Old Pictures of India - II

Lahore 1864

















Hoogly Calcutta 1915












Karachi 1917




















Karachi Theatre 1917














Ford 1917















Chennai Market 1939













Chennai Marina Beach 1913

Old Pictures of India - I

Chennai Library 1913














Bank of madras 1935














Car Showroom Chennai 1913











Andaman 1917





















School Student
















Ambulance 1940




















A Waiter

New Way to Ride the Bike !!!!

Enna Ithu Velai - Kavithai

Fwd By : Lakshmana Perumal

Try this Fun Link

Try this funny link. Drag him if he gets stuck (using the mouse)

http://www.planetdan.net/pics/misc/georgie.htm

Sent by : Lakshmana Perumal

Thoughts

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...
It's about dancing in the rain

Someday someone might come into your life and love you the way you've always
wanted.
If your someday was yesterday, learn.
If your someday is tomorrow, hope.
If your someday is today, cherish

Pappu Again

PAPPU : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?

FATHER : No. Why do you ask that?

PAPPU: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?

Customer Support

CD in drive:
Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just
doesn't work. What am I doing wrong?
Tech support: OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right?
Customer: Yes.
Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using?
Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in the CD
player and all I get is weird noises. Listen!
Tech support: OK, I see Aaaa!
..
..
White comp
Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...
..
..
Disk Out:
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No .. wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's
still on my desk. So......rry....
..
..
Left:
Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
..
..
Printer:
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every
time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and
placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he
can't find it...
..
..
Color:
Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Oh.....h....................thank you.
..
..
On Monitor:
Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.
..
..
Keyboard:
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there
another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work
..
..


Capital 7
Tech support: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a
capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
..
..
Password:
Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
..
..
Anti-virus:
Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
..
..
Screen Saver:
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver
on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
..
..
@:
Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I
get the circle around it?
..
..
Window Software:
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her
printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point.
The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his
printer is working fine."
..
..
Pee for P:
Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at
the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now
type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!
Tech support: Oh........what I am going to do!

FAMILY

A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his
5-year-old son waiting for him at the door...

Son: "Daddy, may I ask you a question"

Daddy: "Yeah sure, what it is?"

Son: "Dad, how much do you make an hour"

Daddy: "That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?" that man said
angrily

Son: "I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an
hour?"

Daddy: "I make Rs. 500 an hour"

"Oh", the little boy replied, with his head down. Looking up, he said,

"Dad, may I please borrow Rs. 300?"

The father was furious, "if the only reason you asked that is so
you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or other nonsense,
then march yourself to your room and go to bed. Think why you are
being so selfish. I work hard everyday for such this childish behavior"

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door. The man
sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's
questions.

How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?

After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to
think:"May be there was something he really needed to buy with that
Rs. 300 and he really didn't ask for money very often!"

The man went to the door of little boy's room and opened the door.
"Are you asleep, son?" He asked.
"No daddy, I'm awake," replied the boy.

"I've been thinking, may be I was too hard on you earlier", said
the man, "It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on
you. Here's the Rs.300 you asked for" The little boy sat straight
up, smiling "oh thank you dad!" He yelled.

Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled some crippled up
notes.The man, seeing that the boy already had money, started to
get angry again.

The little boy slowly counted out his money, then looked up at his
father.
"Why do you want money if you already had some?" the father grumbled.

"Because I didn't have enough, but now I do," the little boy
replied."Daddy I have Rs. 500 now. Can I buy an hour of your time?
Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with
you"

MORAL
It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life.
We should not let time slip through our fingers without having
spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to
our hearts.

If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could
easily replace us in a matter of days. But the fami! ly & friends we
leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives. And
come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than to our
family. An unwise investment indeed!

You know what's the full word of FAMILY?

FAMILY=(F)ATHER (A)ND (M)OTHER (I) (L)OVE (Y)OU.

Shortcut for Control + Alt + Delete

This is cool; if it feels a pain to do CTRL+ALT+DEL every time you want to lock your desktop, then you can do the following to avoid using the above mentioned combination.

1. Right click an empty spot on the desktop, point to New and click Shortcut.

2. In the Create Shortcut dialog box, type the following into the Type the location of the item text box:

"rundll32 user32.dll,LockWorkStation" remove quotes while typing.

