a compatible TV provides a better picture than converting from NTSC to PAL. (Sound is not affected by video conversion.)
Most NTSC players can't play PAL discs, and most NTSC TVs don't work with PAL video. A very small number of NTSC players (such as Apex and SMC) can convert PAL to NTSC. External converter boxes are also available, such as the Emerson EVC1595 ($350). High-quality converters are available from companies such as TenLab and Snell and Wilcox.
Beware, some standards-converting players can't convert anamorphic widescreen video for 4:3 displays
The latest software tools such as Adobe After Effects and Canopus ProCoder do quite a good job of converting between PAL and NTSC at low cost, but they are only appropriate for the production environment (converting the video before it is encoded and put on the DVD). See Snell and Wilcox's The Engineer's Guide to Standards Conversion and The Engineer's Guide to Motion Compensation for technical details of conversion.
There are three differences between discs intended for playback on different TV systems: picture dimensions and pixel aspect ratio (720x480 vs. 720x576), display frame rate (29.97 vs. 25), and surround audio options (Dolby Digital vs. MPEG audio). Video from film is usually encoded at 24 frames/sec but is preformatted for one of the two required display rates. Movies formatted for PAL display are usually sped up by 4% at playback, so the audio must be adjusted accordingly before being encoded. All PAL DVD players can play Dolby Digital audio tracks, but not all NTSC players can play MPEG audio tracks. PAL and SECAM share the same scanning format, so discs are the same for both systems. The only difference is that SECAM players output the color signal in the format required by SECAM TVs. Note that modern TVs in most SECAM countries can also read PAL signals, so you can use a player that only has PAL output. The only case in which you need a player with SECAM output is for older SECAM-only TVs.
A producer can choose to put 525/60 NTSC video on one side of the disc and 625/50 PAL on the other. Most studios put Dolby Digital audio tracks on their PAL discs instead of MPEG audio tracks.
Because of PAL's higher resolution, the video usually takes more space on the disc than the NTSC version.
There are actually three types of DVD players if you count computers. Most DVD PC software and hardware can play both NTSC and PAL video and both Dolby Digital and MPEG audio. Some PCs can only display the converted video on the computer monitor, but others can output it as a video signal for a TV.
Bottom line: NTSC discs (with Dolby Digital audio) play on over 95% of DVD systems worldwide. PAL discs play on very few players outside of PAL countries.
A dual-layer disc has two layers of data, one of them semi-transparent so that the laser can focus through it and read the second layer. Since both layers are read from the same side, a dual-layer disc can hold almost twice as much as a single-layer disc, typically 4 hours of video (see 3.3 for more details). Many discs use dual layers. Initially only a few replication plants could make dual-layer discs, but most plants now have the capability. The second layer can use either a PTP (parallel track path) layout where both tracks run in parallel (for independent data or special switching effects), or an OTP (opposite track path) layout where the second track runs in an opposite spiral; that is, the pickup head reads out from the center on the first track then in from the outside on the second track. The OTP layout, also called RSDL (reverse-spiral dual layer), is designed to provide continuous video across both layers. When the laser pickup head reaches the end of the first layer it changes focus to the second layer and starts moving back toward the center of the disc. The layer change can occur anywhere in the video; it doesn't have to be at a chapter point. There's no guarantee that the switch between layers will be seamless. The layer change is invisible on some players, but it can cause the video to freeze for a fraction of a second or as long as 4 seconds on other players. The "seamlessness" depends as much on the way the disc is prepared as on the design of the player. The advantage of two layers is that long movies can use higher data rates for better quality than with a single layer.
There are various ways to recognize dual-layer discs: 1) the gold color, 2) a menu on the disc for selecting the widescreen or fullscreen version, 3) two serial numbers on one side.
The DVD specification requires that players and drives read dual-layer discs. There are very few units that have problems with dual-layer discs--this is a design flaw and should be corrected for free by the manufacturer. Some discs are designed with a "seamless layer change" that technically goes beyond what the DVD spec allows. This causes problems on a few older players.
All players and drives also play double-sided discs if you flip them over. No manufacturer has announced a model that will play both sides, other than a few DVD jukeboxes. The added cost would be hard to justify since discs can hold over 4 hours of video on one side by using two layers. (Early discs used two sides because dual-layer production was not widely supported. This is no longer a problem.) Pioneer LD/DVD players can play both sides of a laserdisc, but not a DVD.
Is DVD-Video a worldwide standard? Does it work with NTSC, PAL, and SECAM?
Video on a DVD is stored in digital format, but it's formatted for one of two mutually incompatible television systems: 525/60 (NTSC) or 625/50 (PAL/SECAM). Therefore, there are two kinds of DVDs: "NTSC DVDs" and "PAL DVDs." Some players only play NTSC discs, others play PAL and NTSC discs. Discs are also coded for different regions of the world . NTSC is the TV format used in Canada, Japan, Mexico, Philippines, Taiwan, United States, and other countries. PAL is the TV format used in most of Europe, most of Africa, China, India, Australia, New Zealand, Israel, North Korea, and other countries. (See the chart at www.remoteviewing.com for a complete list.)
Almost all DVD players sold in PAL countries play both kinds of discs. These multi-standard players partially convert NTSC to a 60-Hz PAL (4.43 NTSC) signal. The player uses the PAL 4.43-MHz color subcarrier encoding format but keeps the 525/60 NTSC scanning rate. Most modern PAL TVs can handle this "pseudo-PAL" signal. A few multi-standard PAL players output true 3.58 NTSC from NTSC discs, which requires an NTSC TV or a multi-standard TV. Some players have a switch to choose 60-Hz PAL or true NTSC output when playing NTSC discs. There are a few standards-converting PAL players that convert from an NTSC disc to standard PAL output for older PAL TVs. Proper "on the fly" standards conversion requires expensive hardware to handle scaling, temporal conversion, and object motion analysis. Because the quality of conversion in DVD players is poor, using 60-Hz PAL output with a compatible TV provides a better picture than converting from NTSC to PAL. (Sound is not affected by video conversion.)
Most NTSC players can't play PAL discs, and most NTSC TVs don't work with PAL video. A very small number of NTSC players (such as Apex and SMC) can convert PAL to NTSC. External converter boxes are also available, such as the Emerson EVC1595 ($350). High-quality converters are available from companies such as TenLab and Snell and Wilcox.
Beware, some standards-converting players can't convert anamorphic widescreen video for 4:3 displays
The latest software tools such as Adobe After Effects and Canopus ProCoder do quite a good job of converting between PAL and NTSC at low cost, but they are only appropriate for the production environment (converting the video before it is encoded and put on the DVD). See Snell and Wilcox's The Engineer's Guide to Standards Conversion and The Engineer's Guide to Motion Compensation for technical details of conversion.
There are three differences between discs intended for playback on different TV systems: picture dimensions and pixel aspect ratio (720x480 vs. 720x576), display frame rate (29.97 vs. 25), and surround audio options (Dolby Digital vs. MPEG audio). Video from film is usually encoded at 24 frames/sec but is preformatted for one of the two required display rates. Movies formatted for PAL display are usually sped up by 4% at playback, so the audio must be adjusted accordingly before being encoded. All PAL DVD players can play Dolby Digital audio tracks, but not all NTSC players can play MPEG audio tracks. PAL and SECAM share the same scanning format, so discs are the same for both systems. The only difference is that SECAM players output the color signal in the format required by SECAM TVs. Note that modern TVs in most SECAM countries can also read PAL signals, so you can use a player that only has PAL output. The only case in which you need a player with SECAM output is for older SECAM-only TVs.
A producer can choose to put 525/60 NTSC video on one side of the disc and 625/50 PAL on the other. Most studios put Dolby Digital audio tracks on their PAL discs instead of MPEG audio tracks.
Because of PAL's higher resolution, the video usually takes more space on the disc than the NTSC version.
There are actually three types of DVD players if you count computers. Most DVD PC software and hardware can play both NTSC and PAL video and both Dolby Digital and MPEG audio. Some PCs can only display the converted video on the computer monitor, but others can output it as a video signal for a TV.
Bottom line: NTSC discs (with Dolby Digital audio) play on over 95% of DVD systems worldwide. PAL discs play on very few players outside of PAL countries.
Good Story
I don't understand. After the last child was born, she told me we had to
cut back on expenses, I had to give up drinking beer.
I was not a big drinker, maybe a 12-pack on weekends. Anyway, I gave it
up, but the other day, when she came home from
shopping and I looked at the receipt and saw $45 in makeup, I said,
"Wait a minute. I've given up beer and you haven't given up anything.
She said, "I buy that makeup so I can look pretty for you."
I told her, "Hell, that's what the beer was for!"
I don't think she'll be back....
cut back on expenses, I had to give up drinking beer.
I was not a big drinker, maybe a 12-pack on weekends. Anyway, I gave it
up, but the other day, when she came home from
shopping and I looked at the receipt and saw $45 in makeup, I said,
"Wait a minute. I've given up beer and you haven't given up anything.
She said, "I buy that makeup so I can look pretty for you."
I told her, "Hell, that's what the beer was for!"
I don't think she'll be back....
Lovely Nick Names
Santa was invited to Banta's home for dinner, where he noticed that his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms, calling her Jalebi, Honey, Pyaari, Darling, Sweetheart etc.
He was impressed, since the couple had been married almost 40 years. While the wife was in the kitchen, Santa said, "I think it's wonderful that after all these years, you still call bhabhiji those pet names."
Banta hung his head. "To tell you the truth, I forgot her name about 10 years ago."
He was impressed, since the couple had been married almost 40 years. While the wife was in the kitchen, Santa said, "I think it's wonderful that after all these years, you still call bhabhiji those pet names."
Banta hung his head. "To tell you the truth, I forgot her name about 10 years ago."
Right Person for Right Job
Put about 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an open window.Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room and close the door.Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours and then analyze the situation. . . .
If they are counting the bricks.
Put them in the accounts department.
If they are recounting them..
Put them in auditing.
If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks.
Put them in engineering.
If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order.
Put them in planning.
If they are throwing the bricks at each other.
Put them in operations.
If they are sleeping.
Put them in security.
If they have broken the bricks into pieces.
Put them in information technology.
If they are sitting idle.
Put them in human resources.
If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a brick has been moved.
Put them in sales.
If they have already left for the day.
Put them in marketing.
If they are staring out of the window.
Put them on strategic planning.
And then last but not least . . . .
if they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been moved.
Congratulate them and put them in top management.
If they are counting the bricks.
Put them in the accounts department.
