Thursday, June 22, 2006

Feeding Time

An old farmer decided to visit a pond in the back of his property that he had not visited in a long time. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing.

As he came closer, he discovered a bunch of young women were skinny dipping in his pond. He politely made the women aware of his presence, and soon they all moved to the deep end of the pond.

One of the women shouted to him, Were not coming out until you leave!

The farmer replied, Oh, don't worry about me. I didnt come down here to see you skinny dipping. Im just here to feed the alligator.

Listen to my Heart

Listen to my heart when it speaks.
Don't criticize my physique.
Talk to me about your day.
Surprise me sometimes with a bouquet.
Speak softly in my ear.
Tell me what I want to hear.
Surprise me with a special date.
Tell me I'm your soulmate.
Confide in me what you believe.
Promise me you'll never leave.

Sales Representative

A young Indian guy from Gujarat (they're called Gujus)) moves to California and goes to a big department shopping complex looking for a job.

The Manager asks: "Do you have any sales experience?"

The Gujju says: "Sir, I was a salesman back home in Surat."

Well, the boss liked the Indian so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did." His first day on the job was rough but he got through it.

After the store was locked up, the boss came down."How many sales did you make today?"

Guju says: "Sir, Just ONE sale."

The boss says: "Just one? No! No! No! You see here our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day." If you want to keep this job, you'd better be doing better than just one sale. By the way, how much was the sale for?"

Guju says: "$ 101,237.64"

Boss says: " $ 101,237.64? What the hell did you sell?"

Guju says: Sir,First I sell him small fishhook. Then I sell him medium fishhook. Then I sell him large fishhook. Then I
sell him new fishing rod and some fishing gear. Then I ask him where he's going fishing and he said down on the coast, so I told him he'll be needing a boat, so we went down to the boating department and I sell him twin engine
Chris Craft.

Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to our automotive department and sell him that 4X4 Blazer. I then ask him where he'll be staying, and since he had no accommodation, I took him to camping department and sell him one of those new igloo 6 sleeper camper tents.

Then the guy said, while we're at it, I should throw in about a $100 worth of groceries and two cases of beer.

The boss said: "You're not serious? A guy came in here to buy a fishhook and you sold him a boat, a 4X4 truck and a tent?"

Gujju says: "No Sir, actually he came in to buy a box of tampons for his wife, and I said: Well, your weekend's stuffed, you might just as well go fishing."

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Blu-Ray Technology - Part VII

Will Blu-ray replace DVDs?

Yes, that's the expectation. The Blu-ray format has received broad support from the major movie studios as a successor to today's DVD format. Seven of the eight major movie studios have already announced titles for Blu-ray, including Warner, Paramount, Fox, Disney, Sony, MGM and Lionsgate. The initial line-up is expected to consist of over 100 titles and include recent hits as well as classics such as Batman Begins, Desperado, Fantastic Four, Fifth Element, Hero, Ice Age, Kill Bill, Lethal Weapon, Mission Impossible, Ocean's Twelve, Pirates of the Caribbean, Reservoir Dogs, Robocop, and The Matrix. Many studios have also announced that they will begin releasing new feature films on Blu-ray Disc day-and-date with DVD, as well as a continuous slate of catalog titles every month.

However, the two formats (Blu-ray and DVD) will most likely co-exist for quite some time until HDTVs become more widespread. For a complete list of the announced movies, please see our Blu-ray Movies section.

Todays Toon




















Fwd By:Mathuram
To Enlarge Image, Click on it

Don't say you're not important

Don't say you're not important,
It simply isn't true,
The fact that you were born,
Is proof, God has a plan for you.
The path may seem unclear right now,
But one day you will see,
That all that came before,
Was truly meant to be,
God wrote the book that is Life,
That's all you need to know.
Each day that you are living,
Was written long ago.
God only writes best sellers,
So be proud of who you are,
Your character is important,
In this book, you are the '* Star*

L/R brain coordination

It's worth a try.

While sitting at your desk make clockwise circles with your right foot.

While doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.

Your foot will change direction.

Its amazing na ..What u think..??

Worms

Little Timmy sat playing! in the garden. When his mother came out to collect him, she saw that he was slowly
eating a worm. She turned pale.

"No, Timmy! Stop! That's horrible! You can't eat worms!" Trying to convince him further, "Now the mother worm is
looking all over for her nice baby-worm."

"No, she isn't," said Timmy.

"Why not?" said the mother.

"Because I ate her first!