3. Click Next.

4. In "Type a name for this shortcut", type "Lock" and Click Finish.

Getting out smile

After nine month's waiting, a married young guy's wife delivered a baby girl
in the hospital.
.
The guy and his friend were in the hospital. At the hospital proud daddy was
looking through the glass window at the newly arrived babies. The nurse had
just guided his eyesight to his baby's crib.
.
The Daddy says, "Ticky, Ticky, too, too. Look, she smiled at me! Isn't she
beautiful?"
.
His friend says, "Yes, but your kid didn't smile."
.
The father replies, "I was talking about the nurse. Not the child!"

The Power of Compounding

If I were to offer you 1 cent to clean my entire house.
Would you do it?

What if I extended that offer into a 31 day contract for which I would
double your pay each day for each of the 31 days.

1...2...4...8 etc. Would you do it now ?

If you turned it down, you would be giving up over 21 million dollars.

Day 1 0.01
Day 2 0.02
Day 3 0.04
Day 4 0.08
Day 5 0.16
Day 6 0.32
Day 7 0.64
Day 8 1.28
Day 9 2.56
Day 10 5.12
Day 11 10.24
Day 12 20.48
Day 13 40.96
Day 14 81.92
Day 15 163.84
Day 16 327.68
Day 17 655.36
Day 18 1310.72
Day 19 2621.44
Day 20 5242.88
Day 21 10485.76
Day 22 20971.52
Day 23 41943.04
Day 24 83886.08
Day 25 167772.16
Day 26 335544.32
Day 27 671088.64
Day 28 1342177.28
Day 29 2684354.56
Day 30 5368709.12
Day 31 10737418.24


Total = $21,474,836.47

Only the wise take on such offers.

Night Bulb Inventor - Thomas A Edison

THOMAS A. EDISON (NIGHT BULB)
Born in 1847 - Died in 1931

Thomas Alva Edison was called Alva, or Al by his family. He was a very
curious child. He was always asking questions. Even his mother, who had once
been a schoolteacher could not answer all his questions. He would experiment
to try to find the answers. Once he tried to hatch some eggs by sitting on
them. Another time he accidently burned down the family's barn.

The teacher told someone that she thought there was something wrong with
Alva; that he was "addled" * . He told his mother and they took him out of
the school. He only went to school for 3 months in his whole life. After
that, he was taught at home.

He wanted to experiment. To make money for his experiments, he went to work
at age 12 selling newspapers and candy on a train. When he had some spare
time on the train, he would do experiments in the baggage car.

When he was 16 he went to work for the telegraph * office sending messages.

He became nearly deaf due to an injury to his ears. He later said he didn't
mind being deaf because it helped him to concentrate.

When he was 22 years old he went to New York. He only had $1 in his pocket.
He hunted for a job during the day, and at night he slept in the basement of
a gold company. He watched everything around him very closely. Some
equipment broke down and Edison was able to fix it because he had been
watching it work before he went to sleep each night. The owners gave him a
job. He improved the machine so much that the company paid him $40,000 for
his invention. He started the American Telegraph Works in New Jersey.

He built a laboratory in Menlo Park, New Jersey. It was here with his
employees that he made many of his inventions. He would work night after
night, and sometimes he would fall asleep at his workbench. His wife
wouldn't see him for days at a time.

He and his team worked to make a light bulb that would burn for a long time
without burning out. They tried 1,500 materials and nothing worked well.
Finally he tried a new material in
the filament * that burned nearly 200 hours.

After he had made the light bulb, he worked to make a power system so that
people could use the bulb. In 1882 he flipped a switch and 85 houses in New
York City had electric lights for the first time.

Thomas Edison was probably the world's greatest inventor. He had a patent on
1,093 inventions. In addition to the electric light, he also invented the
phonograph * , a camera to take motion pictures, a cement mixer, the
automatic * telegraph, and he improved Alexander Graham Bell's telephone.

Farmer vs Lawyer

A Yankee lawyer went duck hunting in eastern North Carolina. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly gentleman asked him what he was doing. The lawyer responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, I'm going into retrieve it."

The old farmer replied. "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the U.S. and, if you don't let me get
that duck, I'll sue you and take everything!
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we do things here in North Carolina.

We settle small disagreements like this with the NC Three-Kick Rule."
The lawyer asked, "What is the NC three-Kick Rule?"
The Farmer replied. "Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on,
back and forth, until someone gives up."