If they are recounting them..
Put them in auditing.
If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks.
Put them in engineering.
If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order.
Put them in planning.
If they are throwing the bricks at each other.
Put them in operations.
If they are sleeping.
Put them in security.
If they have broken the bricks into pieces.
Put them in information technology.
If they are sitting idle.
Put them in human resources.
If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a brick has been moved.
Put them in sales.
If they have already left for the day.
Put them in marketing.
If they are staring out of the window.
Put them on strategic planning.
And then last but not least . . . .
if they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been moved.
Congratulate them and put them in top management.
Hard of Hearing
An elderly couple was driving across the country. While the woman was behind the wheel, the couple was pulled over by the highway patrol.
"Ma'am, did you know you were speeding?" the officer said.
The woman, hard of hearing, turned to her husband and asked, "What did he say?"
"He said you were speeding!" the old man yelled.
The patrolman then asked, "May I see your license?"
The woman turned to her husband again, "What did he say?"
The old man yelled back, "He wants to see your license!"
The woman then gave the officer her license.
"I see you are from Arkansas," the patrolman said. "I spent some time there once and went on a blind date with the ugliest woman I've ever seen."
The woman turned to her husband again and asked, "What did he say?"
The old man replied, "He said he knows you"
"Ma'am, did you know you were speeding?" the officer said.
The woman, hard of hearing, turned to her husband and asked, "What did he say?"
"He said you were speeding!" the old man yelled.
The patrolman then asked, "May I see your license?"
The woman turned to her husband again, "What did he say?"
The old man yelled back, "He wants to see your license!"
The woman then gave the officer her license.
"I see you are from Arkansas," the patrolman said. "I spent some time there once and went on a blind date with the ugliest woman I've ever seen."
The woman turned to her husband again and asked, "What did he say?"
The old man replied, "He said he knows you"
Sunday, May 07, 2006
About DVD - IV
What are "regional codes," "country codes," or "zone locks"?
Motion picture studios want to control the home release of movies in different countries because theater releases aren't simultaneous (a movie may come out on video in the U.S. when it's just hitting screens in Europe). Also, studios sell distribution rights to different foreign distributors and would like to guarantee an exclusive market. Therefore they required that the DVD standard include codes to prevent playback of certain discs in certain geographical regions. Each player is given a code for the region in which it's sold. The player will refuse to play discs that are not coded for its region. This means that a disc bought in one country may not play on a player bought in another country. Some people believe that region codes are an illegal restraint of trade, but no legal cases have established this.
Regional codes are entirely optional for the maker of a disc. Discs without region locks will play on any player in any country. It's not an encryption system, it's just one byte of information on the disc that the player checks. Some studios originally announced that only their new releases would have regional codes, but so far almost all Hollywood releases play in only one region. Region codes are a permanent part of the disc, they won't "unlock" after a period of time. Region codes don't apply to DVD-Audio, DVD-ROM, or recordable DVD (see below for more detail).
Seven regions (also called locales or zones) have been defined, and each one is assigned a number. Players and discs are often identified by their region number superimposed on a world globe. If a disc plays in more than one region it will have more than one number on the globe.
1: U.S., Canada, U.S. Territories
2: Japan, Europe, South Africa, and Middle East (including Egypt)
3: Southeast Asia and East Asia (including Hong Kong)
4: Australia, New Zealand, Pacific Islands, Central America, Mexico, South America, and the Caribbean
5: Eastern Europe (Former Soviet Union), Indian subcontinent, Africa, North Korea, and Mongolia
6: China
7: Reserved
8: Special international venues (airplanes, cruise ships, etc.)
(See the map at <>.)
Technically there is no such thing as a region zero disc or a region zero player. There is such thing as an all-region disc. There are also all-region players. Some players can be "hacked" using special command sequences from the remote control to switch regions or play all regions. Some players can be physically modified ("chipped") to play discs regardless of the regional codes on the disc. This usually voids the warranty, but is not illegal in most countries (since the only thing that requires player manufacturers to region-code their players is the CSS license; Many retailers, especially outside North America, sell players that have already been modified for multiple regions, or in some cases they simply provide instructions on how to access the "secret" region change features already built into the player. As an interesting side note, on Feb. 7, 2001, NASA sent two multiregion DVD players to the International Space Station.
Extensive information about modifying players and buying region-free players can be found on the Internet.
In addition to region codes, there are also differences in discs for NTSC and PAL TV systems .
Some discs from Fox, Buena Vista/Touchstone/Miramax, MGM/Universal, Polygram, and Columbia TriStar contain program code that checks for the proper region setting in the player. (There's Something About Mary and Psycho are examples.) In late 2000, Warner Bros. began using the same active region code checking that other studios had been using for over a year. They called it "region code enhancement" (RCE, also known as REA), and it received much publicity. RCE was first added to discs such as The Patriot and Charlie's Angels. "Smart discs" with active region checking won't play on code-free players that are set for all regions (FFh), but they can be played on manual code-switchable players that allow you to use the remote control to change the player's region to match the disc. They may not work on auto-switching players that recognize and match the disc region. (It depends on the default region setting of the player. An RCE disc has all its region flags set so that the player doesn't know which one to switch to. The disc queries the player for the region setting and aborts playback if it's the wrong one. A default player setting of region 1 will fool RCE discs from region 1. Playing a region 1 disc for a few seconds sets most auto-switching players to region 1 and thus enables them to play an RCE disc.) When an RCE disc detects the wrong region or an all-region player, it will usually put up a message saying that the player may have been altered and that the disc is not compatible with the player. A serious side effect is that some legitimate players fail the test, such as the Fisher DVDS-1000.
There was much wailing and gnashing of teeth when RCE first appeared, but DVD fans quickly learned that it only affected some players. Makers of player modification kits that didn't work with RCE soon improved their chips to get around it. For every higher wall there is a taller ladder. See DVDTalk's RCE FAQ for more info and workarounds.
In general, region codes don't apply to recordable DVDs. A DVD that you make on a PC with a DVD burner or in a home DVD video recorder will play in all regions (but don't forget NTSC vs. PAL differences, see 1.19). Region codes do not apply to DVD-Audio.
Regional codes apply to game consoles such as PlayStation 2 and Xbox, but only for DVD-Video (movie) discs (see DVDRegionX for region modifications to PS2). PlayStation has a separate regional lockout scheme for games. Regional codes also apply to DVD-ROM computers, but affect only DVD-Video discs, not DVD-ROM discs containing computer software. Computer playback systems check for regional codes before playing movies from a CSS-protected DVD-Video (see 1.11 for CSS info). Newer RPC2 DVD-ROM drives let you change the region code several times. (RPC stands for region protection control.) Once an RPC2 drive has reached the limit of 5 changes it can't be changed again unless the vendor or manufacturer resets the drive. The Drive Info utility can tell you if you have an RPC2 drive (it will say "This drive has region protection"). See 6.4.2 for links to more information about circumventing DVD-ROM region restrictions. Since December 31, 1999, only RPC2 drives have been manufactured.
Is the packaging different from CD?
Manufacturers were worried about customers assuming DVDs would play in their CD player, so they wanted the packaging to be different. Most DVD packages are as wide as a CD jewel box (about 5-5/8") and as tall as a VHS cassette box (about 7-3/8"), as recommended by the Video Software Dealers Association (VSDA). However, no one is being forced to use a larger package size. Some companies use standard jewel cases or paper and vinyl sleeves. Divx discs came in paperboard and plastic Q-Pack cases the same size as a CD jewel case.
Most movies are packaged in the Amaray "keep case," an all-plastic clamshell with clear vinyl pockets for inserts, that's popular among consumers. Time Warner's "snapper," a paperboard case with a plastic lip, is less popular. There's also a "super jewel box," the stretch-limo version of a CD jewel case, that's common in Europe.
Motion picture studios want to control the home release of movies in different countries because theater releases aren't simultaneous (a movie may come out on video in the U.S. when it's just hitting screens in Europe). Also, studios sell distribution rights to different foreign distributors and would like to guarantee an exclusive market. Therefore they required that the DVD standard include codes to prevent playback of certain discs in certain geographical regions. Each player is given a code for the region in which it's sold. The player will refuse to play discs that are not coded for its region. This means that a disc bought in one country may not play on a player bought in another country. Some people believe that region codes are an illegal restraint of trade, but no legal cases have established this.
Regional codes are entirely optional for the maker of a disc. Discs without region locks will play on any player in any country. It's not an encryption system, it's just one byte of information on the disc that the player checks. Some studios originally announced that only their new releases would have regional codes, but so far almost all Hollywood releases play in only one region. Region codes are a permanent part of the disc, they won't "unlock" after a period of time. Region codes don't apply to DVD-Audio, DVD-ROM, or recordable DVD (see below for more detail).
Seven regions (also called locales or zones) have been defined, and each one is assigned a number. Players and discs are often identified by their region number superimposed on a world globe. If a disc plays in more than one region it will have more than one number on the globe.
1: U.S., Canada, U.S. Territories
2: Japan, Europe, South Africa, and Middle East (including Egypt)
3: Southeast Asia and East Asia (including Hong Kong)
4: Australia, New Zealand, Pacific Islands, Central America, Mexico, South America, and the Caribbean
5: Eastern Europe (Former Soviet Union), Indian subcontinent, Africa, North Korea, and Mongolia
6: China
7: Reserved
8: Special international venues (airplanes, cruise ships, etc.)
(See the map at <>.)
Technically there is no such thing as a region zero disc or a region zero player. There is such thing as an all-region disc. There are also all-region players. Some players can be "hacked" using special command sequences from the remote control to switch regions or play all regions. Some players can be physically modified ("chipped") to play discs regardless of the regional codes on the disc. This usually voids the warranty, but is not illegal in most countries (since the only thing that requires player manufacturers to region-code their players is the CSS license; Many retailers, especially outside North America, sell players that have already been modified for multiple regions, or in some cases they simply provide instructions on how to access the "secret" region change features already built into the player. As an interesting side note, on Feb. 7, 2001, NASA sent two multiregion DVD players to the International Space Station.
Extensive information about modifying players and buying region-free players can be found on the Internet.
In addition to region codes, there are also differences in discs for NTSC and PAL TV systems .
