Friday, December 30, 2005
Whats Inside???
There was once a small boy who banged a drum all day and loved every moment of it..
He would not be quiet, no matter what anyone else said or did. Various attempts were made to do something about the child. One person told the boy that he would, if he continued to make so much noise, perforate his eardrums.
This reasoning was too advanced for the child, who was neither a scientist nor a scholar.
A second person told him that drum beating was a sacred activity and should be carried out only on special occasions.
The third person offered the neighbours plugs for their ears.
A fourth gave the boy a book.
A fifth gave the neighbours books that described a method of controlling anger through biofeedback.
A sixth person gave the boy meditation exercises to make him placid and docile.
None of these attempts worked.
Eventually,Kanjibhai as a wise person came along with an effective motivation.
He looked at the situation, handed the child a hammer and chisel, and asked, "I wonder what is INSIDE the drum?"
No more problem.
He would not be quiet, no matter what anyone else said or did. Various attempts were made to do something about the child. One person told the boy that he would, if he continued to make so much noise, perforate his eardrums.
This reasoning was too advanced for the child, who was neither a scientist nor a scholar.
A second person told him that drum beating was a sacred activity and should be carried out only on special occasions.
The third person offered the neighbours plugs for their ears.
A fourth gave the boy a book.
A fifth gave the neighbours books that described a method of controlling anger through biofeedback.
A sixth person gave the boy meditation exercises to make him placid and docile.
None of these attempts worked.
Eventually,Kanjibhai as a wise person came along with an effective motivation.
He looked at the situation, handed the child a hammer and chisel, and asked, "I wonder what is INSIDE the drum?"
No more problem.
How Much
"Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be accused of theft. He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knows his way around. What's more, he only speaks a few words of English."
The Judge looked at the defendant and asked, "How much English can you speak?"
The defendant looked up and said, "Give me your wallet!"
The Judge looked at the defendant and asked, "How much English can you speak?"
The defendant looked up and said, "Give me your wallet!"
Kanheri Caves
Here is inside Verticle Panaromic view of Kanheri caves at Sanjay Ghandhi National Park At Borivalli Mumbai.
Total 4 photos were taken with nikon coolpix 5100 digital camera and joined together using Panaroma maker ver 3 software.
Total 4 photos were taken with nikon coolpix 5100 digital camera and joined together using Panaroma maker ver 3 software.
Magic of Maths
1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Engineers - Part Four
Normal people ... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough
features yet."
features yet."
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.
The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.
The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there.
The engineer said, "I like both." "Both?"
Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the office.
Sent By : Raghu T
All about Wives
Every man should get married some time; after all, happiness is not the only thing in life!! --Anonymous
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Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others. --Oscar Wilde
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Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper. --Scottish Proverb
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I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. --Sam Kinison
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A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. --Anonymous
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Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too. --H. L. Mencken
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Men have a better time than women; for one thing, they marry later;for another thing, they die earlier. --H. L. Mencken
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"A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle." - U2
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- Marriage is a three-ring circus:
--engagement ring
---wedding ring
---suffering
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When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why. When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone
wonders why.
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Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back to home always. --Anonymous
----------------------------------------------------------------------
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" She said,"Somewhere I have never been!" I told her,
"How about the kitchen?" --Anonymous
------------------------------------------------------------------
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
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My wife was in beauty saloon for two hours. That was only for the estimate. --Anonymous
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She got a mudpack and looked great for two days.Then the mud fell off. --Anonymous
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She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" Following her down the street I yelled, "No, jump in." --Anonymous
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Badd Teddy recently explained to me why he refuses to get to married. He says "the wedding rings look like minature handcuffs....." --Anonymous
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife yelling at the frontdoor, who do you let in first? The Dog of course...at least he'll shut up after u let him in! --Anonymous
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others. --Oscar Wilde
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper. --Scottish Proverb
----------------------------------------------------------------------
I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. --Sam Kinison
----------------------------------------------------------------------
A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. --Anonymous
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too. --H. L. Mencken
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Men have a better time than women; for one thing, they marry later;for another thing, they die earlier. --H. L. Mencken
----------------------------------------------------------------------
"A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle." - U2
----------------------------------------------------------------------
- Marriage is a three-ring circus:
--engagement ring
---wedding ring
---suffering
---------------------------------------------------------------------
When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why. When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone
wonders why.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back to home always. --Anonymous
----------------------------------------------------------------------
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" She said,"Somewhere I have never been!" I told her,
"How about the kitchen?" --Anonymous
------------------------------------------------------------------
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
My wife was in beauty saloon for two hours. That was only for the estimate. --Anonymous
-------------------------------------------------------------------
She got a mudpack and looked great for two days.Then the mud fell off. --Anonymous
---------------------------------------------------------------------
She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" Following her down the street I yelled, "No, jump in." --Anonymous
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Badd Teddy recently explained to me why he refuses to get to married. He says "the wedding rings look like minature handcuffs....." --Anonymous
---------------------------------------------------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife yelling at the frontdoor, who do you let in first? The Dog of course...at least he'll shut up after u let him in! --Anonymous
One Liners
* Regular Naps Prevent Old Age... Especially If You Take Them While Driving .