The Yankee attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily
take the old southerner. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the city feller. His first kick
planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the Yankee lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees.
His second kick nearly wiped the man's nose off his face. The barrister was flat on
his belly when the farmer's third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up.

The Yankee lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said,
"Okay, you old redneck southerner, now it's my turn."

The old North Carolina farmer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up. You can have the duck."

New Technology

Life Time Calendar

Life Time Calendar, Download Here

ATM Lists in India

ATM List in India.. You can download now

Modern Mailbox

Sent by : Lakshmana Perumal

Today's Cartoon

Sent by: Lakshmana Perumal

Hospital Lists in India

Hospital Lists in India.. Download here...

Womens Dictionary

Fine
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

Five Minutes
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

Nothing
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something" and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine".

Go Ahead
This is a dare, not permission, DON'T DO IT!

Loud Sigh
Although not actually a word, the loud sigh is often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

That's Okay
This is one of the most dangerous statements that woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

Thanks
This is the least used of all words in the female vocabulary. If a woman is thanking you. Do not question it, just say you're welcome and back out of the room slowly.

Sent by: Lakshmana Perumal

Icecreams

Sent by : Raghu T

Scooter Stand

A guy rides up in a scooter to a theatre and asks another person "Where is the scooter stand?"

The other person replies "Tell me, what is your name?"

"Rajesh", he answered somewhat puzzled.

"What do your parents do?"

"Why? My mother's a doctor and my father's an engineer"

"Are you endowed with property and things like that?"

"Yes", he said more puzzled now, "We in fact have quite a bit of property back in our village"

"What is your qualification?"

"I've done M. Com"

"Look, Mister. You have a good background, both your parents have high qualifications and in fact, you yourself have done M. Com and yet you don't know the simple fact that a scooter stand is fixed to the bottom of the scooter."

Sent by : Thiyaghu R

Check out this Link

Check out this Link

http://s94009834.onlinehome.us/xyz/move.html

Sent by: Raghu T

Software Engineers

There is a good old barber in Miami in US.
One day a florist goes to him for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies: 'I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you;

I am doing a Community Service'. Florist is happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is a Thank You Card and a dozen roses waiting at his door.

A Confectioner goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber he again refuses to
take the money. The Confectioner is happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is a Thank you Card and a dozen Cakes waiting at his door.

A Software Engineer goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber again refuses ! the money saying that it was a community service.

The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, guess what he finds there......
Scroll down for answer...
.
.
.
A Dozen Software engineers waiting for a free haircut... with printouts
of forwarded mail mentioning about free hair cut.

Fwd By : Raghu T

Think Out of the Box

Imagine this...

You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night, it's raining heavily, when suddenly you pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for a bus:
1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
2. An old friend who once saved your life.
3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing very well that
there could only be one passenger in your car?

Think before you continue reading...
.........
.........
......

This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.

* You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first;

* or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect hence to pay him back.

* However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again.

The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble
coming up with his answer.

......
......
.....

He simply answered: "I would give the car keys to my Old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams."

Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations. Never forget to "Think Outside of the Box."
Sent By : Ashok Kumar G

Blood Bank Information

There is a site http://www.indianblooddonors.com
wherein you can search for a particular blood
group. You will get hundreds of donor
addresses within your city. Please pass this on to
everybody you know. We never know when an emergency
will knock our life.
It's about SAVING a Life.

The Tomato: Curing with nature

Tomato is considered both vegetable and fruit but is largely accepted as
vegetable. It is popular all over the world. It contains a lot of nutrients
especially vitamins. It is very tasty and people like to take it in
different forms such as raw, as salad, as juice, soup, sauce, ketchup,
sauce, in curries, in sandwiches etc. It is great source of vitamin A, B and
C. Taking 3-4 ripe tomatoes daily will give sufficient amount of vitamins
required by the body. Some scientists prefer it to orange and grapes. It
contains iron in quantities twice as found in eggs. It speeds up blood
circulation and enriches red blood corpuscles in blood. It provides strength
to heart muscles and bone. It also provides energy. It clears constipation,
and activates the liver. It is digestive, diuretic, carmative and an
apetiser. But persons suffering from kidney stone must not take Tomato.
Taking too much of Tomato seeds may result in the formation of stones. So it
is better to avoid the seeds. A person suffering from cough should also
avoid taking Tomato.