Some discs from Fox, Buena Vista/Touchstone/Miramax, MGM/Universal, Polygram, and Columbia TriStar contain program code that checks for the proper region setting in the player. (There's Something About Mary and Psycho are examples.) In late 2000, Warner Bros. began using the same active region code checking that other studios had been using for over a year. They called it "region code enhancement" (RCE, also known as REA), and it received much publicity. RCE was first added to discs such as The Patriot and Charlie's Angels. "Smart discs" with active region checking won't play on code-free players that are set for all regions (FFh), but they can be played on manual code-switchable players that allow you to use the remote control to change the player's region to match the disc. They may not work on auto-switching players that recognize and match the disc region. (It depends on the default region setting of the player. An RCE disc has all its region flags set so that the player doesn't know which one to switch to. The disc queries the player for the region setting and aborts playback if it's the wrong one. A default player setting of region 1 will fool RCE discs from region 1. Playing a region 1 disc for a few seconds sets most auto-switching players to region 1 and thus enables them to play an RCE disc.) When an RCE disc detects the wrong region or an all-region player, it will usually put up a message saying that the player may have been altered and that the disc is not compatible with the player. A serious side effect is that some legitimate players fail the test, such as the Fisher DVDS-1000.
There was much wailing and gnashing of teeth when RCE first appeared, but DVD fans quickly learned that it only affected some players. Makers of player modification kits that didn't work with RCE soon improved their chips to get around it. For every higher wall there is a taller ladder. See DVDTalk's RCE FAQ for more info and workarounds.
In general, region codes don't apply to recordable DVDs. A DVD that you make on a PC with a DVD burner or in a home DVD video recorder will play in all regions (but don't forget NTSC vs. PAL differences, see 1.19). Region codes do not apply to DVD-Audio.
Regional codes apply to game consoles such as PlayStation 2 and Xbox, but only for DVD-Video (movie) discs (see DVDRegionX for region modifications to PS2). PlayStation has a separate regional lockout scheme for games. Regional codes also apply to DVD-ROM computers, but affect only DVD-Video discs, not DVD-ROM discs containing computer software. Computer playback systems check for regional codes before playing movies from a CSS-protected DVD-Video (see 1.11 for CSS info). Newer RPC2 DVD-ROM drives let you change the region code several times. (RPC stands for region protection control.) Once an RPC2 drive has reached the limit of 5 changes it can't be changed again unless the vendor or manufacturer resets the drive. The Drive Info utility can tell you if you have an RPC2 drive (it will say "This drive has region protection"). See 6.4.2 for links to more information about circumventing DVD-ROM region restrictions. Since December 31, 1999, only RPC2 drives have been manufactured.
Is the packaging different from CD?
Manufacturers were worried about customers assuming DVDs would play in their CD player, so they wanted the packaging to be different. Most DVD packages are as wide as a CD jewel box (about 5-5/8") and as tall as a VHS cassette box (about 7-3/8"), as recommended by the Video Software Dealers Association (VSDA). However, no one is being forced to use a larger package size. Some companies use standard jewel cases or paper and vinyl sleeves. Divx discs came in paperboard and plastic Q-Pack cases the same size as a CD jewel case.
Most movies are packaged in the Amaray "keep case," an all-plastic clamshell with clear vinyl pockets for inserts, that's popular among consumers. Time Warner's "snapper," a paperboard case with a plastic lip, is less popular. There's also a "super jewel box," the stretch-limo version of a CD jewel case, that's common in Europe.
Snappy Comeback Lines
"Did you take a bath?"
"Why, Is there one missing?"
"Are you chewing gum?"
"No, I'm John Smith."
"I want to buy a dress to put on around the house."
"Yes, Madam. How large is your house?"
"What are you going to be when you graduate?"
"An old man"
"I spent three years in college taking medicine."
"Are you well now?"
"Do you say a prayer before you eat?"
"No, we don't have to. My mother is a good cook."
"I've got a surprise for you, honey. I brought a friend home for dinner."
"Who wants to eat friends?"
"We are having mother for dinner, darling."
"Make sure she's well done."
"I want some rat poison."
"Should I wrap it up or do you want to eat it right here?"
"It seems that everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other."
"Well, I guess that's why I've got two ears."
"May I hold your hand?"
"No, thanks, It isn't heavy."
"Does water always come through the roof in this place?"
"No, sir, only when it rains."
"When will you straighten out the house, dear?"
"Why? Is it tilted?"
"Do these stairs take you to the second floor?"
"No, you'll have to walk"
"Now that you're married, you should have some insurance"
"But why? My wife isn't dangerous."
"I have changed! my mind."
"Thank heaven! Does it work better now?"
"Would you like your coffee black?"
"What other colors do you have?"
"Why, Is there one missing?"
"Are you chewing gum?"
"No, I'm John Smith."
"I want to buy a dress to put on around the house."
"Yes, Madam. How large is your house?"
"What are you going to be when you graduate?"
"An old man"
"I spent three years in college taking medicine."
"Are you well now?"
"Do you say a prayer before you eat?"
"No, we don't have to. My mother is a good cook."
"I've got a surprise for you, honey. I brought a friend home for dinner."
"Who wants to eat friends?"
"We are having mother for dinner, darling."
"Make sure she's well done."
"I want some rat poison."
"Should I wrap it up or do you want to eat it right here?"
"It seems that everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other."
"Well, I guess that's why I've got two ears."
"May I hold your hand?"
"No, thanks, It isn't heavy."
"Does water always come through the roof in this place?"
"No, sir, only when it rains."
"When will you straighten out the house, dear?"
"Why? Is it tilted?"
"Do these stairs take you to the second floor?"
"No, you'll have to walk"
"Now that you're married, you should have some insurance"
"But why? My wife isn't dangerous."
"I have changed! my mind."
"Thank heaven! Does it work better now?"
"Would you like your coffee black?"
"What other colors do you have?"
Human Resource Lingo
COMPETITIVE SALARY"
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY"
We have no time to train you.
"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE"
We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up.
"MUST BE DEADLINE-ORIENTED"
You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED"
Some time each night and some time each weekend.
"DUTIES WILL VARY"
Anyone in the office can boss you around.
"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL"
We have no quality control.
"CAREER-MINDED"
Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).
"APPLY IN PERSON"
If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.
"NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE"
We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE"
You'll need it to replace three people who just left.
"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST"
You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS"
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS"
Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY"
We have no time to train you.
"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE"
We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up.
"MUST BE DEADLINE-ORIENTED"
You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED"
Some time each night and some time each weekend.
"DUTIES WILL VARY"
Anyone in the office can boss you around.
"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL"
We have no quality control.
"CAREER-MINDED"
Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).
"APPLY IN PERSON"
If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.
"NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE"
We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE"
You'll need it to replace three people who just left.
"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST"
You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS"
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS"
Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it
Smoke Signal
The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him. Every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming. Exhausted, he eventually
managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect himself from the elements, and to store his few possessions. One day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, with smoke rolling up to the sky. He felt the worst had happened, and everything was lost.
He was stunned with disbelief, grief, and anger. He cried out, "God! How could you do this to me?" Early the next day, he was awakened by the sound of a ship approaching the island! It had come to rescue him! "How did you
know I was here?" asked the weary man of his rescuers. "We saw your smoke signal," they replied.
The Moral of This Story:
It's easy to get discouraged when things are going bad,but we shouldn't lose heart
managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect himself from the elements, and to store his few possessions. One day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, with smoke rolling up to the sky. He felt the worst had happened, and everything was lost.
He was stunned with disbelief, grief, and anger. He cried out, "God! How could you do this to me?" Early the next day, he was awakened by the sound of a ship approaching the island! It had come to rescue him! "How did you
know I was here?" asked the weary man of his rescuers. "We saw your smoke signal," they replied.
The Moral of This Story:
It's easy to get discouraged when things are going bad,but we shouldn't lose heart
New Rules For The Office - Effective Immediately!
SICK DAYS:
We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
SURGERY:
Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.
DRESS CODE:
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary, if we see you wearing $350 Prada sneakers & carrying a $600 Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise.
PERSONAL DAYS:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
VACATION DAYS:
All employees will take their vacation at the same time every year. The vacation days are as follows: Jan. 1, May 1 & Dec. 25
BEREAVEMENT LEAVE:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or coworkers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early, provided your share of the work is done enough.
OUT FROM YOUR OWN DEATH:
This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks notice as it is your duty to train your own replacement.
RESTROOM USE:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. In the future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For instance, all employees whose names begin with 'A will go from8 to 8:20, employees whose names begin with 'B' will go from 8:20to 8:40 and so on. If you're unable to go at your allotted time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your turn comes again. In extreme emergencies employees may swap their time with a coworker. Both employees' supervisors in writing must approve this exchange.
LUNCH BREAK:
Skinny people get an hour for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy, normal size people get 30 minutes for lunch to get a balance meal to maintain their average figure. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast & take a diet pill.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience
We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
SURGERY:
Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.
DRESS CODE:
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary, if we see you wearing $350 Prada sneakers & carrying a $600 Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise.
PERSONAL DAYS:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
VACATION DAYS:
All employees will take their vacation at the same time every year. The vacation days are as follows: Jan. 1, May 1 & Dec. 25
BEREAVEMENT LEAVE:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or coworkers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early, provided your share of the work is done enough.
OUT FROM YOUR OWN DEATH:
This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks notice as it is your duty to train your own replacement.
RESTROOM USE:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. In the future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For instance, all employees whose names begin with 'A will go from8 to 8:20, employees whose names begin with 'B' will go from 8:20to 8:40 and so on. If you're unable to go at your allotted time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your turn comes again. In extreme emergencies employees may swap their time with a coworker. Both employees' supervisors in writing must approve this exchange.
LUNCH BREAK:
Skinny people get an hour for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy, normal size people get 30 minutes for lunch to get a balance meal to maintain their average figure. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast & take a diet pill.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience
Thursday, May 04, 2006
About DVD - III
What are the disadvantages of DVD?
· Vagueness of the DVD specification and inadequate testing of players and discs has resulted in incompatibilities. Some movie discs don't function fully (or don't play at all) on some players.
· DVD recorders are more expensive than VCRs.
· DVD has built-in copy protection and regional lockout.
· DVD uses digital compression. Poorly compressed audio or video may be blocky, fuzzy, harsh, or vague.
· The audio downmix process for stereo/Dolby Surround may reduce dynamic range.
· DVD doesn't fully support HDTV.
· Some DVD players and drives can't read CD-Rs.
· Some DVD players and drives can't read recordable DVDs.
· Most DVD players and drives can't read DVD-RAM discs.
· Very few players can play in reverse at normal speed.
· Variations and options such as DVD-Audio, DVD-VR, and DTS audio tracks are not supported by all players.
What DVD players and drives are available?