* Having One Child Makes You A Parent; Having Two You Are A Referee.
* Marriage Is A Relationship In Which One Person Is Always Right And The Other Is Husband.
* I Believe We Should All Pay Our Tax With A Smile. I Tried - But They Wanted Cash.
* A Child's Greatest Period Of Growth Is The Month After You've Purchased New School Uniforms.
* Don't Feel Bad. A Lot Of People Have No Talent.
* Don't Marry The Person You Want To Live With, Marry The One You Cannot Live Without... But Whatever You Do, You'll Regret It Later.
* You Can't Buy Love . . . But You Pay Heavily For It.
* True Friends Stab You In The Front.
* Forgiveness Is Giving Up My Right To Hate You For Hurting Me.
* Bad Officials Are Elected By Good Citizens Who Do Not Vote.
* Laziness Is Nothing More Than The Habit Of Resting Before You Get Tired.
* My Wife And I Always Compromise. I Admit I'm Wrong And She Agrees With Me.
* Those Who Can't Laugh At Themselves Leave The Job To Others.
* Ladies First. Pretty Ladies Sooner.
* It Doesn't Matter How Often A Married Man Changes His Job, He Still Ends Up With The Same Boss.
* Real Friends Are The Ones Who Survive Transitions Between Address Books.
* Saving Is The Best Thing. Especially When Your Parents Have Done It For You.
* Wise Men Talk Because They Have Something To Say; Fools Talk Because They Have To Say Something.
* They Call Our Language The Mother Tongue Because The Father Seldom Gets To Speak .
* Having One Child Makes You A Parent; Having Two You Are A Referee.
* Marriage Is A Relationship In Which One Person Is Always Right And The Other Is Husband.
* I Believe We Should All Pay Our Tax With A Smile. I Tried - But They Wanted Cash.
* A Child's Greatest Period Of Growth Is The Month After You've Purchased New School Uniforms.
* Don't Feel Bad. A Lot Of People Have No Talent.
* Don't Marry The Person You Want To Live With, Marry The One You Cannot Live Without... But Whatever You Do, You'll Regret It Later.
* You Can't Buy Love . . . But You Pay Heavily For It.
* True Friends Stab You In The Front.
* Forgiveness Is Giving Up My Right To Hate You For Hurting Me.
* Bad Officials Are Elected By Good Citizens Who Do Not Vote.
* Laziness Is Nothing More Than The Habit Of Resting Before You Get Tired.
* My Wife And I Always Compromise. I Admit I'm Wrong And She Agrees With Me.
* Those Who Can't Laugh At Themselves Leave The Job To Others.
* Ladies First. Pretty Ladies Sooner.
* It Doesn't Matter How Often A Married Man Changes His Job, He Still Ends Up With The Same Boss.
* Real Friends Are The Ones Who Survive Transitions Between Address Books.
* Saving Is The Best Thing. Especially When Your Parents Have Done It For You.
* Wise Men Talk Because They Have Something To Say; Fools Talk Because They Have To Say Something.
* They Call Our Language The Mother Tongue Because The Father Seldom Gets To Speak .
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Engineers - Part Three
To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons. Civil Engineers build targets.
Sent By : Raghu T
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons. Civil Engineers build targets.
Sent By : Raghu T
Terrible Car Accident
An American, a Scot and a Canadian were in a terrible car accident. They were all brought to the same emergency room, but all three of them died before they arrived. Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the American, he stirred and opened his eyes.
Astonished, the doctors and nurses present asked him what happened. "Well," said the American, "I remember the crash, and then there was a beautiful light, and then the Canadian and the Scot and I were standing at the gates of heaven.
St. Peter approached us and said that we were all to young to die, and that for a donation of $50, we could return to earth. So of course I pulled out my wallet and gave him the $50, and the next thing I knew I was back here."
"That's amazing!" said the one of the doctors, "But what happened to the other two?"
"Last I saw them," replied the American, "the Scot was haggling over the price and the Canadian was waiting for the government to pay his."
Astonished, the doctors and nurses present asked him what happened. "Well," said the American, "I remember the crash, and then there was a beautiful light, and then the Canadian and the Scot and I were standing at the gates of heaven.