1. For stomach disorder: Cut tomato into pieces, sprinkle salt and pepper
and take it morning and evening for indigestion and for its role as an
appetizer.
2. For constipation: Take tomato juice evenly mixed with spinach juice
before retiring to bed for comfortable bowel movement.
3. For skin disorder: Tomato can be utilised in various form for different
kind of skin problems:
a) Taking Tomato juice 2-3 times regularly purifies blood and cures skin
diseases.
b) Apply pulp of Tomato on face, and leave this for an hour. Then wash it
with warm water. Repeat this daily. You will have a good complexion. It will
also remove ugly looking pimples in a short time.
c) Tomato lotion: Add few drops of lemon juice in 1 teaspoon of Tomato
juice. Apply on face and remove after 15 minutes. It is very effective for
shrinking enlarged pores.
d) Tomato tonic: Add 4 teaspoons of butter milk to 2 teaspoons of Tomato
juice. Apply it and remove it after half an hour. It is excellent in
removing sunburns.
4. Bleeding gums: For strengthening gums and to stop gum bleeding, take
tomato juice regularly.
5. For mouth blister: Gargle morning and evening with Tomato juice to get
rid of blister on lips, tongue and mouth.
6. For eye troubles: Cut tomato into pieces. Mix it with curd and take it
with your meal. it will improve your eye sight.
7. For worms: Taking tomato sprinkled with rock salt destroys worms of
stomach.

Do you want to know the STD Code of all places in India.. Download here

Pictures that Play with your mind

Child Model

Fwd By : ALA

Company Policy

Please Be Advised That There Are NEW RULES And Regulations Implemented To Raise The Efficiency Of Our Firm.

Transportation:

It Is Advised That You Come To Work Driving A Car According To Your Salary.

* If We See You Driving A Honda, We Assume You Are Doing Well Financially And Therefore You Do Not Need A Raise.
* If You Drive A 10 Year Old Car Or Use Public Transportation, We Assume You Must Have Lots Of Savings Therefore You Do Not Need A Raise.
* If You Drive A Pickup, You Are Right Where You Need To Be And Therefore You Do Not Need A Raise.

Annual Leave:

Each Employee Will Receive 52 Annual Leave Days A Year They Are Called Sunday.

Lunch Break

* Skinny People Get 30 Minutes For Lunch As They Need To Eat More So That They Can Look Healthy.
* Normal Size People Get 15 Minutes For Lunch To Get Balanced Meal To Maintain Their Average Figure.
* Fat People Get 5 Minutes For Lunch, Because That's all The Time Needed To Drink A Slim Fast And Take Diet Pill.

Sick Days

We Will No Longer Accept A Doctor Medical Certificate As Proof Of Sickness. If You Are Able To Go To The Doctor, You Are Able To Come To Work.

Toilet Use

Entirely Too Much Time Is Being Spent In The Toilets.

* There Is Now A Strict 3-Minute Time Limit In The Cubicles. At The End Of Three Minutes, An Alarm Will Sound, The Toilet Paper Roll Will Retract, The Door Will Open And A Picture Will Be Taken.
* After Your Second Offence, Your Picture Will Be Posted On The Company Bulletin Board Under The "Chronic Offenders" Category.
* Subsequent Pictures Will Be Sold At public Auctions To Raise Money To Pay Your Salary.

Surgery

As Long As You Are An Employee Here, You Need All Your Organs. You Should Not Consider Removing Anything. We Hired You I! ntact. To Have Something Removed Constitutes A Breach Of Employment.