Some manufacturers originally announced that DVD players would be available as early as the middle of 1996. These predictions were woefully optimistic. Delivery was initially held up for "political" reasons of copy protection demanded by movie studios, but was later delayed by lack of titles. The first players appeared in Japan in November, 1996, followed by U.S. players in March, 1997, with distribution limited to only 7 major cities for the first 6 months. Players slowly trickled in to other regions around the world. Prices for the first players in 1997 were $1000 and up. By the end of 2000, players were available for under $100 at discount retailers. In 2003 players became available for under $50. Six years after the initial launch, close to one thousand models of DVD players were available from over a hundred consumer electronics manufacturers.
Fujitsu supposedly released the first DVD-ROM-equipped computer on Nov. 6 in Japan. Toshiba released a DVD-ROM-equipped computer and a DVD-ROM drive in Japan in early 1997 (moved back from December which was moved back from November). DVD-ROM drives from Toshiba, Pioneer, Panasonic, Hitachi, and Sony began appearing in sample quantities as early as January 1997, but none were available before May. The first PC upgrade kits (a combination of DVD-ROM drive and hardware decoder card) became available from Creative Labs, Hi-Val, and Diamond Multimedia in April and May of 1997.
Today, every major PC manufacturer has models that include DVD-ROM drives. The price difference from the same system with a CD-ROM drive ranges from $30 to $200 (laptops have more expensive drives). Upgrade kits for older computers have been available over the years for $100 to $700 from companies such as Creative Labs, DynaTek, E4 (Elecede), Hi-Val, Leadtek, Margi Systems (for laptops), Media Forte, Pacific Digital, Sigma Designs, Sony, Toshiba, Utobia, and others. For more information about DVDs on computers, including writable DVD drives, .
Note: If you buy a player or drive from outside your country (e.g., a Japanese player for use in the US) you may not be able to play region-locked discs on it.
The first DVD-Audio players were released in Japan by Pioneer in late 1999, but they did not play copy-protected discs. Matsushita (under the Panasonic and Technics labels) first released full-fledged players in July 2000 for $700 to $1,200. DVD-Audio players are now also made by Aiwa, Denon, JVC, Kenwood, Madrigal, Marantz, Nakamichi, Onkyo, Toshiba, Yamaha, and others. Sony released the first SACD players in May 1999 for $5,000. Pioneer's first DVD-Audio players released in late 1999 also played SACD. SACD players are now also made by Accuphase, Aiwa, Denon, Kenwood, Marantz, Philips, Sharp, and others.
· Vagueness of the DVD specification and inadequate testing of players and discs has resulted in incompatibilities. Some movie discs don't function fully (or don't play at all) on some players.
· DVD recorders are more expensive than VCRs.
· DVD has built-in copy protection and regional lockout.
· DVD uses digital compression. Poorly compressed audio or video may be blocky, fuzzy, harsh, or vague.
· The audio downmix process for stereo/Dolby Surround may reduce dynamic range.
· DVD doesn't fully support HDTV.
· Some DVD players and drives can't read CD-Rs.
· Some DVD players and drives can't read recordable DVDs.
· Most DVD players and drives can't read DVD-RAM discs.
· Very few players can play in reverse at normal speed.
· Variations and options such as DVD-Audio, DVD-VR, and DTS audio tracks are not supported by all players.
What DVD players and drives are available?
Some manufacturers originally announced that DVD players would be available as early as the middle of 1996. These predictions were woefully optimistic. Delivery was initially held up for "political" reasons of copy protection demanded by movie studios, but was later delayed by lack of titles. The first players appeared in Japan in November, 1996, followed by U.S. players in March, 1997, with distribution limited to only 7 major cities for the first 6 months. Players slowly trickled in to other regions around the world. Prices for the first players in 1997 were $1000 and up. By the end of 2000, players were available for under $100 at discount retailers. In 2003 players became available for under $50. Six years after the initial launch, close to one thousand models of DVD players were available from over a hundred consumer electronics manufacturers.
Fujitsu supposedly released the first DVD-ROM-equipped computer on Nov. 6 in Japan. Toshiba released a DVD-ROM-equipped computer and a DVD-ROM drive in Japan in early 1997 (moved back from December which was moved back from November). DVD-ROM drives from Toshiba, Pioneer, Panasonic, Hitachi, and Sony began appearing in sample quantities as early as January 1997, but none were available before May. The first PC upgrade kits (a combination of DVD-ROM drive and hardware decoder card) became available from Creative Labs, Hi-Val, and Diamond Multimedia in April and May of 1997.
Today, every major PC manufacturer has models that include DVD-ROM drives. The price difference from the same system with a CD-ROM drive ranges from $30 to $200 (laptops have more expensive drives). Upgrade kits for older computers have been available over the years for $100 to $700 from companies such as Creative Labs, DynaTek, E4 (Elecede), Hi-Val, Leadtek, Margi Systems (for laptops), Media Forte, Pacific Digital, Sigma Designs, Sony, Toshiba, Utobia, and others. For more information about DVDs on computers, including writable DVD drives, .
Note: If you buy a player or drive from outside your country (e.g., a Japanese player for use in the US) you may not be able to play region-locked discs on it.
The first DVD-Audio players were released in Japan by Pioneer in late 1999, but they did not play copy-protected discs. Matsushita (under the Panasonic and Technics labels) first released full-fledged players in July 2000 for $700 to $1,200. DVD-Audio players are now also made by Aiwa, Denon, JVC, Kenwood, Madrigal, Marantz, Nakamichi, Onkyo, Toshiba, Yamaha, and others. Sony released the first SACD players in May 1999 for $5,000. Pioneer's first DVD-Audio players released in late 1999 also played SACD. SACD players are now also made by Accuphase, Aiwa, Denon, Kenwood, Marantz, Philips, Sharp, and others.
Lighter Moments
An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son,
a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anesthesia he asked to speak to his son.
"Yes, Dad, what is it?"*
"Don't be nervous, son; do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me, your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife...."
a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anesthesia he asked to speak to his son.
"Yes, Dad, what is it?"*
"Don't be nervous, son; do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me, your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife...."
How to Make Money
A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.
The old guy pointed his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel.
"I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents.
"The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37."
"And that's how you built an empire?" the boy asked.
"Heavens, no!" the man replied. "Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."
The old guy pointed his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel.
"I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents.
"The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37."
"And that's how you built an empire?" the boy asked.
"Heavens, no!" the man replied. "Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."
Interview Tips
It's a tough job market out there today. And getting the job you want requires more than just a killer resume. In other words, you can't just sell yourself on paper. You also have to be able to do it in person--in a face-to-face job interview.
Here are a few interview tips to help you make a great impression on the person who interviews you.
1 . Market your skills and related experience in the field that you are applying for. Be sure to do it in a way that is positive, but not cocky or aggressive.
2 . Research the company before your interview. It's a great way to know where you would fit into the organization. It also lets the employer know that you really want to be a part of the company.
3 . Prepare answers to common interview questions ahead of time, and practice saying them, so you aren't stumped during the interview.
4 . Dress for success, in the manner you would dress for the position you're seeking.
5 . Bring a list of your own questions with you in a folder with the company's name on it, so that you don't forget them. You should keep your extra resumes in there too.
6 . Be a good listener and focus. Some job seekers talk too much during interviews.
7 . Be prepared to describe your weaknesses as strengths.For example, saying that you are overenthusiastic about performing at your best.
8 . Make eye contact with your interviewer.
9 . Don't volunteer your personal opinions to your interviewer about any subjects unless you are asked.read more at http://online-articles.org/careers-employment/site-map.php
10 . Try to establish a good rapport with your interviewer.Be casual but professional, and most importantly BEYOURSELF! Take the time to implement these interview tips before your next job hunt. It'll give you a leg upon your competition!
Here are a few interview tips to help you make a great impression on the person who interviews you.
1 . Market your skills and related experience in the field that you are applying for. Be sure to do it in a way that is positive, but not cocky or aggressive.
2 . Research the company before your interview. It's a great way to know where you would fit into the organization. It also lets the employer know that you really want to be a part of the company.
3 . Prepare answers to common interview questions ahead of time, and practice saying them, so you aren't stumped during the interview.
4 . Dress for success, in the manner you would dress for the position you're seeking.
5 . Bring a list of your own questions with you in a folder with the company's name on it, so that you don't forget them. You should keep your extra resumes in there too.
6 . Be a good listener and focus. Some job seekers talk too much during interviews.
7 . Be prepared to describe your weaknesses as strengths.For example, saying that you are overenthusiastic about performing at your best.
8 . Make eye contact with your interviewer.
9 . Don't volunteer your personal opinions to your interviewer about any subjects unless you are asked.read more at http://online-articles.org/careers-employment/site-map.php
10 . Try to establish a good rapport with your interviewer.Be casual but professional, and most importantly BEYOURSELF! Take the time to implement these interview tips before your next job hunt. It'll give you a leg upon your competition!
Gonna be a Politician
I remember the story about the old country preacher who had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought along the line Of choosing a profession.
Like many young men, then and now, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do- and he didn't seem overly concerned about it.
One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment.
What he did was, he went into the boy's room and placed on his study table these three objects: a Bible, a silver dollar, and a bottle of whiskey...
"Now then," the old preacher said to himself, "I'll just hide behind the door here, and when my son comes home from school this afternoon, I'll see which of these three objects he picks up. If he picks up the Bible,
he's going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing that would be! If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a businessman, and that would be o.k.too. But if he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a drunkard - a
no-good drunkard and Lord, what a shame that would be."
The old man was anxious as he waited, and soon he heard his son's footsteps as he came in the house whistling and headed back to his room. He deposited his books on the bed, as a matter of routine, and as he turned around to
leave the room he spotted the objects on the table. With a curious set in his eye, he walked over to inspect them.
What he finally did was, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm. He picked up the silver dollar and dropped it into his pocket. He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink...
"Lord have mercy," the old man whispered, "He's gonna be a politician!"
Like many young men, then and now, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do- and he didn't seem overly concerned about it.
One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment.
What he did was, he went into the boy's room and placed on his study table these three objects: a Bible, a silver dollar, and a bottle of whiskey...
"Now then," the old preacher said to himself, "I'll just hide behind the door here, and when my son comes home from school this afternoon, I'll see which of these three objects he picks up. If he picks up the Bible,
he's going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing that would be! If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a businessman, and that would be o.k.too. But if he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a drunkard - a
no-good drunkard and Lord, what a shame that would be."