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Blu-Ray Technology - Part VI

Will Blu-ray support mandatory managed copy?
Yes, mandatory managed copy (MMC) will be part of the Blu-ray format. This feature will enable consumers to make legal copies of their Blu-ray movies that can be transferred over a home network. Please note that "mandatory" refers to the movies having to offer this capability, while it will be up to each hardware manufacturer to decide if they want to support this feature.

When will I be able to buy Blu-ray products?
If you live in the US, you will most likely have to wait until June 25, 2006 when Samsung will introduce their Blu-ray player (was recently pushed back from May 23, 2006). Pioneer and Sony plan to introduce their respective Blu-ray players in July. While we've heard very little about the launch plans for the European market, we expect it to follow shortly after the US (some products might launch earlier).

What will Blu-ray products cost?
As with any new technology the first generation of products will likely be quite expensive due to low production volumes. However, this shouldn't be a problem for long as there is a wide range of Blu-ray related products (players, recorders, drives, writers, media, etc) planned, which should help drive up production volumes and lower overall production costs. Once mass production of components for Blu-ray products begins the prices are expected to fall quickly.

According to the Blu-ray Disc Association, the overall cost of manufacturing Blu-ray Disc media will in the end be no more expensive than producing a DVD. The reduced injection molding costs (one molding machine instead of two, no birefringence problems) offset the additional cost of applying the cover layer and low cost hard-coat, while the techniques used for applying the recording layer remain the same. As production volumes increase the production costs should fall and eventually be comparable to DVDs.

The Good Wife's Guide














To Enlarge, Click on the image

The Nature of True Love

Let me not to the marriage of true minds Admit impediments.
Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove:

0, no! it is an ever fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.

Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle’s compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.

If this be error, and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

-William Shakespeare

Humor

A blonde walks into a library and says, "Can I have a burger and fries?"
The librarian says, "I'm sorry, this is a library."
So the blonde whispers, "Can I have a burger and fries?"

From a passenger ship, everyone can see a bearded man on a small island who is shouting and desperately waving his hands.
"Who is it?" a passenger asks the captain.
"I've no idea. Every year when we pass, he goes nuts"

Boss: I'll give you 3000 per month and in three months, I'll raise it to 6000. So when would you like to start?
Santa: In 3 months.

Customer: Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea up?
Waiter: I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.

Puzzle Try to Crack it

Once there was a bus conductor, who was very rude to his passengers. One day a beautiful young girl, of around 18 years,tried to board the bus, but he didn't stop the bus.

Unfortunately the beautiful young girl came under the bus and died on the spot. Angry passengers took the conductor to the police station, who in turn took him to the court.

The judge was not at all impressed with him and gave him capital punishment.

He was taken to the electrocution chamber. There was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room. The conductor was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given
to him. But to everyone's amazement, he survived. The judge decided to set him free, and he returned to his profession.

After a few months, this time, a good lo! oking middle aged woman tried to board the bus but the conductor didn't stop the bus. Unfortunately, this time also, the good looking middle aged woman came under the bus
and died on the spot.

Again angry passengers took him to the police station, who in turn took him to the court. The judge took one look at the conductor and gave him capital punishment. The Bus conductor was taken to the same electrocution
chamber where there was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room.


He was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him. This time also to everyone's amazement, he survived. The judge decided to set him free, and he returned to his profession.

A couple of months later, an elderly gentleman tried to board the bus. This time the Bus conductor, remembering his earlier experiences, stopped the b! us. Unfortunately the elderly gentleman slipped and died due to his
injuries. The conductor was taken to the police station and then to the court, to the same judge. Though he hadn't done anything wrong, but considering his past record the judge decided to set an example and gave him capital punishment.


The Bus conductor was again taken to the same electrocution chamber where there was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room. He was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him. This time he died instantly !!!!!!!!!!!

The question is why didn't he die on the first two occasions, but died instantly the third time??

Try to solve it yourselves. This is rather interesting and answer is perfectly logical. If necessary read the puzzle once again.






! Still you couldn't, Then see below.........






think hard











common yaar.............




tired....


wanna know the answer????



ok........ there is the Answer............








During the first two times, the conductor was a Bad Conductor, therefore electricity didn't pass through him. But during the third time, he was a good conductor, so electricity passed through him freely and he died !!!!!!!!

Monday, June 19, 2006

Blu-Ray Technology - Part V

Will Blu-ray discs require a cartridge?
No, the development of new low cost hard-coating technologies has made the cartridge obsolete. Blu-ray will instead rely on hard-coating for protection, which when applied will make the discs even more resistant to scratches and fingerprints than today's DVDs, while still preserving the same look and feel. Blu-ray also adopts a new error correction system which is more robust and efficient than the one used for DVDs.