Internet Usage

All Personal Internet Usage Will Be Recorded And Charges Will Be Deducted From Your Bonus (If Any) And If We Decide Not To Give You Any, Charges Will Be Deducted From Your Salary. (Note: Rs. 1 Per Minute As We Have 4MB connection). Just For The Record. 73% Of The Staff Will Not Be Entitled To Any Salary For The Next 3 Months As Their Internet Charges Have Exceeded Their 3 Months Salary

Fwd By : Ashok Kumar G

Best pic of Taj you could ever see

Fwd By : Somanath R

Chinna Pappu

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?
PAPPU : "HIJKLMNO! "!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
PAPPU : Yesterday you said it's H to O !
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER : PAPPU, go to the map and find North America.
PAPPU : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS : PAPPU!
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER : PAPPU, how do you spell "crocodile"?
PAPPU : "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L" TEACHER : No, that's wrong PAPPU : Maybe
it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER : PAPPU, give me a sentence starting with "I".
PAPPU : I is...
TEACHER : No, PAPPU. Always say, "I am."
PAPPU : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER : "Can anybody give an example of "COINCIDENCE?"
PAPPU : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same
time."
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER : "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry
tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't
punish him?"
PAPPU : "Because George still had the axe in his hand?"
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
PAPPU : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
FATHER : No. Why do you ask that?
PAPPU: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and
one is blue with red spots !
PAPPU: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair just like that at
home.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER : Now, PAPPU, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating ?
PAPPU: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER : PAPPU, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as
your brother's. Did you copy his ?
PAPPU: No, teacher, it's the same dog !
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are
no longer interested?
PAPPU: A teacher
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Fwd By : ALA

Paintings

Fwd By : Arun Selva Guru

MNC Child

Sent by : Ashok Kumar G

Kadi Jokes

person1: oru erumba "cut" panna enna Aagum...
person2: "cuterumbu" aayidum....


nabar 1: Enpa ippadi cigarette pudikkara
nabar 2: Ippadi than pudikanum, thiruppi pudicha naaku suttudum


nabar 1: cigarette pudicha cancer varum
nabar 2: Illaye,nan pudikkum bothu Pogai than vandhudhu


nabar 1: yen cigarette pidikkure
nabar 2: pidikklaiyanna keela vilundudum


Non-smoker: I hate Cigarette
Smoker : Me too, that is why I am burning it out


Person 1 : Unga ponnuku entha vasanai pudikkum ?
Person 2 : Pakkath veetu Srinivasana-i pudikkum


Person1 : What is the opposite of PENGUIN ?
Person2 : AAN KING (!)


Q:Which Bird can lift heavy things ?
A:'Crane'


Q:Which bird can write ?
A:'Pen'guin


Q:Pura(Dove)kittayum, Anil(Squirel) kittaiyaum letter anupicha edhu
correcta poi serum?
A:Anilthan, yenna adhu kittathan Pin Codu Irukku.


A: What is the opposite of MAZHAIMEGAM
B: Mazhai may not come!!


Person 1: What's opposite of Krishnaswamy ?
Person 2: Krishna did not see me!


Person 1: then what's opposite of Krishnaveni?
Person 2: Theriyalaiyea!
Person 1: T.Nagar Bus stand!


Teacher: What is the opposite of Area?
Student: Yeranguya !


MAN 1: "Ponnuku enna vaiasu aavarudhu " ?
MAN 2:"Aadi vandha... 16 mudiyum "
MAN 1:"Appo Aaadama vandha ???? "


Two College students finish their History exam and walk out of the exam hall..
First Student: Vaa Tea saapadalaam ..
Second Student: Ippo Dhaane COPY (...kapi/Coffee..) adicche ..Yedukkuda Tea


Customer: Waiter! Yennai-paa saapad-lei oery ambathu-paisa coins-aa iruku?"
Waiter : "saar neenga thaaney meals-il change vennunnu sonningey !"


What is the similarity between short circuit and poramai?
Wire-eriyarthu


What is the similarity between boxing and goddess kali?
Naak-out


LICoda 14th floorla sandhanam poosi yirukkanga.Yen?
Yenna adhu Mottai maadi.


Oru annanum thangachchiyum oadi varranga. Annan maelmoochu vangaraan. Thangachchi?
Ava Female moochchu vaanguvaaa


LEO coffee a yaen kalyanam pannikka mudiyaadhu?
Yaenna "Manamaana" coffee LEO coffee


Russia-la yen kosu-ve illai?
Yen-na, anga Kosukku vera peyar.


Q:Oru English therinja maadu(cow) theatre pakkam porathu.
Anga theatre kadhavai kadikka arambichuduthu! Yen?
A:Enna, Kadhavula "Pull"-nnu ezhudhirukku.