The old man was anxious as he waited, and soon he heard his son's footsteps as he came in the house whistling and headed back to his room. He deposited his books on the bed, as a matter of routine, and as he turned around to
leave the room he spotted the objects on the table. With a curious set in his eye, he walked over to inspect them.
What he finally did was, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm. He picked up the silver dollar and dropped it into his pocket. He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink...
"Lord have mercy," the old man whispered, "He's gonna be a politician!"
About DVD - II
What are the features of DVD-Video?
· Over 2 hours of high-quality digital video (a double-sided, dual-layer disc can hold about 8 hours of high-quality video, or 30 hours of VHS quality video).
· Support for widescreen movies on standard or widescreen TVs (4:3 and 16:9 aspect ratios).
· Up to 8 tracks of digital audio (for multiple languages, commentaries, etc.), each with as many as 8 channels.
· Up to 32 subtitle/karaoke tracks.
· Automatic seamless branching of video (for multiple story lines or ratings on one disc).
· Up to 9 camera angles (different viewpoints can be selected during playback).
· On-screen menus and simple interactive features (for games, quizzes, etc.).
· Multilingual identifying text for title name, album name, song name, cast, crew, etc.
· Instant rewind and fast forward (no "be kind, rewind" stickers and threats on rental discs)
· Instant search to title, chapter, music track, and timecode.
· Durable (no wear from playing, only from physical damage).
· Not susceptible to magnetic fields. Resistant to heat.
· Compact size (easy to handle, store, and ship; players can be portable; replication is cheaper than tapes or laserdiscs).
· Noncomedogenic.
Note: Most discs do not contain all features (multiple audio/subtitle tracks, seamless branching, parental control, etc.), as each feature must be specially authored. Some discs may not allow searching or skipping.
Most players support a standard set of features:
· Language choice (for automatic selection of video scenes, audio tracks, subtitle tracks, and menus).*
· Special effects playback: freeze, step, slow, fast, and scan.
· Parental lock (for denying playback of discs or scenes with objectionable material).*
· Programmability (playback of selected sections in a desired sequence).
· Random play and repeat play.
· Digital audio output (PCM stereo and Dolby Digital).
· Recognition and output of DTS Digital Surround audio tracks.
· Playback of audio CDs.
* Must be supported by additional content on the disc.
Some players include additional features:
· Component video output (YUV or RGB) for higher quality picture.
· Progressive-scan component output (YUV or RGB) for highest quality analog picture.
· Digital video output (SDI, 1394, or DVI/HDMI) for perfect digital picture.
· Six-channel analog output from internal audio decoder (Dolby Digital, DTS, or MLP).
· Playback of Video CDs or Super Video CDs.
· Playback of MP3 CDs.
· Playback of MP3 DVDs.
· Playback of video files in other formats such as DivX and MPEG-4.
· Playback of Picture CDs and Photo CDs.
· Playback of laserdiscs and CDVs.
· Reverse single frame stepping.
· Reverse play (normal speed).
· RF output (for TVs with no direct video input).
· Multilingual on-screen display.
· Multiple disc capacity.
· Digital zoom (2x or 4x enlargement of a section of the picture). This is a player feature, not a DVD disc feature
What's the quality of DVD-Video?
DVD has the capability to produce near-studio-quality video and better-than-CD-quality audio. DVD is vastly superior to consumer videotape and generally better than laserdisc . However, quality depends on many production factors. As compression experience and technology improves we see increasing quality, but as production costs decrease and DVD authoring software becomes widely available we also see more shoddily produced discs. A few low-budget DVDs even use MPEG-1 encoding (which is no better than VHS) instead of higher-quality MPEG-2.
DVD video is usually encoded from digital studio master tapes to MPEG-2 format. The encoding process uses lossy compression that removes redundant information (such as areas of the picture that don't change) and information that's not readily perceptible by the human eye. The resulting video, especially when it is complex or changing quickly, may sometimes contain visual flaws, depending on the processing quality and amount of compression. At average video data rates of 3.5 to 6 Mbps (million bits/second), compression artifacts may be occasionally noticeable. Higher data rates can result in higher quality, with almost no perceptible difference from the master at rates above 6 Mbps. As MPEG compression technology improves, better quality is being achieved at lower rates.
Video from DVD sometimes contains visible artifacts such as color banding, blurriness, blockiness, fuzzy dots, shimmering, missing detail, and even effects such as a face that "floats" behind the rest of the moving picture. It's important to understand that the term "artifact" refers to anything that is not supposed to be in the picture. Artifacts are sometimes caused by poor MPEG encoding, but artifacts are more often caused by a poorly adjusted TV, bad cables, electrical interference, sloppy digital noise reduction, improper picture enhancement, poor film-to-video transfer, film grain, player faults, disc read errors, and so on. Most DVDs exhibit few visible MPEG compression artifacts on a properly configured system.. If you think otherwise, you are misinterpreting what you see.
Some early DVD demos were not very good, but this is simply an indication of how bad DVD can be if not properly processed and correctly reproduced. In-store demos should be viewed with a grain of salt, since most salespeople are incapable of properly adjusting a television set.
Most TVs have the sharpness set too high for the clarity of DVD. This exaggerates high-frequency video and causes distortion, just as the treble control set too high on a stereo causes the audio to sound harsh. For best quality the sharpness control should be set very low. Brightness should also not be set too high. Some DVD players output video with a black-level setup of 0 IRE (Japanese standard) rather than 7.5 IRE (US standard). On TVs that are not properly adjusted this can cause some blotchiness in dark scenes. There may be an option in the player menu to use standard black level. DVD video has exceptional color fidelity, so muddy or washed-out colors are almost always a problem in the display (or the original source), not in the DVD player or disc.
DVD audio quality is superb. DVD includes the option of PCM (pulse code modulation) digital audio with sampling sizes and rates higher than audio CD. Alternatively, audio for most movies is stored as discrete, multi-channel surround sound using Dolby Digital or DTS audio compression similar to the digital surround sound formats used in theaters. As with video, audio quality depends on how well the processing and encoding was done. In spite of compression, Dolby Digital and DTS can be close to or better than CD quality.
· Over 2 hours of high-quality digital video (a double-sided, dual-layer disc can hold about 8 hours of high-quality video, or 30 hours of VHS quality video).
· Support for widescreen movies on standard or widescreen TVs (4:3 and 16:9 aspect ratios).
· Up to 8 tracks of digital audio (for multiple languages, commentaries, etc.), each with as many as 8 channels.
· Up to 32 subtitle/karaoke tracks.
· Automatic seamless branching of video (for multiple story lines or ratings on one disc).
· Up to 9 camera angles (different viewpoints can be selected during playback).
· On-screen menus and simple interactive features (for games, quizzes, etc.).
· Multilingual identifying text for title name, album name, song name, cast, crew, etc.
· Instant rewind and fast forward (no "be kind, rewind" stickers and threats on rental discs)
· Instant search to title, chapter, music track, and timecode.
· Durable (no wear from playing, only from physical damage).
· Not susceptible to magnetic fields. Resistant to heat.
· Compact size (easy to handle, store, and ship; players can be portable; replication is cheaper than tapes or laserdiscs).
· Noncomedogenic.
Note: Most discs do not contain all features (multiple audio/subtitle tracks, seamless branching, parental control, etc.), as each feature must be specially authored. Some discs may not allow searching or skipping.
Most players support a standard set of features:
· Language choice (for automatic selection of video scenes, audio tracks, subtitle tracks, and menus).*
· Special effects playback: freeze, step, slow, fast, and scan.
· Parental lock (for denying playback of discs or scenes with objectionable material).*
· Programmability (playback of selected sections in a desired sequence).
· Random play and repeat play.
· Digital audio output (PCM stereo and Dolby Digital).
· Recognition and output of DTS Digital Surround audio tracks.
· Playback of audio CDs.
* Must be supported by additional content on the disc.
Some players include additional features:
· Component video output (YUV or RGB) for higher quality picture.
· Progressive-scan component output (YUV or RGB) for highest quality analog picture.
· Digital video output (SDI, 1394, or DVI/HDMI) for perfect digital picture.
· Six-channel analog output from internal audio decoder (Dolby Digital, DTS, or MLP).
· Playback of Video CDs or Super Video CDs.
· Playback of MP3 CDs.
· Playback of MP3 DVDs.
· Playback of video files in other formats such as DivX and MPEG-4.
· Playback of Picture CDs and Photo CDs.
· Playback of laserdiscs and CDVs.
· Reverse single frame stepping.
· Reverse play (normal speed).
· RF output (for TVs with no direct video input).
· Multilingual on-screen display.
· Multiple disc capacity.
· Digital zoom (2x or 4x enlargement of a section of the picture). This is a player feature, not a DVD disc feature
What's the quality of DVD-Video?
DVD has the capability to produce near-studio-quality video and better-than-CD-quality audio. DVD is vastly superior to consumer videotape and generally better than laserdisc . However, quality depends on many production factors. As compression experience and technology improves we see increasing quality, but as production costs decrease and DVD authoring software becomes widely available we also see more shoddily produced discs. A few low-budget DVDs even use MPEG-1 encoding (which is no better than VHS) instead of higher-quality MPEG-2.
DVD video is usually encoded from digital studio master tapes to MPEG-2 format. The encoding process uses lossy compression that removes redundant information (such as areas of the picture that don't change) and information that's not readily perceptible by the human eye. The resulting video, especially when it is complex or changing quickly, may sometimes contain visual flaws, depending on the processing quality and amount of compression. At average video data rates of 3.5 to 6 Mbps (million bits/second), compression artifacts may be occasionally noticeable. Higher data rates can result in higher quality, with almost no perceptible difference from the master at rates above 6 Mbps. As MPEG compression technology improves, better quality is being achieved at lower rates.
Video from DVD sometimes contains visible artifacts such as color banding, blurriness, blockiness, fuzzy dots, shimmering, missing detail, and even effects such as a face that "floats" behind the rest of the moving picture. It's important to understand that the term "artifact" refers to anything that is not supposed to be in the picture. Artifacts are sometimes caused by poor MPEG encoding, but artifacts are more often caused by a poorly adjusted TV, bad cables, electrical interference, sloppy digital noise reduction, improper picture enhancement, poor film-to-video transfer, film grain, player faults, disc read errors, and so on. Most DVDs exhibit few visible MPEG compression artifacts on a properly configured system.. If you think otherwise, you are misinterpreting what you see.
Some early DVD demos were not very good, but this is simply an indication of how bad DVD can be if not properly processed and correctly reproduced. In-store demos should be viewed with a grain of salt, since most salespeople are incapable of properly adjusting a television set.