St. Peter approached us and said that we were all to young to die, and that for a donation of $50, we could return to earth. So of course I pulled out my wallet and gave him the $50, and the next thing I knew I was back here."
"That's amazing!" said the one of the doctors, "But what happened to the other two?"
"Last I saw them," replied the American, "the Scot was haggling over the price and the Canadian was waiting for the government to pay his."
He Vs She
HE: I'm a photographer I've been looking for a face like yours!
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours!!
HE: May I have the pleasure of this dance?
SHE: No, I'd like to have some pleasure too!!!
HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must have been given your share!!!
HE: Will you come out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend!!!
HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out!
SHE: Okay, get out!!!
HE: I think I could make you very happy
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?
HE: What would you say if I asked u to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time!!!
HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why, don't you already have one?
HE: Shall we go and see a film?
SHE: I've already seen it!!!
HE: Do you think it was fate that brought us together?
SHE: Nah, it was plain bad luck!!!
HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Hiding from you.
HE: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
SHE: Yes, thats why I don't go there anymore.
HE: Is this seat empty?
SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down .
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours!!
HE: May I have the pleasure of this dance?
SHE: No, I'd like to have some pleasure too!!!
HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must have been given your share!!!
HE: Will you come out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend!!!
HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out!
SHE: Okay, get out!!!
HE: I think I could make you very happy
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?
HE: What would you say if I asked u to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time!!!
HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why, don't you already have one?
HE: Shall we go and see a film?
SHE: I've already seen it!!!
HE: Do you think it was fate that brought us together?
SHE: Nah, it was plain bad luck!!!
HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Hiding from you.
HE: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
SHE: Yes, thats why I don't go there anymore.
HE: Is this seat empty?
SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down .
Types of Girls
HARD-DISK Girls: She remembers everything, FOREVER.
RAM Girls: She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.
WINDOWS Girls: Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.
SCREENSAVER Girls: She is good for nothing but at least she is fun!
INTERNET Girls: Difficult to access.
SERVER Girls: Always busy when you need her.
MULTIMEDIA Girls: She makes horrible things look beautiful.
CD-ROM Girls: She is always faster and faster.
E-MAIL Girls: Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.
VIRUS Girls: Also known as "WIFE"; when you are not expecting her, she comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if you don't try to uninstall her you will lose everything.......
RAM Girls: She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.
WINDOWS Girls: Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.
SCREENSAVER Girls: She is good for nothing but at least she is fun!
INTERNET Girls: Difficult to access.
SERVER Girls: Always busy when you need her.
MULTIMEDIA Girls: She makes horrible things look beautiful.
CD-ROM Girls: She is always faster and faster.
E-MAIL Girls: Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.
VIRUS Girls: Also known as "WIFE"; when you are not expecting her, she comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if you don't try to uninstall her you will lose everything.......
Smart Q and A (Continued...)
1. A farmer has 17 sheep and all but 9 die. How many are left?
Nine.
2. How many times can you subtract the number 5 from 25?
Only once, and then you are subtracting it from 20.
3. How could you rearrange the letters in the words "new door" to make one word? Note: There is only one correct answer.
"One word"
4. Even if they are starving, natives living in the Arctic will never eat a penguin's egg. Why not?
Penguins live in the Antarctic.
5. Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"?
Neither. The yolk of the egg is yellow
6. In Okmulgee, Oklahoma, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?
You have to take a picture of a man with acamera, not with a wooden leg.
7. There were an electrician and a plumber waiting in line for admission to the International Home Show," One of them was the father of the other's son. How could this be possible?
They were husband and wife.
8. A butcher in the butcher shop is 5' 10" tall. What does he weigh?
Meat
Nine.
2. How many times can you subtract the number 5 from 25?
Only once, and then you are subtracting it from 20.
3. How could you rearrange the letters in the words "new door" to make one word? Note: There is only one correct answer.
"One word"
4. Even if they are starving, natives living in the Arctic will never eat a penguin's egg. Why not?
Penguins live in the Antarctic.
5. Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"?
Neither. The yolk of the egg is yellow
6. In Okmulgee, Oklahoma, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?
You have to take a picture of a man with acamera, not with a wooden leg.
7. There were an electrician and a plumber waiting in line for admission to the International Home Show," One of them was the father of the other's son. How could this be possible?
They were husband and wife.
8. A butcher in the butcher shop is 5' 10" tall. What does he weigh?
Meat
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Little Lalooo
Little Lalloo was eating breakfast one morning and got to thinking about things. 'Mommy, mommy, why has daddy got so few hairs on his head?' he asked his mother.