Q: Spin Bowlarruku pen kuzhandai perandal enna payru vaipar?
A: Bala Tiruppura Sundari


Q:Independence day-kkum Republic day-kkum yenna vidyasam?
A: Sumar, anjara maasam.


Q:Oru maami idli-yai thalaila vechinda. Yen?
A: Yenna idli poo pola irundhudhu.


Q: Napoleankku bayam nna enna ne theriyaadhu.. En??
A: Yenna Napoleankku Tamil theriyadhu.

Fwd By : Arun Selva Guru

Installing Husband

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down
in the performance of flower and jewellry applications that had operated flawlessly
under Boyfriend 5.0

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as
Romance 9.9, but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
I've tried running NAGGING 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Desperate

***************************
[REPLY]

Dear Desperate,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Try to enter the command: C:/I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and install Tears 6.2.

Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications: Guilty3.0 and Flowers 7.0.

But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5,
Happy Hour 7.0, or Television 6.1. Television 6.1 is a very bad program that will
create Loud noises ( WAV files) and does not get deleted.

DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program.
These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
You might consider buying additional software to improve performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Cheerfulness 2.0.

Sent By : Starlin V

what happened to Kenneth?

Hillary Clinton goes to a primary school in Ithaca, New York to talk about the world.

After her talk she offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand, and the Senator asks him what his name is.

"Kenneth." "And what is your question, Kenneth?" "I have three questions:

First - whatever happened to your medical health care plan?

Second - why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office?

And third - whatever happened to all those things you took when you left the White House?"

Just then the bell rings for recess. Hillary Clinton informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess. When they resume Hillary says, "Okay where were we? Oh, that's right, question time. Who has a question?"

A different little boy puts his hand up; Hillary points him out and asks him what his name is.

"Larry."

"And what is your question?"

"I have five questions:

First - whatever happened to your medical health care plan?

Second - why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office?

Third - whatever happened to all those things you took when you left the White House?

Fourth - why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early?

And fifth - what happened to Kenneth?"

Top 100 Cities of the World - ranked by population

NOTE: Numbers shown include population within the recognized metro area of the city, and they include people living in the immediate surrounding area outside of the established border of the city.

1. Tokyo, Japan - 28,025,000
2. Mexico City, Mexico - 18,131,000
3. Mumbai, India - 18,042,000
4. Sáo Paulo, Brazil - 17, 711,000
5. New York City, USA - 16,626,000
6. Shanghai, China - 14,173,000
7. Lagos, Nigeria - 13,488,000
8. Los Angeles, USA - 13,129,000
9. Calcutta, India - 12,900,000
10. Buenos Aires, Argentina - 12,431,000

11. Seóul, South Korea - 12,215,000
12. Beijing, China - 12,033,000
13. Karachi, Pakistan - 11,774,000
14. Delhi, India - 11,680,000
15. Dhaka, Bangladesh - 10,979,000
16. Manila, Philippines - 10,818,000
17. Cairo, Egypt - 10,772,000
18. Õsaka, Japan - 10,609,000
19. Rio de Janeiro, Brazil - 10,556,000
20. Tianjin, China - 10,239,000

21. Jakarta, Indonesia - 9,815,000
22. Paris, France - 9,638,000
23. Istanbul, Turkey - 9,413,000
24. Moscow, Russian Fed. - 9,299,000
25. London, United Kingdom - 7,640,000
26. Lima, Peru - 7,443,000
27. Tehrãn, Iran - 7,380,000
28. Bangkok, Thailand - 7,221,000
29. Chicago, USA - 6,945,000
30. Bogotá, Colombia - 6,834,000

31. Hyderabad, India - 6,833,000
32. Chennai, India - 6,639,000
33. Essen, Germany - 6,559,000
34. Hangzhou, China - 6,389,000
35. Hong Kong, China - 6,097,000
36. Lahore, Pakistan - 6,030,000
37. Shenyang, China - 5,681,000
38. Changchun, China - 5,566,000
39. Bangalore, India - 5,544,000
40. Harbin, China - 5,475,000

41. Chengdu, China - 5,293,000
42. Santiago, Chile - 5,261,000
43. Guangzhou, China - 5,162,000
44. St. Petersburg, Russian Fed. - 5,132,000
45. Kinshasa, DRC - 5,068,000
46. Baghdãd, Iraq - 4,796,000
47. Jinan, China - 4,789,000
48. Wuhan, China - 4,750,000
49. Toronto, Canada - 4,657,000
50. Yangon, Myanmar (Burma) - 4,458,000