Most TVs have the sharpness set too high for the clarity of DVD. This exaggerates high-frequency video and causes distortion, just as the treble control set too high on a stereo causes the audio to sound harsh. For best quality the sharpness control should be set very low. Brightness should also not be set too high. Some DVD players output video with a black-level setup of 0 IRE (Japanese standard) rather than 7.5 IRE (US standard). On TVs that are not properly adjusted this can cause some blotchiness in dark scenes. There may be an option in the player menu to use standard black level. DVD video has exceptional color fidelity, so muddy or washed-out colors are almost always a problem in the display (or the original source), not in the DVD player or disc.
DVD audio quality is superb. DVD includes the option of PCM (pulse code modulation) digital audio with sampling sizes and rates higher than audio CD. Alternatively, audio for most movies is stored as discrete, multi-channel surround sound using Dolby Digital or DTS audio compression similar to the digital surround sound formats used in theaters. As with video, audio quality depends on how well the processing and encoding was done. In spite of compression, Dolby Digital and DTS can be close to or better than CD quality.
Do Not forward Mails!!!!!!!
1) I will NOT get bad luck, lose my friends, or lose my mailing lists if I DON'T forward an email!
2) I will NOT hear any music or see a taco dog, if I do forward an e-mail.
3) Bill Gates is NOT going to send me money, Victoria's Secret doesn't know anything about a gift certificate they're supposed to send me.
4) Ford will NOT give me a 50% discount even if I forward my e-mail to more than 50 people!
5) I will NEVER receive gift certificates, coupons, or freebies from Coca Cola, Cracker Barrel, Old Navy, or anyone else if I send an e-mail to 10 people.
6) I will NEVER see a pop-up window if I forward an e-mail ...NEVER-NEVER!!
7) There is NO SUCH THING as an e-mail tracking program, and I am not STUPID enough to think that someone will send me $100 for forwarding an e-mail to 10 or more people!
8) There is NO kid with cancer through the Make-a-Wish program in England collecting anything! He did when he was 7 years old. He is now cancer free and 35 years old and DOESN'T WANT ANY MORE POST CARDS, or GET-WELL CARDS.
9) The government does not have a bill in Congress called 901B (or whatever they named it this week) that, if passed, will enable them to charge us 5 cents for every e-mail we send.
10) There will be NO cool dancing, singing, waving, colorful flowers, characters, or program that I will receive immediately after I forward an e-mail. NONE, ZIP, ZERO,NADA!!
11) The American Red Cross will NOT donate 50 cents to certain individual dying of some never-heard-of disease for every e-mail address I send this to. The American Red Cross RECEIVES donations.
12) And finally, I WILL NOT let others guilt me into sending things by telling me I am not their friend or that I don't
believe in some supernatural results they threaten me with!.
2) I will NOT hear any music or see a taco dog, if I do forward an e-mail.
3) Bill Gates is NOT going to send me money, Victoria's Secret doesn't know anything about a gift certificate they're supposed to send me.
4) Ford will NOT give me a 50% discount even if I forward my e-mail to more than 50 people!
5) I will NEVER receive gift certificates, coupons, or freebies from Coca Cola, Cracker Barrel, Old Navy, or anyone else if I send an e-mail to 10 people.
6) I will NEVER see a pop-up window if I forward an e-mail ...NEVER-NEVER!!
7) There is NO SUCH THING as an e-mail tracking program, and I am not STUPID enough to think that someone will send me $100 for forwarding an e-mail to 10 or more people!
8) There is NO kid with cancer through the Make-a-Wish program in England collecting anything! He did when he was 7 years old. He is now cancer free and 35 years old and DOESN'T WANT ANY MORE POST CARDS, or GET-WELL CARDS.
9) The government does not have a bill in Congress called 901B (or whatever they named it this week) that, if passed, will enable them to charge us 5 cents for every e-mail we send.
10) There will be NO cool dancing, singing, waving, colorful flowers, characters, or program that I will receive immediately after I forward an e-mail. NONE, ZIP, ZERO,NADA!!
11) The American Red Cross will NOT donate 50 cents to certain individual dying of some never-heard-of disease for every e-mail address I send this to. The American Red Cross RECEIVES donations.
12) And finally, I WILL NOT let others guilt me into sending things by telling me I am not their friend or that I don't
believe in some supernatural results they threaten me with!.
Drunk Robbery
A drunk had 14 shots of tequilla. After he decides to go home.
2 minutes later the drunk runs back in the bar. He asks the bartender for the phone, and the drunk calls 911, "Is there a problem, sir," asks the operator. "Yes," replies the drunk replies,"someone broke into my car, they stole the stearing wheel, the brake pedal, the accelerator and even the dashboard."
Minutes later police arrive on the scene.
The drunk goes up to the head officer and says, "nevermind, i got into the backseat by mistake."
2 minutes later the drunk runs back in the bar. He asks the bartender for the phone, and the drunk calls 911, "Is there a problem, sir," asks the operator. "Yes," replies the drunk replies,"someone broke into my car, they stole the stearing wheel, the brake pedal, the accelerator and even the dashboard."
Minutes later police arrive on the scene.
The drunk goes up to the head officer and says, "nevermind, i got into the backseat by mistake."
Statue
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. "Hurry!" she said, "stand in the corner." She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder. "Don't move until I tell you to," she whispered. "Just pretend you're a statue."
"What's this, honey?" the husband inquired as he entered the room. "Oh, it's just a statue," she replied nonchalantly. "The Smiths bought one for their bedroom. I liked it so much, I got one for us too."
No more was said about the statue, not even later that night when they went to sleep. Around two in the morning the husband got out of bed, went to the kitchen and returned a while later with a sandwich and a glass of milk.
"Here," he said to the 'statue', "eat something. I stood like an idiot at the Smiths for three days and nobody offered me as much as a glass of water."
"What's this, honey?" the husband inquired as he entered the room. "Oh, it's just a statue," she replied nonchalantly. "The Smiths bought one for their bedroom. I liked it so much, I got one for us too."
No more was said about the statue, not even later that night when they went to sleep. Around two in the morning the husband got out of bed, went to the kitchen and returned a while later with a sandwich and a glass of milk.
"Here," he said to the 'statue', "eat something. I stood like an idiot at the Smiths for three days and nobody offered me as much as a glass of water."
Time Pass
Its funny when people discuss LOVE MARRIAGE vs ARRANGED.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered
A person who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.
A person, who SURRENDERS when not SURE, is WISE…
A person who surrenders even if he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND!
They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love;
after marriage it is self-defense
Its difficult 2 understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as
women and then he turns them into Wives!?!!!?!
what is the difference between a woman and a magnet?
Magnets have a positive side!
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered
A person who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.
A person, who SURRENDERS when not SURE, is WISE…
A person who surrenders even if he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND!
They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love;
after marriage it is self-defense
Its difficult 2 understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as
women and then he turns them into Wives!?!!!?!
what is the difference between a woman and a magnet?
Magnets have a positive side!
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
About DVD - I
What is DVD?
DVD is the new generation of optical disc storage technology. DVD is essentially a bigger, faster CD that can hold cinema-like video, better-than-CD audio, still photos, and computer data. DVD aims to encompass home entertainment, computers, and business information with a single digital format. It has replaced laserdisc, is well on the way to replacing videotape and video game cartridges, and could eventually replace audio CD and CD-ROM. DVD has widespread support from all major electronics companies, all major computer hardware companies, and all major movie and music studios. With this unprecedented support, DVD became the most successful consumer electronics product of all time in less than three years of its introduction. In 2003, six years after introduction, there were over 250 million DVD playback devices worldwide, counting DVD players, DVD PCs, and DVD game consoles. This was more than half the numbers of VCRs, setting DVD up to become the new standard for video publishing.
It's important to understand the difference between the physical formats (such as DVD-ROM and DVD-R) and the application formats (such as DVD-Video and DVD-Audio). DVD-ROM is the base format that holds data. DVD-Video (often simply called DVD) defines how video programs such as movies are stored on disc and played in a DVD-Video player or a DVD computer (see 4.1). The difference is similar to that between CD-ROM and Audio CD. DVD-ROM includes recordable variations: DVD-R/RW, DVD-RAM, and DVD+R/RW (see 4.3). The application formats include DVD-Video, DVD-Video Recording (DVD-VR), DVD+RW Video Recording (DVD+VR), DVD-Audio Recording (DVD-AR), DVD Stream Recording (DVD-SR), DVD-Audio (DVD-A), and Super Audio CD (SACD). There are also special application formats for game consoles such as Sony PlayStation 2 and Microsoft Xbox.
What do the letters DVD stand for?
All of the following have been proposed as the words behind the letters DVD.
· Delayed, very delayed (referring to the many late releases of DVD formats)
· Diversified, very diversified (referring to the proliferation of recordable formats and other spinoffs)
· Digital venereal disease (referring to piracy and copying of DVDs)
· Dead, very dead (from naysayers who predicted DVD would never take off)
· Digital video disc (the original meaning proposed by some of DVD's creators)
· Digital versatile disc (a meaning later proposed by some of DVD's creators)
· Nothing
And the official answer is? "Nothing." The original acronym came from "digital video disc." Some members of the DVD Forum (see 6.1) tried to express that DVD goes far beyond video by retrofitting the painfully contorted phrase "digital versatile disc," but this has never been officially accepted by the DVD Forum as a whole. The DVD Forum decreed in 1999 that DVD, as an international standard, is simply three letters. After all, how many people ask what VHS stands for? (Guess what, no one agrees on that one either.)
(to be Continued....)
DVD is the new generation of optical disc storage technology. DVD is essentially a bigger, faster CD that can hold cinema-like video, better-than-CD audio, still photos, and computer data. DVD aims to encompass home entertainment, computers, and business information with a single digital format. It has replaced laserdisc, is well on the way to replacing videotape and video game cartridges, and could eventually replace audio CD and CD-ROM. DVD has widespread support from all major electronics companies, all major computer hardware companies, and all major movie and music studios. With this unprecedented support, DVD became the most successful consumer electronics product of all time in less than three years of its introduction. In 2003, six years after introduction, there were over 250 million DVD playback devices worldwide, counting DVD players, DVD PCs, and DVD game consoles. This was more than half the numbers of VCRs, setting DVD up to become the new standard for video publishing.