'He thinks a lot,' replied his mother, pleased with herself for coming up with a good answer to her husband's baldness.
Or she was until little Lalloo thought for a second and asked, 'So why do you have so much hair?'
'He thinks a lot,' replied his mother, pleased with herself for coming up with a good answer to her husband's baldness.
Or she was until little Lalloo thought for a second and asked, 'So why do you have so much hair?'
Smart Q and A
1. The maker doesn't want it; the buyer doesn't use it; and the user doesn't see it. What is it?
A coffin.
2. A child is born in Boston, Massachusetts to parents who were both born in Boston, Massachusetts. The child is not a United States citizen. How is this possible?
The child was born before 1776.
3. Before Mount Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain on Earth?
Mount Everest (it just hadn't been discovered).
4. Clara Clatter was born on December 27th, yet her birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible?
Clara lives in the southern hemisphere.
5. Captain Frank and some of the boys were exchanging old war stories. Art Bragg offered one about how his grandfather led a battalion against a German division during World War I. Through brilliant maneuvers, he defeated them and captured valuable territory. After the battle he was presented with a sword bearing the inscription "To Captain Bragg for Bravery, Daring and Leadership. World War I. From the Men of Battalion "Captain Frank looked at Art and said, "You really don't expect anyone to believe that yarn, do you?" What's wrong with the story?
World War I wasn't called "World War I" untilWorld War II.
6. What is one thing that all wise men, regardless of their religion or politics, agree is between heaven and earth?
The word "and".
7. In what year did Christmas and New Year's fall in the same year?
They fall in the same year every year. New Year'sDay just arrives very early in the year andChristmas arrives very late in the same year.
8. Why are 1990 American dollar bills worth more than 1989 American dollar bills?
One thousand nine hundred and ninety dollar billsare worth one dollar more than one thousand ninehundred and eighty-nine dollar bills..
(to be Continued..)
A coffin.
2. A child is born in Boston, Massachusetts to parents who were both born in Boston, Massachusetts. The child is not a United States citizen. How is this possible?
The child was born before 1776.
3. Before Mount Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain on Earth?
Mount Everest (it just hadn't been discovered).
4. Clara Clatter was born on December 27th, yet her birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible?
Clara lives in the southern hemisphere.
5. Captain Frank and some of the boys were exchanging old war stories. Art Bragg offered one about how his grandfather led a battalion against a German division during World War I. Through brilliant maneuvers, he defeated them and captured valuable territory. After the battle he was presented with a sword bearing the inscription "To Captain Bragg for Bravery, Daring and Leadership. World War I. From the Men of Battalion "Captain Frank looked at Art and said, "You really don't expect anyone to believe that yarn, do you?" What's wrong with the story?
World War I wasn't called "World War I" untilWorld War II.
6. What is one thing that all wise men, regardless of their religion or politics, agree is between heaven and earth?
The word "and".
7. In what year did Christmas and New Year's fall in the same year?
They fall in the same year every year. New Year'sDay just arrives very early in the year andChristmas arrives very late in the same year.
8. Why are 1990 American dollar bills worth more than 1989 American dollar bills?
One thousand nine hundred and ninety dollar billsare worth one dollar more than one thousand ninehundred and eighty-nine dollar bills..
(to be Continued..)
Make a Difference
A man was walking down the beach at sunset. As, he walked along, he saw another man in the distance. He noticed this man kept leaning down, picking up something and throwing it out into the water, again and again.
As, he approached even closer, he noticed that the man was picking up starfish that had been washed up on the beach. He was throwing them back into the water, one by one. Puzzled, he approached the man and said, "Good Evening. I was wondering what you are doing."
"I'm throwing these starfish back into the ocean. You see, it's low tide and all these starfish have been washed up onto the shore. If, I don't throw them back into the ocean, they'll die up here from lack of oxygen."
"But, there must be thousands of starfish on this beach. You can't possible get to all of them. And, don't you realize this is probably happening on hundreds of beaches all up and down this coast. Can't you see that you can't possibly make a difference?"
The man bent down and picked up yet another starfish, and threw it back into the ocean. With a smile he replied, "Made a difference to that one !!!"
Just remember, no matter how small the deed
it really does makes a difference.
Make a difference today.
Do something nice for someone else,
even if it's just sending this mail to a friend and
letting them know somebody cares about them
As, he approached even closer, he noticed that the man was picking up starfish that had been washed up on the beach. He was throwing them back into the water, one by one. Puzzled, he approached the man and said, "Good Evening. I was wondering what you are doing."
"I'm throwing these starfish back into the ocean. You see, it's low tide and all these starfish have been washed up onto the shore. If, I don't throw them back into the ocean, they'll die up here from lack of oxygen."