51. Alger, Algeria - 4,447,000
52. Philadelphia, USA - 4,398,000
53. Qingdao, China - 4,376,000
54. Milano, Italy - 4,251,000
55. Pusan, South Korea - 4,239,000
56. Belo Horizonte, Brazil - 4,160,000
57. Almadabad, India - 4,154,000
58. Madrid, Spain - 4,072,000
59. San Francisco, USA - 4,051,000
60. Alexandria, Egypt - 3,995,000

61. Washington DC, USA - 3,927,000
62. Houston, USA - 3,918,000
63. Dallas, USA - 3,912,000
64. Guadalajara, Mexico - 3,908,000
65. Chongging, China - 3,896,000
66. Medellin, Colombia - 3,831,000
67. Detroit, USA - 3,785,000
68. Handan, China - 3,763,000
69. Frankfurt, Germany - 3,700,000
70. Porto Alegre, Brazil - 3,699,000

71. Hanoi, Vietnam - 3,678,000
72. Sydney, Australia - 3,665,000
73. Santo Domingo, Dom. Rep. - 3,601,000
74. Singapore, Singapore - 3,587,000
75. Casablanca, Morocco - 3,535,000
76. Katowice, Poland - 3,488,000
77. Pune, India - 3,485,000
78. Bangdung, Indonesia - 3,420,000
79. Monterrey, Mexico - 3,416,000
80. Montréal, Canada - 3,401,000

81. Nagoya, Japan - 3,377,000
82. Nanjing, China - 3,375,000
83. Abidjan, Côte d'Ivoire - 3,359,000
84. Xi'an, China - 3,352,000
85. Berlin, Germany - 3,337,000
86. Riyadh, Saudi Arabia - 3,328,000
87. Recife, Brazil - 3,307,000
88. Dusseldorf, Germany - 3,251,000
89. Ankara, Turkey - 3,190,000
90. Melbourne, Australia - 3,188,000

91. Salvador, Brazil - 3,180,000
92. Dalian, China - 3,153,000
93. Caracas, Venezuela - 3,153,000
94. Adis Abeba, Ethiopia - 3,112,000
95. Athina, Greece - 3,103,000
96. Cape Town, South Africa - 3,092,000
97. Koln, Germany - 3.067,000
98. Maputo, Mozambique - 3,017,000
99. Napoli, Italy - 3,012,000
100. Fortaleza, Brazil - 3,007,000

A Friend

A FRIEND IS LIKE A SHADY TREE,
BESIDE A SUMMER WAY,

A FRIEND IS LIKE SUNSHINE,
THAT MAKES A PERFECT DAY,

A FRIEND IS LIKE A FLOWER,
THAT'S WORN CLOSE TO THE HEART,

A FRIEND IS LIKE TREASURE,
WITH WHICH ONE WILL NEVER PART.

Napoleon Vs Hitler

Napoleon was born in 1760
Hitler was born in 1889 (after 129 years)

Napoleon was elected in 1804
Hitler was elected in 1933 (after 129 years)

Napoleon captured Vienna in 1809
Hitler captured Vienna in 1938 (after 129 years)

Napoleon attacked U.S.S.R in 1812
Hitler attacked U.S.S.R in 1941 (after 129 years)

Napoleon was defeated in 1816
Hitler was defeated in 1945 (after 129 years)

Interesting Short Thoughts

How amazing!! - A mother makes her son "INTELLIGENT"
in 20 years, but a girl makes him "STUPID" in 2 mins.

Arguing with a girl is like wrestling with a pig in
the mud. After some time, u realizes that u r getting
dirty, but the pig is actually enjoying.

Boys go to college to develop the mind; girls go to
college to catch them before this happens.