It's important to understand the difference between the physical formats (such as DVD-ROM and DVD-R) and the application formats (such as DVD-Video and DVD-Audio). DVD-ROM is the base format that holds data. DVD-Video (often simply called DVD) defines how video programs such as movies are stored on disc and played in a DVD-Video player or a DVD computer (see 4.1). The difference is similar to that between CD-ROM and Audio CD. DVD-ROM includes recordable variations: DVD-R/RW, DVD-RAM, and DVD+R/RW (see 4.3). The application formats include DVD-Video, DVD-Video Recording (DVD-VR), DVD+RW Video Recording (DVD+VR), DVD-Audio Recording (DVD-AR), DVD Stream Recording (DVD-SR), DVD-Audio (DVD-A), and Super Audio CD (SACD). There are also special application formats for game consoles such as Sony PlayStation 2 and Microsoft Xbox.
What do the letters DVD stand for?
All of the following have been proposed as the words behind the letters DVD.
· Delayed, very delayed (referring to the many late releases of DVD formats)
· Diversified, very diversified (referring to the proliferation of recordable formats and other spinoffs)
· Digital venereal disease (referring to piracy and copying of DVDs)
· Dead, very dead (from naysayers who predicted DVD would never take off)
· Digital video disc (the original meaning proposed by some of DVD's creators)
· Digital versatile disc (a meaning later proposed by some of DVD's creators)
· Nothing
And the official answer is? "Nothing." The original acronym came from "digital video disc." Some members of the DVD Forum (see 6.1) tried to express that DVD goes far beyond video by retrofitting the painfully contorted phrase "digital versatile disc," but this has never been officially accepted by the DVD Forum as a whole. The DVD Forum decreed in 1999 that DVD, as an international standard, is simply three letters. After all, how many people ask what VHS stands for? (Guess what, no one agrees on that one either.)
(to be Continued....)
Talks too much
Eight-year-old Nina brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good -- mostly As and a couple of Bs. However, her teacher had written across the bottom:
"Nina is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea. I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit."
Nina's dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back:
"Please let me know if your idea works on Nina because I would like to try it out on her mother."
Thanking you in advance.
"Nina is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea. I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit."
Nina's dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back:
"Please let me know if your idea works on Nina because I would like to try it out on her mother."
Thanking you in advance.
Doctor Doctor!!!!!!!!!
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a dog.
Doctor: Sit on the couch and we will talk about it.
But I'm not allowed up on the couch!
Doctor, Doctor You've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands shaking!
Doc: Do you drink a lot?
Not really - I spill most of it!
Doctor, Doctor Have you got something for a bad headache?
Doc: Of course. Just take this hammer and smash yourself in the head.
Then you'll have a bad headache.
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm God!
Doc: When did this start?
Well first I created the sun, then the earth, then the...
Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee!
Doc: Have you ever tried it by taking the spoon out FIRST?
Doctor: Sit on the couch and we will talk about it.
But I'm not allowed up on the couch!
Doctor, Doctor You've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands shaking!
Doc: Do you drink a lot?
Not really - I spill most of it!
Doctor, Doctor Have you got something for a bad headache?
Doc: Of course. Just take this hammer and smash yourself in the head.
Then you'll have a bad headache.
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm God!
Doc: When did this start?
Well first I created the sun, then the earth, then the...
Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee!
Doc: Have you ever tried it by taking the spoon out FIRST?
Successful Sons
Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party. After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room. Those who remained talked about their kids.
The first guy said, "My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder
and now he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday."
The second guy said, "Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, and then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company,where he owns the
majority of its assets. He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday."
The third man said: "Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion."
The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: "What are all the congratulations for?" One of the three said: "We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. ...What about your son?"
The fourth man replied: "My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub."
The three friends said: "What a shame...what a disappointment."
The fourth man replied: "No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him. And he hasn't done too badly either. His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand
new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends."
The first guy said, "My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder
and now he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday."
The second guy said, "Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, and then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company,where he owns the
majority of its assets. He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday."
The third man said: "Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion."
The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: "What are all the congratulations for?" One of the three said: "We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. ...What about your son?"
The fourth man replied: "My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub."
The three friends said: "What a shame...what a disappointment."
The fourth man replied: "No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him. And he hasn't done too badly either. His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand
new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends."
Night Courses
During work, John and William were chatting:
John: William, I've been taking night courses for 5 months now and I have an
exam next week.
William: oh!
John: For example, do you know who is Graham Bell?
William: No
John: He's the inventor of the phone in 1876; if you take night courses you
would know this.
The next day, the same discussion took place:
John: Do you know who is Alexander Dumas?
William: No
John: He's the author of "The 3 Musketeers", if you take night courses, you
would know this.
The next day, once again:
John: And do you know who is Jean Jacques Rousseau?
William: No
John: He's the author of "Confessions", if you take night courses, you would know this.
This time, William got irritated and said: "And you, do you know who is George Hunt?"
John: No
William: He's the guy enjoying with your wife!! If you stop night courses, you would know this!!
John: William, I've been taking night courses for 5 months now and I have an
exam next week.
William: oh!
John: For example, do you know who is Graham Bell?
William: No
John: He's the inventor of the phone in 1876; if you take night courses you
would know this.
The next day, the same discussion took place:
John: Do you know who is Alexander Dumas?
William: No
John: He's the author of "The 3 Musketeers", if you take night courses, you
would know this.
The next day, once again:
John: And do you know who is Jean Jacques Rousseau?
William: No
John: He's the author of "Confessions", if you take night courses, you would know this.
This time, William got irritated and said: "And you, do you know who is George Hunt?"
John: No
William: He's the guy enjoying with your wife!! If you stop night courses, you would know this!!
FABULOUS PIECE OF LEARNING
A mouse looked through the crack in the wall to see the farmer and his wife open a package.
"What food might this contain?" The mouse wondered. He was devastated to discover it was a mousetrap.
Retreating to the farmyard, the mouse proclaimed the warning.
"There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!"
The chicken clucked and scratched, raised her head and said, "Mr. Mouse, I can tell this is a grave concern to you, but it is of no consequence to me. I cannot be bothered by it."
The mouse turned to the pig and told him, "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!"
The pig sympathized, but said, "I am so very sorry, Mr. Mouse, but there is nothing I can do about it but pray. Be assured you are in my prayers."
The mouse turned to the cow and said, "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!"
The cow said, "Wow, Mr. Mouse. I'm sorry for you, but it's no skin off my nose."
So, the mouse returned to the house, head down and dejected, to face the farmer's mousetrap alone.
That very night a sound was heard throughout the house -- like the sound of a mousetrap catching its prey.
The farmer's wife rushed to see what was caught. In the darkness, she did not see it was a venomous snake whose tail the trap had caught.
The snake bit the farmer's wife. The farmer rushed her to the hospital, and she returned home with a fever. Everyone knows you treat a fever with fresh chicken soup, so the farmer took his hatchet to the farmyard for the soup's main ingredient.
But his wife's sickness continued, so friends and neighbors came to sit with her around the clock. To feed them, the farmer butchered the pig.
The farmer's wife did not get well; she died. So many people came for her funeral, the farmer had the cow slaughtered to provide enough meat for all of them.
The mouse looked upon it all from his crack in the wall with great sadness.
So, the next time you hear someone is facing a problem and think it doesn't concern you, remember -- when one of us is threatened, we are all at risk.
We are all involved in this journey called life. We must keep an eye out for one another and make an extra effort to encourage one another.
"What food might this contain?" The mouse wondered. He was devastated to discover it was a mousetrap.
Retreating to the farmyard, the mouse proclaimed the warning.
"There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!"
The chicken clucked and scratched, raised her head and said, "Mr. Mouse, I can tell this is a grave concern to you, but it is of no consequence to me. I cannot be bothered by it."
The mouse turned to the pig and told him, "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!"
The pig sympathized, but said, "I am so very sorry, Mr. Mouse, but there is nothing I can do about it but pray. Be assured you are in my prayers."
The mouse turned to the cow and said, "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!"
The cow said, "Wow, Mr. Mouse. I'm sorry for you, but it's no skin off my nose."
So, the mouse returned to the house, head down and dejected, to face the farmer's mousetrap alone.
That very night a sound was heard throughout the house -- like the sound of a mousetrap catching its prey.
The farmer's wife rushed to see what was caught. In the darkness, she did not see it was a venomous snake whose tail the trap had caught.
The snake bit the farmer's wife. The farmer rushed her to the hospital, and she returned home with a fever. Everyone knows you treat a fever with fresh chicken soup, so the farmer took his hatchet to the farmyard for the soup's main ingredient.
But his wife's sickness continued, so friends and neighbors came to sit with her around the clock. To feed them, the farmer butchered the pig.
The farmer's wife did not get well; she died. So many people came for her funeral, the farmer had the cow slaughtered to provide enough meat for all of them.
The mouse looked upon it all from his crack in the wall with great sadness.
So, the next time you hear someone is facing a problem and think it doesn't concern you, remember -- when one of us is threatened, we are all at risk.
We are all involved in this journey called life. We must keep an eye out for one another and make an extra effort to encourage one another.
Man's 5 most feared questions!
Man's 5 most feared questions!
1. What are you thinking about?
2. Do you love me?
3. Do I look fat?
4. Do you think she is prettier than me?
5. What would you do if I died?
What makes these questions so difficult is that every one is guaranteed to
explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly (i.e. tells the
truth).
Therefore, as a public service, each question is analysed below along with
possible responses.
Question 1: What are you thinking about?
The proper answer to this, of course, is: "I'm sorry if I have been a bit
pensive darling. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful,thoughtful,
caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you."
This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which most
likely is one of the following:
a. Nothing
b. Football
c. Jennifer Lopez
d. How fat you are
e. How would I spend the insurance money if you died
Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, who once
told Peg: "If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be talking to
you."
Question 2: Do you love me?
The proper response is: "YES" or, if you feel a more detailed answer is
necessary: "Yes, dear."
Inappropriate responses include:
a. Oh yeah, sh*t loads
b. Would it make you feel better if I said yes?
c. That depends on what you mean by love
d. Does it matter
e. Who, me?
Question 3: Do I look fat?
The correct answer is an emphatic: "Of course not!!"
Among the incorrect answers are:
a. Compared to what?
b. I wouldn't call you fat, but you're not exactly thin.
c. A little extra weight looks good on you.
d. I've seen fatter.
e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend
the insurance money if you died.
Question 4: Do you think she is prettier than me?
Once again, the proper response is an emphatic: "Of course not!!"
Incorrect responses include:
a. Yes, but you have a better personality
b. Not prettier, but definitely thinner
c. Not as pretty as you when you were her age
d. Define "pretty"
e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend
the insurance money if you died.