"But, there must be thousands of starfish on this beach. You can't possible get to all of them. And, don't you realize this is probably happening on hundreds of beaches all up and down this coast. Can't you see that you can't possibly make a difference?"
The man bent down and picked up yet another starfish, and threw it back into the ocean. With a smile he replied, "Made a difference to that one !!!"
Just remember, no matter how small the deed
it really does makes a difference.
Make a difference today.
Do something nice for someone else,
even if it's just sending this mail to a friend and
letting them know somebody cares about them
Friday, December 23, 2005
Without a GirlFriend
1. You can stare at any Girl.......
2. You don't have to spend money on her.
3. You won't get boring result in ur papers.
4. Having a girlfriend is hot, not having a girlfriend is automatically cool, and every one to be a cool guy loves .
5. This can be more to life than just waiting for the bloody phone to ring
5. You won't have to tolerate someone else defining, "right" and "wrong" for u.
6. Girlfriend can get so possessive that you can't do anything according ur wishes anymore.
7. You can buy gifts for mom, dad, sis or grandpa instead of a girlfriend and have a happier family life.
8. You won't have to waste paper writing love letters.No more endless waiting for ur date to arrive at some weird shop\place
9. You can have more friends, as u will have more time for them
10. You wont have to tell lie to anybody and, therefore, u'll sin less.
11. You can have good night's sleep-no need to dream about her.
12.You wont have to fight over having a 'special' freind with ur folks.
13. No nonstop nonsense.
14. You wont have drown in the pool of her tears.
15. No more tension.
16. You can be "urself"
17. You wont have to hide your telephone bills...
So Try to AVOID Girl Friends in your Life...!
2. You don't have to spend money on her.
3. You won't get boring result in ur papers.
4. Having a girlfriend is hot, not having a girlfriend is automatically cool, and every one to be a cool guy loves .
5. This can be more to life than just waiting for the bloody phone to ring
5. You won't have to tolerate someone else defining, "right" and "wrong" for u.
6. Girlfriend can get so possessive that you can't do anything according ur wishes anymore.
7. You can buy gifts for mom, dad, sis or grandpa instead of a girlfriend and have a happier family life.
8. You won't have to waste paper writing love letters.No more endless waiting for ur date to arrive at some weird shop\place
9. You can have more friends, as u will have more time for them
10. You wont have to tell lie to anybody and, therefore, u'll sin less.
11. You can have good night's sleep-no need to dream about her.
12.You wont have to fight over having a 'special' freind with ur folks.
13. No nonstop nonsense.
14. You wont have drown in the pool of her tears.
15. No more tension.
16. You can be "urself"
17. You wont have to hide your telephone bills...
So Try to AVOID Girl Friends in your Life...!
Pre School Test
Pre-school children were asked the following question:
"In which direction is the bus pictured below traveling. Look carefully at the picture.Do you know the answer?The only possible answers are "left" and "right.".
.
...Think about it ...
.
.
.Still don't know?.
.
.
.
.Okay, I'll tell you..
.
.
The pre-schoolers all answered " right .
"When asked, "Why do you think the bus is traveling in the rightdirection?" they answered:"Because you can't see the door.
"Feel pretty silly now, don't you?
Sent By: Raghu T
Engineers - Part Two
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude! "
The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him." [dramatic pause]
"Hi George, say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind fire-fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.
"The group was silent for a moment. The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
Sent By : Raghu T
The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude! "
The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him." [dramatic pause]
"Hi George, say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind fire-fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.
"The group was silent for a moment. The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
Sent By : Raghu T
So she could love you
A man was wandering around in a field, thinking about how good his wife had been to him, and how fortunate he was to have her.
He asked God, "Why did you make her so kind hearted?"
The Lord responded, "So you could love her, my son."
"Why did you make her so good looking?"
"So you could love her, my son."
"Why did you make her such a good cook?"
"So you could love her, my son."
The man thought about this. Then he said, "I don't mean to seem ungrateful or anything, but why did you make her so stupid?"
"So she could love you, my son."
He asked God, "Why did you make her so kind hearted?"
The Lord responded, "So you could love her, my son."
"Why did you make her so good looking?"
"So you could love her, my son."
"Why did you make her such a good cook?"
"So you could love her, my son."
The man thought about this. Then he said, "I don't mean to seem ungrateful or anything, but why did you make her so stupid?"
"So she could love you, my son."
Thursday, December 22, 2005
Cool SMS
Q: What's the difference between a Kiss, a car & a monkey?
A: A kiss is so dear, a car is too dear & the monkey is U dear!