Lessons in Logic

If your father is a poor man, it is your fate but,
if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity.
......................................................................
I was born intelligent - education ruined me.
......................................................................
Practice makes perfect..... But nobody's perfect...... so why practice?
......................................................................
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
......................................................................
Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak.
......................................................................
How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?
......................................................................
Money is not everything. There's Mastercard & Visa.
......................................................................
One should love animals. They are so tasty.
......................................................................
Behind every successful man, there is a woman And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
......................................................................
Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
......................................................................
The wise never marry. and when they marry they become otherwise.
......................................................................
Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.
......................................................................
Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.
......................................................................
"Your future depends on your dreams". So go to sleep
......................................................................
There should be a better way to start a day. Than waking up every morning
......................................................................
"Hard work never killed anybody". But why take the risk
......................................................................
"Work fascinates me" . I can look at it for hours
......................................................................
God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends.
......................................................................
The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know. So.. why learn.
......................................................................
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station...what more can I say.......

Rearrange

These are exceptionally clever, & whoever put this together must be
deadly at Scrabble too. Wait till you see the last one!

Mother-in-law
When you rearrange the letters:
Woman Hitler

Snooze Alarms
When you rearrange the letters:
Alas! No More Z's

Dormitory
When you rearrange the letters:
Dirty Room

Desperation
When you rearrange the letters:
A Rope Ends It

The Morse Code
When you rearrange the letters:
Here Come Dots

Slot Machines
When you rearrange the letters:
Cash Lost in 'em

Animosity
When you rearrange the letters:
Is No Amity

A Decimal Point
When you rearrange the letters:
I'm a Dot in Place

Eleven plus two
When you rearrange the letters:
Twelve plus one

And for the grand finale:

PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA
It can be rearranged (with no letters left over, and using each
letter only once) into:

Are you sure you're ready for this? OK, wait for it!

TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS

Sardarji Strikes Again

ONE FINE DAY A GIRL PROPOSED TO A SARDAR AND SARDAR DENIED SIMPLY SAYING
THAT IN OUR FAMILY,WE MARRY ONLY OUR RELATIVES. MY MOM MARRIED MY DAD, MY
BROTHER MARRIED MY BHABHI , MY UNCLE MARRIED MY AUNT AND SO ON.
SO PLEASE EXCUSE ME !!!!!
================================================
"Help.... the Titanic is going to be drowned...."

Everybody in the ship is shouting, crying, running or
praying to God... Just then a Italian asks the nearby Sardarji in the ship.
Italian : How far is land, from here ?

Sardarji : Two miles .

Italian : Only two miles? Then why are these fools making noise. I have got
the experience of swimming even more.

The Italian jumps off the ship into the sea and comes up to the surface to
ask something again.

Italian : Just tell me which side, is land two miles from here ?

Sardarji : Downwards ....
*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*
Sardarjee to Sunita: "I want to marry you"
Sunita: "But I am one year elder to you."
Sardarjee: "No Problem, then I will marry you next year."

*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*
Q:) Why does sardarji brings binoculorses in his own
marriage?
A:) To see his far reletavies.
*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*
Two Sardars went into a pub and after ordering two beers took some
sandwiches out of their pockets and started to eat them.

"You can't eat your own sandwiches in here," complained the
pub-owner. So the two sardars swapped (exchanged)
their sandwiches.
*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*

Once upon a time, a Sardarji saw a boy who wore his cap in the back
direction.

This event really harrased the social nature of sardarji and then he also
decided to wear his pagari in the backward
direction . While he was on his way to his office another Sardar
saw him and asked "Sardarji aa rahe ho ke jaa rahe ho"

*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*

A sardar was very fond of sensational and detective novels, but he
always started reading from the middle.

A friend of his asked why he did so?"

It'z doubly interesting", said the Sardar. "TO start
from the middle keeps one curious not only about its conclusion but also
about its beginning
*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*
Once a Sardarji was going to his office. On the way he slipped on a banana
peel and was badly hurt. Next day , on his way to the office, he noticed a
banana peel and exclaimed " sala aaj bhi
phisalna hoga".

Later after two days, he noticed two banana peels and exclaimed" ari sala,
aaj to choice hai"!!!!!!
===================================================
A Sardar died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter
told him that new rules were in effect due to the
advances in education on earth. In order to gain admittance a prospective
heavenly soul must answer two questions:

1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".

2. How many seconds are there in a year?

The Sardar thought for a few minutes and answered...

1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are

Today and Tomorrow.

2. There are 12 seconds in a year.
Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow, even though it's not
the answer I expected, so your answer is correct. But how did you get only
12 seconds in a year?"

The Sardar replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,March 2nd, etc...."

Saint Peter lets him in without another word