Will Blu-ray require an Internet connection?
No, you will not need an Internet connection for basic playback of Blu-ray movies. The Internet connection will only be needed for value-added features such as downloading new extras, watching recent movie trailers, web browsing, etc. It will also be required to authorize managed copies of Blu-ray movies that can be transferred over a home network.

Will Blu-ray down-convert analog outputs?
No, Blu-ray players will not down-convert the analog output signal unless the video contains something called an Image Constraint Token (ICT). This feature is not part of the Blu-ray Disc spec, but of the AACS copy-protection system also adopted by HD-DVD. In the end it will be up to each movie studio to decide if they want to use this "feature" on their releases or not. The good news is that Sony, Disney, Fox, Paramount, MGM and Universal have already stated that they have no intention of using this feature. The other studios, which have yet to announce their plans, will most likely follow suit to avoid getting bad publicity. If any of the studios still decide to use ICT they will have to state this on the cover of their movies, so you should have no problem avoiding these titles.

Todays Toon

What is your worth?

A well known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20 bill. In the room of 200, he asked. "Who would like this $20

bill?"

Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you - but first, let me do this."

He proceeded to crumple the 20 dollar note up. He then asked. "Who still wants it?" Still the hands were up in the air.

"Well," he replied, "what if I do this?" He dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe.
He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. "Now, who still wants it?"

Still the hands went into the air.

"My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it
because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20.

Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the
circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless; but no matter what happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value.

Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who love you. The worth of our lives comes,
not in what we do or who we know, but by ...WHO WE ARE.

You are special - don't ever forget it."

Keep Going

Arthur Ashe, the legendary Wimbledon player was dying of AIDS which he got due to infected blood he received during a heart surgery in 1983. From world over, he received letters from his fans, one of which conveyed:
"Why does GOD have to select you for such a bad disease"?

To this Arthur Ashe replied: The world over -- 5 crore children start playing tennis, 50 lakh learn to play tennis, 5 lakh learn professional tennis, 50,000 come to the circuit, 5000 reach the grand slam, 50 reach Wimbledon, 4 to semi final, 2 to the finals, When I was holding a cup I never asked GOD "Why me?".

And today in pain I should not be asking GOD "Why me?"

Happiness keeps u Sweet, Trials keep u Strong, Sorrow keeps u Human, Failure Keeps u Humble, Success keeps u Glowing, But only God Keeps u Going.....

Keep Going.....

Breeding Bull

A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of their first stops was the breeding bull exhibit. They went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said, "This bull mated 50 times last year."

The wife playfully nudged her husband in the ribs and said, "See ... He mated 50 times last year ... once-a-week."

They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, "This bull mated 120 times last year."

The wife gave her husband a healthy jab and said, "That's more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him."

They walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters, "This bull mated 365 times last year."

The wife, so excited that her elbow nearly broke her husband's ribs, said, that's once-a-DAY. You could REALLY learn something from this one."

The husband looked at her and said, "Go over and ask him if it was with the same cow."

NOTE: The husband's condition has been upgraded from critical tostable and the doctors say after months of rehab and a couple moreoperations he will be ok.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Blu-Ray Technology - Part IV

What video codecs will Blu-ray support?
MPEG-2 - enhanced for HD, also used for playback of DVDs and HDTV recordings.
MPEG-4 AVC - part of the MPEG-4 standard also known as H.264 (High Profile and Main Profile).
SMPTE VC-1 - standard based on Microsoft's Windows Media Video (WMV) technology.

Please note that this simply means that all Blu-ray players and recorders will have to support playback of these video codecs, it will still be up to the movie studios to decide which video codec(s) they use for their releases.

What audio codecs will Blu-ray support?
Linear PCM (LPCM) - offers up to 8 channels of uncompressed audio.
Dolby Digital (DD) - format used for DVDs also known as AC3, offers 5.1-channel surround sound.
Dolby Digital Plus (DD+) - extension of DD, offers increased bitrates and 7.1-channel surround sound.
Dolby TrueHD - extension of MLP Lossless, offers lossless encoding of up to 8 channels of audio.
DTS Digital Surround - format used for DVDs, offers 5.1-channel surround sound.
DTS-HD - extension of DTS, offers increased bitrates and up to 8 channels of audio.

Please note that this simply means that all Blu-ray players and recorders will have to support playback of these audio codecs, it will still be up to the movie studios to decide which audio codec(s) they use for their releases.

Todays Toon