• Our friendship is like playing on a see-saw, not only because its always fun being with u but also because I won't mind going down to see u rise.
• Some friends r worth 2b thrown, some r good 2 keep, some r 2b treasured 4 ever. I think u r the one 2b thrown in the treasure box 2b kept 4 ever.
• When you are counting all your friends, the oldest, the best & the new... I wud like to stand by ur side & say two little words..."ME TOO"
• Friendship is like peeing in ur pants. Everyone can c it but only u can feel its true warmth. Thanks 4 being the pee in my pants.
• A friend is sweet when its new but it is sweeter when its TRUE! But you know what? It's sweetest when its you.
• Valuing Friendship is not merely by seeing each other everyday. What counts is that somehow in our busy lives, we remember EACH OTHER.
• A friend is 1% funny, 2% sweet, 3% caring, 4% loving, 90% good looking. Thats why I am your friend! You are so lucky.
• Hey friend, remember that without stupidity there can be no wisdom & without ugliness there can be no
beauty so the world needs YOU after all!
• Friends are like puzzle pieces. If one goes away, that special piece can never be replaced and that
puzzle will never be whole again.
A: A kiss is so dear, a car is too dear & the monkey is U dear!
• Our friendship is like playing on a see-saw, not only because its always fun being with u but also because I won't mind going down to see u rise.
• Some friends r worth 2b thrown, some r good 2 keep, some r 2b treasured 4 ever. I think u r the one 2b thrown in the treasure box 2b kept 4 ever.
• When you are counting all your friends, the oldest, the best & the new... I wud like to stand by ur side & say two little words..."ME TOO"
• Friendship is like peeing in ur pants. Everyone can c it but only u can feel its true warmth. Thanks 4 being the pee in my pants.
• A friend is sweet when its new but it is sweeter when its TRUE! But you know what? It's sweetest when its you.
• Valuing Friendship is not merely by seeing each other everyday. What counts is that somehow in our busy lives, we remember EACH OTHER.
• A friend is 1% funny, 2% sweet, 3% caring, 4% loving, 90% good looking. Thats why I am your friend! You are so lucky.
• Hey friend, remember that without stupidity there can be no wisdom & without ugliness there can be no
beauty so the world needs YOU after all!
• Friends are like puzzle pieces. If one goes away, that special piece can never be replaced and that
puzzle will never be whole again.
Engineers - Part One
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."
Sent By : Raghu T
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."
Sent By : Raghu T
A true and touching love story
A true, touching love story that happened in the Jamu &Kashmir(border)areas.
The headman of a big tribe had a beautiful daughter, who fell in love with a boy who was an ordinary poor person. When the people of the tribe came to know about their love, they did not like it at all, and so began to protest about it. Now it happened that the two lovers left their homes for a happy future.
The people of the tribe started searching for the two lovers but they could not find them. At last, they accepted their love and asked them in a newspaper to come back.The people said that if u both come back wewill marry u, we acceptthat u loved each other truly. So in this way their love won and the age old attitude of the tribe took a beating.
The couple went to the city for shopping for the wedding. He was wearing a white traditional dress, and was crossing the road when a car came and hit him and he died on the spot. The girl lost her senses. After a long time she recovered and accepted that her love has died.
One night she was sleeping in her home with her family. Her mother haddream in which she saw a fairy. That fairy asked her mother to wash the blood spots of the guy from her daughter's clothes as soon as possible. But her mother ignored the dream.
Next night the father saw the same dream, he also ignored it. Then when the girl had the same dream the next night, she woke up and told her mother about the dream.
Her mother asked her to wash the clothes on which there were blood spots. She washed the spots but some remained. Next night she again had the same dream she again washed the spots but some still remained. Next night she again had the same dream and this time that fairy gave her lastwarning to wash the blood spots, else something terrible will happen. This time the girl tried her best to wash the spots, the clothes tore, but some spots still remained.
In the evening on same day when she was alone, someone knocked the door, when she opened the door she saw the fairy at the door.
She got very scared and fainted. The fairy woke her up..., andgave her an object, That awe-struck girl asked "what is this..? to which the fairy replied :
..... surf excel irukkullaappram enna kavala............
I know what u are feeling now... But don't look for me... I'msearching for the person who mailed this to me...
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Information
1) If we say 'MUMMY', they come together & go apart when we say 'DADDY'? - LIPS
2) What goes up & never comes down? - AGE
3) Patches over patches but no stitches? - CABBAGE
4) What is that we cannot see, but is always before you? - FUTURE
5) What goes up & down a hill, but never moves? - ROAD
6) You can never wet it? - SHADOW
7) What belongs to You, but used by your friends more often you do? - YOUR NAME
2) What goes up & never comes down? - AGE
3) Patches over patches but no stitches? - CABBAGE
4) What is that we cannot see, but is always before you? - FUTURE
5) What goes up & down a hill, but never moves? - ROAD
6) You can never wet it? - SHADOW
7) What belongs to You, but used by your friends more often you do? - YOUR NAME
Smoke Signal
The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him, and every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming.
Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect himself from the elements, and to store his few possessions. But then one day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, the smoke rolling up to the sky.
The worst had happened ~everything was lost. He was stunned with grief and anger. "God, how could you do this to me?" he cried.
Early the next day, however, he was wakened by the sound of a ship that was approaching the island. It had come to rescue him.
"How did you know I was here?" asked the weary man of his rescuers.
"We saw your smoke signal," they replied.
Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect himself from the elements, and to store his few possessions. But then one day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, the smoke rolling up to the sky.
The worst had happened ~everything was lost. He was stunned with grief and anger. "God, how could you do this to me?" he cried.
Early the next day, however, he was wakened by the sound of a ship that was approaching the island. It had come to rescue him.
"How did you know I was here?" asked the weary man of his rescuers.
"We saw your smoke signal," they replied.
It really works
A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.
The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled " It really works ! "
The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled " It really works ! "
Clean my house
A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an afterward cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy young man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes away from him. The young man noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward her.
Before she could offer her apologies for being so rude for staring, the young man said to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $100, on one condition."
Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was. The young man replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."
The woman considered his proposition for a moment, withdrew from her purse and slowly counted out five $20 bills, which she pressed into the young man's hand along with her address. She looked deeply into his eyes and slowly, meaningfully said: "Clean my house"
Before she could offer her apologies for being so rude for staring, the young man said to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $100, on one condition."
Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was. The young man replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."
The woman considered his proposition for a moment, withdrew from her purse and slowly counted out five $20 bills, which she pressed into the young man's hand along with her address. She looked deeply into his eyes and slowly, meaningfully said: "Clean my house"
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Average Human Being in 24 Hours
In a period of a day or 24 hours an average human:
1) HEART beats 1,03,689 times.
2) LUNGS respire 23,045 times.
3) BLOOD flows 16,80,000 miles.
4) NAILS grow 0.00007 inches
5) HAIR grows 0.01715 inches
6) Take 2.9 pounds WATER (Including other liquids)
7) Take of 3.25 pounds FOOD.
8) Breathe 438 cubic feet AIR.
9) Lose 85.60, BODY TEMPERATURE.
10) Produce 1.43 pints SWEAT.
11) Speak 4,800 WORDS.
12) During SLEEP move 25.4 times
1) HEART beats 1,03,689 times.
2) LUNGS respire 23,045 times.
3) BLOOD flows 16,80,000 miles.
4) NAILS grow 0.00007 inches
5) HAIR grows 0.01715 inches
6) Take 2.9 pounds WATER (Including other liquids)
7) Take of 3.25 pounds FOOD.
8) Breathe 438 cubic feet AIR.
9) Lose 85.60, BODY TEMPERATURE.
10) Produce 1.43 pints SWEAT.
11) Speak 4,800 WORDS.
12) During SLEEP move 25.4 times
Appraisal Time
A man was sleeping in his house. Suddenly Yamaraj appeared & said, "Go Out & Enjoy. Nothing will happen to you for the next 10 Years."
He did so & met with an accident & died.
On the way to heaven is the hell....saw Yamaraj whistling n relaxing. He asked yamraj, why did you lie to me.
"Sorry Son, Appraisal Time, had to Achieve Target..."
He did so & met with an accident & died.
On the way to heaven is the hell....saw Yamaraj whistling n relaxing. He asked yamraj, why did you lie to me.
"Sorry Son, Appraisal Time, had to Achieve Target..."
Todays SMS
3 monkeys escaped from the zoo....
One was caught watching TV....
Another playing football...
and the third one........
No its not you...
Why do u always think u r a monkey??
The third one is still missing...
One was caught watching TV....
Another playing football...
and the third one........
No its not you...
Why do u always think u r a monkey??
The third one is still missing...
Smart Dean
One Night 4 MBA Students were Boozing till late night and didn't study for the Test which was scheduled for the next day. In the Morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty and weird as they could with grease and dirt.
They then went up to the Dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tyre of their car burst and they had to push the car.
All the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test then Dean was a just person so he said that you can have the Retest after 3 days. They said they will be ready by that Time.
On the third day they appeared before the Dean. The Dean said that this was a special Condition Test.
All Four were required to separate Classrooms for the test. They all agreed as they had prepared well in the Last Three days.