Question 5: What would you do if I died?
A definite no-win question. (The real answer of course is "Buy a Ferrari and a
boat".)
No matter how you answer this, be prepared for at least an hour of follow-up
questions, usually along these lines:
WOMAN: Would you get married again?
MAN: Definitely not!
WOMAN: Why not? Don't you like being married?
MAN: Of course I do.
WOMAN: Then why wouldn't you remarry?
MAN: Okay, I'd get married again.
WOMAN: You would? (with a hurt look on her face)
MAN: (makes audible groan)
WOMAN: Would you sleep with her in our bed?
MAN: Where else would we sleep?
WOMAN: Would you put away my pictures and replace them with pictures of her?
MAN: That would seem the proper thing to do.
WOMAN: And would you let her use my golf clubs?
MAN: She can't. She's left-handed.
WOMAN: ...silence...
MAN: Sh*t
1. What are you thinking about?
2. Do you love me?
3. Do I look fat?
4. Do you think she is prettier than me?
5. What would you do if I died?
What makes these questions so difficult is that every one is guaranteed to
explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly (i.e. tells the
truth).
Therefore, as a public service, each question is analysed below along with
possible responses.
Question 1: What are you thinking about?
The proper answer to this, of course, is: "I'm sorry if I have been a bit
pensive darling. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful,thoughtful,
caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you."
This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which most
likely is one of the following:
a. Nothing
b. Football
c. Jennifer Lopez
d. How fat you are
e. How would I spend the insurance money if you died
Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, who once
told Peg: "If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be talking to
you."
Question 2: Do you love me?
The proper response is: "YES" or, if you feel a more detailed answer is
necessary: "Yes, dear."
Inappropriate responses include:
a. Oh yeah, sh*t loads
b. Would it make you feel better if I said yes?
c. That depends on what you mean by love
d. Does it matter
e. Who, me?
Question 3: Do I look fat?
The correct answer is an emphatic: "Of course not!!"
Among the incorrect answers are:
a. Compared to what?
b. I wouldn't call you fat, but you're not exactly thin.
c. A little extra weight looks good on you.
d. I've seen fatter.
e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend
the insurance money if you died.
Question 4: Do you think she is prettier than me?
Once again, the proper response is an emphatic: "Of course not!!"
Incorrect responses include:
a. Yes, but you have a better personality
b. Not prettier, but definitely thinner
c. Not as pretty as you when you were her age
d. Define "pretty"
e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend
the insurance money if you died.
Question 5: What would you do if I died?
A definite no-win question. (The real answer of course is "Buy a Ferrari and a
boat".)
No matter how you answer this, be prepared for at least an hour of follow-up
questions, usually along these lines:
WOMAN: Would you get married again?
MAN: Definitely not!
WOMAN: Why not? Don't you like being married?
MAN: Of course I do.
WOMAN: Then why wouldn't you remarry?
MAN: Okay, I'd get married again.
WOMAN: You would? (with a hurt look on her face)
MAN: (makes audible groan)
WOMAN: Would you sleep with her in our bed?
MAN: Where else would we sleep?
WOMAN: Would you put away my pictures and replace them with pictures of her?
MAN: That would seem the proper thing to do.
WOMAN: And would you let her use my golf clubs?
MAN: She can't. She's left-handed.
WOMAN: ...silence...
MAN: Sh*t
Indeed Touching Story
A certain rich businessman had a beautiful daughter, who fell in love with a guy who was a cleaner.When the girl's father came to know about their love,he did not
like it at all, and so began to protest about it. Now it happened that the two lovers decided to leave their homes for a happy future. The girl's father started searching for the two lovers but could not find them. At last, he accepted their love and asked them to come back home in a local newspaper. Her father said "If you both come back I will allow you to marry the guy you love, I accept that you loved each other truly." So in this way, their love won and they returned home.
The couple went to town to shop for the wedding dress. He was dressed in white shirt that day. While he was crossing the road to the other side to get some drinks for his wife, a car came and hit him and he died on the spot. The girl lost her senses. It was only after some time that she recovered from her shock. The funeral and cremation was the very next day because he had died horribly.
Two nights later, the girl's mother had a dream in which she saw an old lady. The old lady asked her mother to wash the blood stains of the guy from her daughter's dress as soon as possible. But her mother ignored the dream. The next night her father had the same dream, he also ignored it. Then when the girl had the same dream the next night, she woke up in fear and told her mother about the dream. Her mother asked her to wash the clothes which have blood stains immediately.
she washed the stains but some remained. Next night she again had the same dream she again washed the stains but some still remained. Next night she again had the same dream and this time the old lady gave her a last warning to wash the blood stain, or else something terrible will happen. This time the girl tried her best to wash the stains, and the clothes nearly tore, but some stains still remained. She was very tired.
In the late evening the same day while she was alone at home, someone knocked the door. When she opened the door she saw the same old lady of her dream standing at her door. She got very scared and fainted. The old lady woke her up... and gave her a blue object, which shocked the girl. She asked "What is this...?"
The old lady replied..."Try Surf Exel Washing powder... just a dab and it will remove all stubborn stains!!!" .
Sent By: Raghu T
like it at all, and so began to protest about it. Now it happened that the two lovers decided to leave their homes for a happy future. The girl's father started searching for the two lovers but could not find them. At last, he accepted their love and asked them to come back home in a local newspaper. Her father said "If you both come back I will allow you to marry the guy you love, I accept that you loved each other truly." So in this way, their love won and they returned home.
The couple went to town to shop for the wedding dress. He was dressed in white shirt that day. While he was crossing the road to the other side to get some drinks for his wife, a car came and hit him and he died on the spot. The girl lost her senses. It was only after some time that she recovered from her shock. The funeral and cremation was the very next day because he had died horribly.
Two nights later, the girl's mother had a dream in which she saw an old lady. The old lady asked her mother to wash the blood stains of the guy from her daughter's dress as soon as possible. But her mother ignored the dream. The next night her father had the same dream, he also ignored it. Then when the girl had the same dream the next night, she woke up in fear and told her mother about the dream. Her mother asked her to wash the clothes which have blood stains immediately.
she washed the stains but some remained. Next night she again had the same dream she again washed the stains but some still remained. Next night she again had the same dream and this time the old lady gave her a last warning to wash the blood stain, or else something terrible will happen. This time the girl tried her best to wash the stains, and the clothes nearly tore, but some stains still remained. She was very tired.
In the late evening the same day while she was alone at home, someone knocked the door. When she opened the door she saw the same old lady of her dream standing at her door. She got very scared and fainted. The old lady woke her up... and gave her a blue object, which shocked the girl. She asked "What is this...?"
The old lady replied..."Try Surf Exel Washing powder... just a dab and it will remove all stubborn stains!!!" .
Sent By: Raghu T
Boys and Girls
"Equal" is not always synonymous with "the same." Men and women are created equal. But, boys and girls are not born the same.
1. You throw a little girl a ball, and it will hit her in the nose. You throw a little boy a ball, and he will try to
catch it. Then it will hit him in the nose.
2. You dress your little girl in her Easter Sunday best, and she'll look just as pretty when you finally make it to church an hour later. You dress a boy in his Easter Sunday best, and he'll somehow find every mud puddle from your home to the church, even if you're driving there.
3. Boys' rooms are usually messy. Girls' rooms are usually messy, except it's a good smelling mess.
4. A baby girl will pick up a stick and look in wonderment at what nature has made. A baby boy will pick up a stick and turn it into a gun.
5. When girls play with Barbie and Ken dolls, they like to dress them up and play house with them. When boys play with Barbie and Ken dolls, they like to tear off their appendages.
6. Boys couldn't care less if their hair is unruly. If their bangs got cut a quarter-inch too short, girls would rather
lock themselves in their room for two weeks than be seen in public.
7. Baby girls find mommy's makeup and almost instintively start painting their face. Baby boys find mommy's makeup and almost instinctively start painting the walls.
8. If a girl accidently burps, she will be embarrassed. If a boy accidently burps, he will follow it with a dozen fake
belches.
9. Boys grow their fingernails long because because they're too lazy to cut them. Girls grow their fingernails long - not because they look nice - but because they can dig them into a boys arm.
10. Girls are attracted to boys, even at an early age. At an early age, boys are attracted to dirt.
11. By the age of 6, boys will stop giving their dad kisses. By the age of 6, girls will stop giving their dad kisses
unless he bribes them with candy.
12. Most baby girls talk before boys do. Before boys talk, they learn how to make machine-gun noises.
13. Girls will cry if someone dies in a movie. Boys will cry if you turn off the DVD after they've watched "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" movie three times in a row.
14. Girls turn into women. Boys turn into bigger boys.
Sent By: Raghu T
1. You throw a little girl a ball, and it will hit her in the nose. You throw a little boy a ball, and he will try to
catch it. Then it will hit him in the nose.
2. You dress your little girl in her Easter Sunday best, and she'll look just as pretty when you finally make it to church an hour later. You dress a boy in his Easter Sunday best, and he'll somehow find every mud puddle from your home to the church, even if you're driving there.
3. Boys' rooms are usually messy. Girls' rooms are usually messy, except it's a good smelling mess.
4. A baby girl will pick up a stick and look in wonderment at what nature has made. A baby boy will pick up a stick and turn it into a gun.
5. When girls play with Barbie and Ken dolls, they like to dress them up and play house with them. When boys play with Barbie and Ken dolls, they like to tear off their appendages.
6. Boys couldn't care less if their hair is unruly. If their bangs got cut a quarter-inch too short, girls would rather
lock themselves in their room for two weeks than be seen in public.
7. Baby girls find mommy's makeup and almost instintively start painting their face. Baby boys find mommy's makeup and almost instinctively start painting the walls.
8. If a girl accidently burps, she will be embarrassed. If a boy accidently burps, he will follow it with a dozen fake
belches.
9. Boys grow their fingernails long because because they're too lazy to cut them. Girls grow their fingernails long - not because they look nice - but because they can dig them into a boys arm.
10. Girls are attracted to boys, even at an early age. At an early age, boys are attracted to dirt.
11. By the age of 6, boys will stop giving their dad kisses. By the age of 6, girls will stop giving their dad kisses
unless he bribes them with candy.
12. Most baby girls talk before boys do. Before boys talk, they learn how to make machine-gun noises.
13. Girls will cry if someone dies in a movie. Boys will cry if you turn off the DVD after they've watched "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" movie three times in a row.
14. Girls turn into women. Boys turn into bigger boys.
Sent By: Raghu T
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