Banta Singh!!!!!!!!

One Singh was enjoying the sun at the beach in
America. A lady came and
asked him, "Are you relaxing?"

Singh answered, "No, I am Banta Singh."

Another guy came and asked him the same question.
Singh answered, "No!! Me
Banta Singh!"

A third one came and asked him the same question
again. Singh was totally
annoyed and decided to shift his place. While walking
he saw another Singh
soaking in the sun. He went up to him and asked, "Are
you Relaxing?" The
other Singh was a lot more educated and answered,
"Yes, I am relaxing." The
Singh slapped him on his face and said," Stupid,
idiot. Everyone is looking
for you and your are sitting over here!"

**************************************

A Singh died and went to heaven. When he got to the
pearly gate Saint Peter
told him that new rules were in effect due to the
advances in education on
earth. In order to gain admittance a prospective
heavenly soul must answer
two questions:

1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T"

2. How many seconds are there in a year?

The Singh thought for a few! minutes and answered...

1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are
Today and Tomorrow.

2. There are 12 seconds in a year.

Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow
answer, even though
it's not the answer I expected. But how did you get 12
seconds in a year?"
The Singh replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,
March 2nd, April 2nd
etc..."

Saint Peter opened the gate without another word

***************************************

Jasmeet Kaur caught her husband Santa Singh searching
high and low all
around his living room.

Jasmeet: "What are you searching for?"

Santa: "Hidden cameras!"

Jasmeet: "And wh! at makes you think that there are
hidden cameras here?"

Santa: "That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing.
Why every few minutes
he keeps saying, 'You are watching the Star World
channel'. How does he know
that?"

************************************

Three men were stranded on an uninhabited island. One
was Hindu, one a
Muslim, and the other a Singh. The only way back home
was to swim 100 miles
to the next island, which was inhabited.

The Muslim was so determined to get home that he tried
to swim. He made it
50 miles, got tired, and drowned.

Then the Hindu tried. He made it 75 miles, but got
tired and he too drowned.

The Singh thought he could make it all the way, so he
started swimming. He
swam 50 miles, but started getting tired, so he swam
all the way back to the
island.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Having lost his donkey a Singh got down to his knees !
and started thanking
God. A surprised passer-by saw him and asked, "Your
donkey is missing; what
are you thanking God for?"

The Singh replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it
that I wasn't riding
the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been
missing too."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once, a Singh was travelling in a train. He felt
sleepy so he gave the guy
sitting opposite him on the train Rs 20 to wake him up
when the station
arrived. This guy was a barber, and he felt that for
Rs 20, the Sardarji
deserved more service. So, when the Singh fell asleep,
the barber quietly
shaved off his beard.

When the station arrived, the Singh was woken up, and
he went home. Reaching
home, he went to wash his face, and suddenly screamed
when he saw himself in
the mirror.

Said his wife, "What's the matter?"

He replied "The cheat on the train has taken my Rs 20
and woken! up someone
else".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once there was a train, which was going peacefully on
the rail-tracks.
Suddenly the train deviated from the tracks, went into
the fields nearby and
then came back on the tracks. The passengers were
horrified.

At the next railway station the driver was arrested:
He was found to be a
Singh. He was questioned. He explained that there was
a man standing on the
tracks and he was not moving from there even after
blowing the horn,
flashing the lights etc.

The authorities questioned: Mr. Singh, are you mad!
Just to save the life of
one person you put the lives of so many passengers in
danger. You should
have run that person over.

Singh said: That is exactly what I had decided, but
this idiot started
running towards the field when the train got real
close.

###############################


Two Singhs went into a ! pub and after ordering two
beers took some sandwiches
out of their pockets and started to eat them. "You
can't eat your own
sandwiches in here," complained the pub owner. So the
two Singhs swapped
their sandwiches.

############################


Banta Singh finished his English exam and came out.
His friends asked him
how he did his exam, for that he replied "Exam was
okay, but for the past
tense of THINK, I thought, thought, thought and at
last I wrote THUNK!"

********************************



A Singh goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After
eating he goes to wash his
hands but starts washing the basin instead.

The manager comes running and asks him, "Mr. Singh,
what are you doing?"

To this the man replies, "Oye, see the board here,
"Wash Basin".

Fwd By: ALA