The Test consisted of 2 Questions with Total of 100 Marks
Q.1. Write Down your Names -----( 2 Marks )
Q.2. Which Tyre Burst ----------( 98 Marks )
They then went up to the Dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tyre of their car burst and they had to push the car.
All the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test then Dean was a just person so he said that you can have the Retest after 3 days. They said they will be ready by that Time.
On the third day they appeared before the Dean. The Dean said that this was a special Condition Test.
All Four were required to separate Classrooms for the test. They all agreed as they had prepared well in the Last Three days.
The Test consisted of 2 Questions with Total of 100 Marks
Q.1. Write Down your Names -----( 2 Marks )
Q.2. Which Tyre Burst ----------( 98 Marks )
Monday, December 19, 2005
I miss you
I miss you each day in my life
I miss you each time you leave
I miss you each time you say goodbye
I miss everything about you
I miss your smile and your laughter
I miss your tender touch of humor
I miss your gentleness and kindness
I miss you when you leave my sight
I miss you all the time
I miss you when you're so far away
I miss you with all my heart
I miss you in my thoughts
I miss you at my side
I miss looking at your eyes
I miss your kisses and your touch
I miss you so much
I miss you every moment
I miss you everyday
I miss you soooo much!
I miss you each time you leave
I miss you each time you say goodbye
I miss everything about you
I miss your smile and your laughter
I miss your tender touch of humor
I miss your gentleness and kindness
I miss you when you leave my sight
I miss you all the time
I miss you when you're so far away
I miss you with all my heart
I miss you in my thoughts
I miss you at my side
I miss looking at your eyes
I miss your kisses and your touch
I miss you so much
I miss you every moment
I miss you everyday
I miss you soooo much!
It's a Ferrari
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood.
She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage.
The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over,
so I gave it two coats.
"Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.
"And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage.
The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over,
so I gave it two coats.
"Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.
"And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
Hold my Hand
Little girl and her father were crossing a bridge. The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter, "Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don't fall into the river."
The little girl said, "No, Dad. You hold my hand."
"What's the difference?" Asked the puzzled father.
"There's a big difference," replied the little girl. "If I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are that I may let your hand go.
But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens, you will never let my hand go.
In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond. So hold the hand of the person whom you love rather than expecting them to hold urs...
The little girl said, "No, Dad. You hold my hand."
"What's the difference?" Asked the puzzled father.
"There's a big difference," replied the little girl. "If I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are that I may let your hand go.
But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens, you will never let my hand go.
In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond. So hold the hand of the person whom you love rather than expecting them to hold urs...
Violent Bartender
One night, a drunk comes stumbling into a bar and says to the bartender: "Drinks for all on me including you, bartender." So the bartender follows the mans orders and says: "That will be $36.50 please." The drunk says he has no money so the bartender slaps him around and throws him out.
The next night the same drunk comes in again and orders a drink for everyone in the bar including the bartender. Again the bartender follows instructions and again the drunk says he has no money. So the bartender slaps him around and throws him out.
On the third night he comes in, the drunk orders drinks for all except the bartender. "What, no drink for me?" replies the bartender. "Oh, no. You get violent when you drink."
The next night the same drunk comes in again and orders a drink for everyone in the bar including the bartender. Again the bartender follows instructions and again the drunk says he has no money. So the bartender slaps him around and throws him out.
On the third night he comes in, the drunk orders drinks for all except the bartender. "What, no drink for me?" replies the bartender. "Oh, no. You get violent when you drink."
Friday, December 16, 2005
Marketing Strategies
Professor at IIM was explaining marketing concepts:
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, "I am very rich. Marry me!"
That's Direct Marketing.
You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.
One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, "He's very rich. Marry him."
That's Advertising.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say "Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me."
That's Telemarketing.
You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm very rich. Will you marry me?"
That's Public Relations.
You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says,
"You are very rich.."
That's Brand Recognition.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, "I'm rich. Marry me" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.
That's Customer Feedback !!!!!
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, "I am very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband
That's demand and supply gap.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and before you say, "I am very rich. Marry me!" she turns her face towards you ------------
she is your wife !
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, "I am very rich. Marry me!"
That's Direct Marketing.
You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.
One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, "He's very rich. Marry him."
That's Advertising.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say "Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me."
That's Telemarketing.
You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm very rich. Will you marry me?"
That's Public Relations.
You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says,
"You are very rich.."
That's Brand Recognition.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, "I'm rich. Marry me" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.
That's Customer Feedback !!!!!
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, "I am very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband
That's demand and supply gap.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and before you say, "I am very rich. Marry me!" she turns her face towards you ------------
she is your wife !
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